I had a miscarriage and the d&c triggered me

[Roland]

I'm curious to know what of this week is going to be long lasting trauma, especially medically speaking. It's far too early to tell if my trauma was triggered or if I was retraumatized. I have a lot of support and I feel I can process everything with writing and painting.

I know the d&c procedure is best done under anaesthesia and that someone mentioned that trauma history aside, it's a disturbing procedure to be awake for. It's so invasive. However, I can't find anything, anywhere about d&c triggering rape trauma. Doesn't mean it's unheard of, and obviously anything inserted may very well trigger rape trauma. But I expected to have found something by now.

The tricky thing about my trauma is that I don't know much about what or how or who raped me. I just know I was raped. My body knows, it screams, it flinches at unexpected touch. If I don't feel pleasure fairly quickly during sex, I get triggered, I feel used, and taken advantage of. I know my dad sexually abused and harassed me. I have clear memories of that and some of it was witnessed by family and friends. But this? I have no idea. I get the sense that it was digital rape (as in someone raped me with their hand/fingers) but I don't know. I also sometimes get the sense that it may have been some kind of object. There's no reason to think it was only one incident but like I said I have no idea.

EMDR has at least afforded me the ability to say no and to decline sex. I can't have sex for a couple weeks and I don't feel any pressure or guilt about it. I don't feel like I'm failing my husband for not meeting his needs. This is huge for me. EMDR works.

 

[Movingforward10]

, I can't find anything, anywhere about d&c triggering rape trauma. Doesn't mean it's unheard of, and obviously anything inserted may very well trigger rape trauma. But I expected to have found something by now

I think there is appallingly, and I mean shockingly appallingly, hardly any info out there about internal procedures and the impact for women who have experienced sexual violence.
I have raised it a couple of times with some medical appointment i have been on. One clinic sent me pages and pages of information before the appointment but none of it mentioned anything about being trauma informed and how to care for patients with that trauma. I try and find out what the procedures will be and who will be performing them, and it's impossible.
At the last appointment I went on, where I had no idea if she was going to do an internal or not (she didn't in the end as what she described was something I wouldn't have been able to do). And I said to her that 1 in 4 women have exerpeinced sexual violence in some form so why does the medical profession not cater to 25% of the women they see? She didn't have an answer. It just blows my mind that there isn't this consideration in 2025. And by women for women. 25% of those women giving these procedures will have experienced trauma too so why don't they get it? Blows. My. Mind.

So, sadly, I am not surprised at all that there is no info for what you are looking up.

I think any internal procedure is potentially triggering. For so many reasons.

But this? I have no idea.

And maybe that is part of it? Your body remembers something and your mind doesn't know and that feels unsafe anyway, and then you have this internal procedure that is so stressful and it just triggers the past.

 

[Roland]

I think there is appallingly, and I mean shockingly appallingly, hardly any info out there about internal procedures and the impact for women who have experienced sexual violence.
I have raised it a couple of times with some medical appointment so have been on. One clinic sent me pages and pages of information before the appointment but none of it mentioned anything about being trauma informed and how to care for patients with that trauma. I try and find out what the procedures will be and who will be performing them, and it's impossible.
So I am not surprised at all that there is no info for what you are looking up.

I think any internal procedure is potentially triggering. For so many reasons.

And maybe that is part of it? Your body remembers something and your mind doesn't know and that feels unsafe anyway, and then you have this internal procedure that is so stressful and it just triggers the past.

Yes totally. I did research beforehand but didn't know exactly how they would do it. But then when I'm sitting there and the nurse is explaining everything I just felt like totally unable to comprehend what she was saying. Maybe it was her communication style or maybe the oxycodone was affecting my head.

I try to choose female doctors for anything that will be of an intimate nature. I know logically that male doctors are professionals and most likely not creeps but men scare me and trigger me. Somehow I was blessed to get only female doctors and ultrasound techs this week. I didn't ask for that, it just happened.

It's really sad what you said about lacking trauma informed care. You'd think we'd have that now.

And yes it's absolutely a part of it. My husband and I have learned that I have to be mentally and physically "warmed up" before he touches me intimately, because if I'm not already turned on I get triggered.

Lots of stuff to discuss in therapy.

 

[Movingforward10]

I just felt like totally unable to comprehend what she was saying

Maybe you were disassociating at that point? It's hard to take on information and use our cognition when we're disassociated or emotionally heightened.

And yes it's absolutely a part of it. My husband and I have learned that I have to be mentally and physically "warmed up" before he touches me intimately, because if I'm not already turned on I get triggered.

It's good you've learnt that and know yourself well.

 

[Roland]

Maybe you were disassociating at that point? It's hard to take on information and use our cognition when we're disassociated or emotionally heightened.

It's good you've learnt that and know yourself well.

Yeah probably, compounded with stress and drugs. I took morphine and fentanyl each once, and I took Percocet and oxycodone back to back.