I Hate My Learning Disabilities

[dougyhowzer]

Hello it has been a while since I posted here . So I like to talk about my learning disability .

I have two learning disabilities .
One is based on communication .
I have trouble from time to time being able to use the words I want and how it makes sense in a conservation .

I can speak okay , but I often have trouble using the right words and how to express them .

The other disability I was diagnosed with as a child is a visual spatial learning disorder .

This one bothers me the most because it has a impact in a lot of my activities . I will give an example .

I like seeing others dying guitar and how their not hindered by a disability , yet when I try to play , I am hindered every time because my disability makes it very difficult to play the notes right .

I also think I might be suffering from either Add or ADHD ( waiting to get a consultation )

This is why I get so frustrated and angry and usually end packing up my guitar . I hate the blasted fact that the things that I enjoy most , I can't fully do because of my disabilities .

 

[Deleted member 30850]

I hate mine, too. My spatial reasoning is crap; I also have discalculia (math problem.) It has caused me shame and self esteem issues. I feel stupid.

 

[Chava]

Learning disabilities can be really frustrating. I didn't have diagnosed disabilities but had extra tutoring early on because I was not where I was supposed to be (and struggled with some parts of learning for many years). But as a musician I can say that playing an instrument is challenging for anyone. Of those I've taught, the ones who pushed through their limitations and committed to practicing always improved.

Besides, there is so much involved in being a musician. I've had dyslexic students who got lost in their music but made a really beautiful sound, while other students played all the right notes but in a pretty mechanical and uninteresting way. For me, playing all the right notes just isn't what music is all about. So forget about mistakes but keep practicing if you really love it. Set comparisons aside, if possible, and do it for you. Also, as you keep working, you will likely find where you have strengths that are totally separate from the areas where you feel limited or stuck right now.

I also know many musicians with diagnosed ADD/ADHD. It can make it really challenging, and yet for many music was a way to organize their attention (though colleagues with more severe ADD benefitted from medication). So good if you are checking on that diagnosis, and if there are ways to help make some things easier for you.

 

[dougyhowzer]

Thanks. I am hopeing to see my psychiatrist . I am wondering however if I need to change to another one that I can see on a regular ongoing basis .

My current psychiatrist I only see based on consultations , but I guess that is better than not having a psychiatrist at all .

I also heard that there is medications and other ways of dealing with ADD/ADHD if it turns out that I do have it .

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm dyslexic. I am 60 yrs old now, so a lot of what I suffered is behind me. Thankfully I was diagnosed when I was in 2nd grade. My parents knew something was wrong and so they told my pediatrician. He tested me and diagnosed me then. My parents got special tutors for me and the Dr. told them to cover one of my eyes and have me read, then uncover that one, and have me read with the other eye while that other eye is covered. Then I would read the passage again with both eyes. They had me do this for a whole summer, until finally something happened and I broke through it all and could read, but I was still way behind my class, so I ended up flunking 3rd grade. However, by 6th grade, I had caught up on everything except spelling. Thank God for spell checkers!

 

[Friday]

I also heard that there is medications and other ways of dealing with ADD/ADHD if it turns out that I do have it .

Part 1.
There are apx 80 commonly prescribed ADHD meds.

Spoiler: Bunch of stuff on ADHD meds

All but 1 is a stimulant. (strattera / atomoxetine; a selective norepinephrine reputable inhibitor /sNRI, not to be confused with sSNRIs selective serotonin norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, like Effexor. Very,,very different drugs). The 80 come from 3 families of stimulants, but only 2 families are commonly used in the US: Amphetamine Family & Ritalin (Methylphenidate) Family.

Rx'd stimulants are formulated to be much longer lasting than OTC (or street drug) stimulants... Lasting usually 4, 8, or 24 hours. Much, much stronger than OTC stimulants (caffeine, nicotine, etc.), they all have very distinct "flavors". LOL... I often describe the search to find the right ADHD med as "picking your side effects". Ideally, the side effects will be a bonus (like being able to fall asleep within 15 min, instead of the more standard 1-2 hours it takes most no-med ADHD people to fall asleep... Or something that doesn't bug you if it's not useful... And not something like rage, or nausea, loss of creative ability.

The reason why there are 80 commonly Rx'd meds, but only 2 families (commonly used in the US)... Is that there are many many many different forms of amphetamines (amphetamine, dexamphtamine, dextroamphetamine, lysdexamphetamine, methamphetamine, etc.), and different combinations of them singly or together do very different things... For a person who has ADHD. ADDERAL, for example is 4 kinds... amphetamine + dextroamphetamine... In both short acting and long acting versions of themselves.

Stimulants don't cure ADHD. All the symptoms still remain, at full strength, whether you're on meds or not. The symptoms affected by the medication while on it, come back the moment the medication wears off. It's a useful thing, in trying different meds, because you can try different doses & times over a few weeks, take a break for a few days/few weeks & try another, same thing. Very much unlike PTSD (or depression, etc.) which have very changeable symptoms, and whose meds usually require a 3mo commitment at a minimum: month to build up, month to acclimate, month to taper off... ADHD meds if you have a shit reaction day 1? Can stop right there. Or you can keep on for a few more days and see how it evolves (or not).

If you're curious whether stimulants will help work to calm you down & focus you? As an adult* there is a very easy test... Go to your local coffee shop & order 5-15 shots of espresso and knock them back. All at once. Just like doing a shot of tequila. Clearly, let the sucker cool first! ;)

If you start to feel very mellow? Or even just want to go to sleep? Yeah. Stimulant medication is likely to be very helpful to you if you can find the right flavor & dose that let's you keep what you like about ADHD (there are more strengths than weaknesses), and ditch what you don't.

If you start to feel wired/jittery etc.? First off, it's highly unlikely that you have ADHD, but secondly, stimulant medication is unlikely to be helpful to you... And should be approached cautiously... As there are a couple disorders similar to ADHD (Bipolar Disorder, most conspicuously) where stimulants can trigger manic or mixed episodes. It's still safer to try a strong stimulant (Rx) rather than an antipsychotic or mood stabilizer if it's uncertain whether it's ADHD or Bipolar disorder (because manic episodes are easily handled compared to psychosis... Which is what happens when you give an ADHD person Bipolar meds), but it's a thing to be aware of. And reactions to very mild stimulants (OTC) are a pretty good indicator for what will happen with strong ones. OTC reaction X 1000.

* For kids this test is a little more challenging... As kids prior to puberty are prone to getting "overtired". Overtired looks the the screaming me-mies in both ADHD & neurotypical kids. Wired to the hilt / emotions at full roar / eye crossing crazy-town (please, dear god, sleeeeeeep). It's still commonly preformed, & is known as the "coke test" or "mtn dew test"... It just uses a very small amount of caffeine. Less than half a can, on average Of course, if a kid is regularly drinking a can of coke or cup of coffee right before bedtime to help them sleep? It's a fairly safe bet they have opposite-caffeine reaction / aka ADHD hallmark.

 

[Friday]

Part 2.

Not from simply being ADHD, but from having spent 10 years teaching ADHD kids (my own & other people's):

ADHD kids are less learning disability, and more learning challenged. Not as a PC thing. Hyperfocus (intense concentration) always always always comes along with Hypofocus (distractibility). In point of fact, the vast majority of ADHD kids fall somewhere on the gifted spectrum. To be very clear, that doesn't mean that learning comes easily... It means that learning comes differently. Whether a child is ADHD, Gifted, ADHD+Gifted (2e), straight Gifted, or Gifted+A different LD (2e).

The name of the game with getting an ADHD kid engaged in any type of learning... Is to make it interesting. To them. Which means to find the "hooks". Pick a subject, nearly any subject and you can teach every single aspect of schoolwork through that subject. Be it cars, horses, princesses, molecular biology, video game design, medicine, sports, archeology, comics, the civil war,... It doesn't matter. Reading, writing, math, science, history, etc....from kindergarten to collegiate levels... can all be taught through points of interest. ((Also part of why ADHD kids/adults almost universally excell in college where they can pick interesting classes within core subjects, even if they flunked out of highschool. K12 schooling is the most difficult thing most ADHD people will go through... It couldn't be designed to better showcase the *weaknesses* of the disorder! instead of the strengths. Most universities, otoh, utilize about 75% of the strengths. It's an entirely different educational paradigm.

That's what I did for 10 years teaching ADHD kids: Designed curriculum & class structures in such a way as to bring out the strengths of ADHD & minimize the weaknesses. The curriculum/Scope&Sequence in a general way, and then my teaching kids, or contracting for specific curriculum, in a very specialized way.

I like to use cooking metaphors/similes. The parallel is if you're a vegetarian... And are in a normal restaurant? Not a lot of food you can eat. The "general way" would be then going to a vegetarian restaurant, the specific way would be going to a vegetarian restaurant whose menu is designed around all of your particular favorite foods & dietary needs based on activity levels & other medical needs. I designed & sold general curriculums based on ADHD learning styles, and then would contract with specific kids/their parents (or tutors/governesses) to propel them from A-Z... So either my teaching them myself, or more commonly, get to know the kid, and then design a curriculum for someone else to teach them. Super fun. In both methodologies.

 

[AnnaLost]

I'm not sure that I can add much, except I understand what you mean and how frustrating those types of disabilities can be. I can't remember personal pronouns, i.e. people's names, especially in the context of books, movies, TV, sports, etc. Don't ask me to join your Trivial Pursuit game, 'cause I'll be the dead weight! But ask me to do a hands on project and I can do just about anything, no sweat. My kids tease me all the time about my using the wrong words when I'm talking, but it upsets the heck out of me when I do it.

I will offer that I use notebooks, religiously, to keep track of conversations, things people have told me, phone calls, etc. I've got them going back for years. I frequently review my notes of the last week or so to help remind myself of what happened and it helps to imprint important things for me.

 

[dougyhowzer]

Thanks for all the replies . I won't really know if I do suffer from ADHD until I see my psychiatrist , but all this info has helped .

I also didn't mention this, but I applied for disability services Ontario . It's a organization that provides supports and services for those who suffer from developmental disabilities .
I am hopeing to be approved ,that said I am thinking perhaps changing my home environment will help .

I think getting rid of my tv , some of my electronics , and access to Internet would help me be able to concentrate and focus more on what has been good for me .

 

[void]

Hello it has been a while since I posted here . So I like to talk about my learning disability .

I...

@dougyhowzer
your first LD - is it a communication issue or a social communication issue?
big difference
did they name this LD?

 

[Ronin]

@dougyhowzer, how are you with nonverbal communication? And nonverbals in general? And how are you with communication using sign, using symbols, and such?

(Times I have verbal difficulties, I sign. I talk body language because it's both what I read fine with others and keeping me in touch with mine. If neither available / I'm too dissociated, symbols it is. Painting. Describing how visual-kinetic I think. Fluffying around with jokes and nonsense until sense of danger / words moving away passes.)

Which reminds me do you know if and how are your difficulties compounded by stress? It's something to keep in mind, that they're not entirely independent of one another.

 

[dougyhowzer]

I think it was both , especially verbally because I couldidnt make much sense with logic . Non verbally as well because of my poor login in writing .