I Have A New Therapist And I'm Frightened

[Jagged Angel]

I have moved towns and have had to change therapists. I will be seeing the new person next week, and I am frightened about going. I (like a lot of people here) get tired of, and triggered badly by, the telling of my story to a new person.

I am worried that this new person is not going to be appropriate, that they will know nothing about PTSD... I'm in a country area, and there are not a lot of options for therapy. I am worried that they will treat me badly... I really shouldn't have read that thread about bad therapists. :smile:

My last therapist told me what kinds of questions I should ask of the new therapist... what techniques do they use? How long have they been practising for? what school of thought do they follow?... does anyone have any other tips and hints for the initial session with a new therapist and things I should be wary of? I know that if I feel uncomfortable with this person, I can leave at any moment and find someone else, I am just scared.

 

[2quilt]

Remember that you are in control over the situation; you are considering hiring this person as you would a car mechanic or any other type of doctor or house painter or pet sitter. Ask about their philosophy on PTSD. Weigh every answer and also stop before answering his/her questions of you and weigh the question before you answer. If you think the question is none of their business, ask why they want to know that? I had a psychiatrist ask me where my husband worked in order to determine our income; I refused to answer because she could not tell me why her question was relevent to my PTSD. You have the right to refuse any question; keep telling yourself that you have 100% control over what happens.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Thank you, 2Quilt, I will take your advice... you're right, I am hiring this person as I would a mechanic or pet sitter, and I am in control. I guess we lose sight of that fact sometimes, when it comes to people in the medical profession.

 

[shiraz]

Hi Jagged Angel, I couldn't have put it better than 2quilt, but wanted to add that I have changed T's a few times in the last few months, trying to find a good one. Each time is a struggle to think of going through all the preliminaries again ... the getting to know you, getting the whole story out and building up trust is exhausting! I suggest that you cut some time out to rest afterwards ....

I hope it goes well and let us know how it worked out for you.

Sending hugs

:Hug_emoticon:
Shiraz

 

[sigh]

Maybe writing down the answers (if it's not anxiety provoking) would be good so you could examine them in the privacy of your home, maybe talking to your old t if possible.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Thank you for that advise, Shiraz, I will make sure there is time afterwards to reflect and rest - I usually do that anyway because it is so exhausting just talking to someone in general, but I think because this T is new, I will need a bit more time...

I am going to see them next Thursday, so I will come back here and let you know afterwards.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Ah! That is also a good idea! It will give me something other than myself to concentrate on, and a distraction might be a good idea - I tend to chat more easily if my focus is not entirely on myself... I'm the kind of person who will tell things while I have my head stuck in the engine of my car pulling out the head gasket...

 

[badpenny]

When I found a potential new therapist, I actually asked my old therapist if they would call the new one just to give them a rundown/"report" on my history and the treatment given so far. She was happy to do so, it can't hurt to ask.

 

[Jagged Angel]

Well, I went to see the new therapist today. I have now been diagnosed with Complex PTSD (my last T didn't know much about PTSD beyond diagnosis and some healing tools from CBT, and certainly nothing about C-PTSD... they did a good job with the immediate things I presented with, but the more intricate stuff they were not prepared for and had to seek out new information just to help me... very grateful to this person!), which rocks my boat a lot further out from shore. Not sure how I['m feeling about this yet... still reeeling a bit. She told me this near the end of my session with her, and then stopped to cha=eck I was ok before letting me go.

I am pleased to say that she is great! she is an older woman, who has been working as a psych for over 30 years. She is in her 60s, and to be honest, she's quite 'hip' and I like her attitude. She is empathetic without being soppy, and yet doesn't let me get away with stinking thinking... i need that in a T.

She spent a long many years wotking with sexual assault victims... not just in the immediate sense, straight after the assault, but for the long term stuff too. She has also worked in Community Health Centre where she saw a lot of people eho had childhood abuse... in other words, she knows her stuff whaen it comes to PTSD, and I am very happy to find som,eone like this in a country place.. Glad I don't ahve to thinik about going to the city to find someone.

So, it looks liike I have been very fortunate again... I have found a good person for a T! Someone upstairs loves me :)

 

[sigh]

I know this might sound overbearing, and I know that you live in an area where it's hard to find good trauma therapists, but it's a safe idea to concentrate on how she responds to you--how she responds to things you yourself have come to an answer about. I am saying this because I made the mistake of going through a couple of therpist about 2.5 yrs ago. The therapist I chose seemed really good for quite some time. It really wasn't until a year into it that I realized we were going no where. Now I am in the process of interviewing more people. The thing is, this one woman thinks she has me and we haven't even gotten together yet. My social worker sent me an additional few therapists. I'm just saying committing early can break your heart.

s.

 

[Auburngirl]

I'm really glad your first appointment went so well! I also find telling new person very stressful, and that's what kept me from changing therapists for a while - that fear.

I'm in a public system so we don't hire our psychiatrists, you are assigned, and it's paid through the taxation system. So, I rely on a different analogy than hiring a mechanic, and that's one of building a relationship. It's a professionally one-sided relationship - they'll get to know you much better than you know them, but I think like any sort of relationship (I'm using this in the non-romantic sense) it takes time. You need to put in time, to build trust and rapport. It's something my GP emphasised and I think it was a good call on her part - she said you need to spend time getting to know your psychiatrist, it may be a while before you feel comfortable talking about things, that's okay.

That said, while relationships grow over time, we also all have "gut reactions." For me, knowing I was going to see a man, my vetoes were if I felt scared/threatened by him, if he reminded me of my ex, and if I felt attracted to him. Fortunately none of these occurred.

Also, although things went really well- you've also just met her, take your time, and don't feel the need to rush into things, developing trust will help you feel safe as you get in deeper.

 

[Jagged Angel]

That's fair enough, Sigh. Thank you for pointing that out to me