General I Honestly Can't Wait For Him To Leave

[kacee129]

I want this new year to be different. I don't want to be walking on eggshells. I don't want to bite my tongue. But here we go again. He is going back to Vegas. I can no longer deal with untreated PTSD. The outbursts of anger need to go away. He has been in correspondence with someone regarding a rental in Vegas, thru email and text. It started this morning. The landlord is asking legitimate questions ie: income etc. But to him those are unreasonable questions. To him it is someone having control over him. To him everyone is out to get him.

He keeps ranting to me. Yes, I know it is not directed to me, but I'm so tired of all the yelling. Nothing is ever his fault. Everyone else is always the enemy. I'm suppose to be a magician and smooth things out. And I'm expected to have it done yesterday.

Well - no more. He is a grown man. His choice is to not get treatment. His choice is to continue the way he has lived for the past 40 years....Ya - How's that working for you? They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I've been guilty of that as well. But no more. I'm done, over,
not sitting on this roller coaster any longer.

Like I said. I am county the days....I can't wait for him to leave.

And I apologize if this sounds harsh. It's the way I feel.

 

[a3a2]

No, it does not sound harsh. He has to take responsibility or things will just get worse.

 

[Jonnyblueyes]

I understand your pain in a sense but I don't quite think you understand your husbands. I'm a "sufferer" myself and can honestly thank god I have a woman who even though at times wanted to give up , didn't. She found a way to be there for me through the most horrific things that you could imagine. So I urge you to do the same and be strong , supportive , and if you love him you will help him. Don't make it about yourself and you walking on eggshells , or your insanity quote that everybody loves using. Take all that frustration you have , all those Crappy feelings you have towards your husband and use all of that energy to help HIM. he needs YOU not your anger, he needs love, affection, and support. Be there or just give up like you already have

 

[Barconian]

In any relationship, there comes a time to weigh up the odds! If your partner doesn't want to move forward and is pulling you down to the point that you are feeling your own sanity is crumbling, then it is time to make a decision based on your own needs over the other person.

 

[Jonnyblueyes]

Sounds like words from someone who liked giving up. Weighing the odds really ?? Moving on

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

@Jonnyblueyes An opinion is an opinion and we respect them in this community as long as they are said respectfully. Your experiences may be very different from the original posters and you are not a supporter so have not walked in those shoes.

@kacee129 I don't think you sound harsh either. If he is untreated and not helping himself then there is little you can do. You can't always keep pulling someone along who doesn't want it. Best wishes. :)

 

[Jonnyblueyes]

@Ayesha I'm just saying people shouldn't give up that easy. It's my opinion. Just like you stated yours I stated mine. While i was overseas protecting this country you sat around on posts like this stating your opinion. Just like I am. I have PTSD and wanted to read others experiences. So please let me do so. Thank you. Happy New Year

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@Jonnyblueyes,
Do you know her back story? I do. She's posted about this guy quite a bit. And no, he is not her husband. I am a sufferer and I think it's good that she's kicking him out.

Supporters have a breaking point. Honestly, I think it is SELFISH for untreated sufferers to be in a relationship. This guy refuses to help himself. Why should anyone help him and sacrifice themselves in the process?

She is in NO way giving up on him easily. Go read her past posts and you'll see what I mean.

I can be the most difficult person to be around at times, but at least I am trying to get better. I wouldn't deserve anyone else's help if I didn't even try to help myself in the least.

 

[kahlan]

Kaycee I'm glad that you are finally moving on. There's only so much you can do when he doesn't want to help himself.

Johnny, I understand that it seems harsh to someone who doesn't know the history in her story here, but sometimes being done is the only option.

 

[Ghostybear73]

I have learned in this forum that everyone is entitled to an opinion (whether they know the situation or not) and nobody's is right or wrong. The way it was stated to me is that you can either take what the other person is saying and use it or throw it away and move on. I think it's important to stick with what's important here which is supporting kacee and not worrying about what other people say as it is just their opinion. Whether or not it is respectful is all about a person's perspective and to some it may be said respectfully, while others would disagree.

@Jonnyblueyes , thank you for your service.

@kacee129 , I'm glad to see that your struggles with him will be over soon and you can focus on yourself and your needs for a while, rather than worrying about constantly walking on eggshells.

 

[Jonnyblueyes]

@Ghostybear73 it was just an opinion thank you for seeing that way. Thank you

 

[kacee129]

@Jonnyblueyes yes. And exactly how long do I support him when he refuses (and has told me so) that he won't even try treatment? If I offended you I apologize. But I'm not going to be the whipping board any more.