I hate me

[Overcoming]

I'm so sick of myself. I'm sick of anxiety. Sick of depression. Sick of being so unsure of myself. Sick of feeling alone and unwanted. Sick of trying to resist self harm. I don't want to feel so anxious anymore. I can scream. It hurts. Need relief.

 

[lostnconfused]

I hear you. Ditto for me: I wish I could feel the few moments when I felt extremely happy as a child, again, but, as an adult, I can't recapture that innocence.

 

[AnonymousGirl99]

Hi I'smom,

I'm just reading your message now, though it's been a bit since you posted it. I just wanted to say that I hope you have found even a tiny little bit of peace you can hold onto. I'm in the same spot. Tired of fighting all the time. But, something that has helped me has been the very intentional and sometimes seemingly impossible task of finding meaning even in the lowest of times. Well, at least the times where we can see just a tiny bit of light. For me it's usually small things. I don't have any family or anything and very few friends. What's meaningful to me is still being able to appreciate the sound of birds, the grass, pleasant weather, taking walks, things like that. Sounds so corny, but if you can find just a wee bit of peace in the things that PTSD hasn't changed, you might find the weight a little less. For a few minutes, anyway.

Hope I don't sound to preachy. It's just I've been in the same spot. So tired. Walking around with scars on my arm and I think what's the point in stopping anyway? If it's what helps the constant panic? But any chance you can get to change the thoughts, please try. Your life is still worth living. You are still worth fighting for.

Ella

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am struggling with self hate at the moment. I am not in a good place and keep on trying to focus and be present in the moment, not the past, nor the future. Right now all is well. But try to tell my mind that with its powerful inner critic blasting like a loud stereo. I am battling intense fear and suspense as well. I sure hate suspense so much. I am trying very hard to regulate my runaway emotions. But it is hard to do. By focusing on the present, I can keep bringing my confused self back to a good place inside of me.