I Have No Idea If I Was Drugged.

[AuraBunny]

5 days ago, I was drinking with my friend who I met from school. I been going out for few weeks to workout with him at 24 hour fitness and I went over to his house and had just 3-4 cups of vodka and we both drank on empty stomach. It was only around 6:40, We were playing cards and I got really hyper, but then he got really close to me and we kissed but, I didn't want it to go any further, I don't know why we did. He had sex with me but the moment I laid down, I felt myself pass out and he had unprotected sex with me and I didn't even consent to it. A few hrs later my bf called and I felt like crying, because I had no idea what I just did. I freaked out and thought maybe its because I always felt the trauma had happened was happening again. My ex used to make me have sex with him even when I didn't want to and I started having flashes. My current bf is in the Navy and he calls me and asks am I busy or what am I doing and I'm crying saying I'm sorry, I messed up. I'm just like everyone else and I didn't mean to. I passed out really fast and I didn't know it but apparently I also got sick. My friend apparently left him a text saying i'm busy at 7:55. I never tell my bf I'm busy just out of the blue so he got suspicious. I didn't even know that my buddy was texting him when I was passed out.

When I past out I don't know what happened but I was asleep when he helped me to the car, and I past out completely. In the morning I barely remembered anything. I don't know how I past out in an hour of drinking because it's never happened to me. I dranks 3 beers and 4 cups of bacardi vodka the last time I went to a party with friends and managed to pass out only hours later when it was 2 in the morning. How did I end up passing out within the hour of drinking? I suspect he drugged me, but I still have no proof. What do you think?

 

[alleycat]

Whether he drugged you or not he raped you. You didn't make the mistake, he did. Tell your boyfriend and call the cops on his ass.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

I have gone through this with the whole have I or haven't I been drugged with my ex (who also used alcohol as well) and I also have a lot of memory loss--I can't even remember the first time we had sex, or how he got me doing what somehow I ended up doing, after that there was no way out. But anyway I went through this again recently because I had a very real body memory of being drugged in therapy. And I know how crazy it made me feel, because I just didn't know and there is so much I can't remember, and I have no idea if it is "real" or not. It's hard to make sense of or process something when you don't know what it is, but you are still having to deal with the trauma and flashbacks etc. (and for instance, in the very real being drugged body memory, I had no conscious mental memory to go along with it, and probably never will).

But, having said all that, using alcohol to sexually assault someone is still rape, and you didn't "mess up", someone took advantage of your vulnerable state. If you couldn't consent, that is still rape.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

P.S. I am really sorry that happened to you. Safe hugs, if OK

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Call the police. File a report immediately if you suspect for even a moment that it was a possibility. Drugs or not, if you did not consent, then that is a form of rape. If you are not sure of where to go, go into the closest ER. They will evaluate you, and they will help you with medical attention (which if you are here, then you need it) and to file your report. Call or go now.

I had something like this happen- and while I can not discuss details because I simply can not, I can say- I have medical problems which lead me to go to the hospital and a blood test was done. I had indeed been drugged. Charges were filed at the hospital before I even left the building. This will tear you apart. Get help now, because you will need it.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

I might add to this, that if it was recent, drugs will often be out of your system within 24 hours, (although I think I have read somewhere it could be as long as 48 hours so if it has been longer than 24 it is still worth doing) so if you do have, and want, that type of closure (which believe me, can save you a lot of grief) you have to get tested right away. But you have to decide what is best for you, and keep in mind that even if it were to come back negative, it would not make it any less real or traumatic. Good luck, and keep posting. I know how hard it is.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Phoenix_rising has it right- It is in and out of your system in a matter of less than 48 hours. However- the ER is designed to take in cases and assist where any physical or sexual abuse has taken place. While it is too late for a blood test to offer a confirmation in this case- it is not too late to get help for the aftermath. And help will be needed.

In my case, it was fortunate that I already had an existing medical condition, otherwise I might still be wondering (or accusing myself rather) if it had been my fault. But I thought I was dying, literally. I thought my only kidney was finally giving it up, and so I went in. Sometimes, I think it would have been easier if I had only been dying.

 

[AuraBunny]

I'm having problems sleeping. Thanks everyone, I scheduled a doctor's appointment for tomorrow and also getting a therapist soon. He's going to a different school next semester studying architecture so I won't see him ever again. Its finals week and he even missed class today. As of recently he reactivated his fb and all I saw is pics of him going on other dates with girls and asking a girl to come over and drink at his house after the next day. I felt so used. Its sad that there's a lot of people like him. I wish he'll change for the better but for now, I know he is going to find other girls who accepts his ways.

One of the challenges to this friendship I had was missing all the deep conversations we used to have and the workouts at 24 hour. His family from Vietnam whom he has good relationship with, they're both architects and he's going to finish his major in art school. There was a collage in his room made about his dreams and goals in school, life, love, health that he made just for himself to look at. He wanted to love someone and learn how to be in a good relationship. Also to have a healthy strong body and he taught me how to make myself stronger. I just want things to be different. :'(