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I just can't do it! i feel so guilty!!!!

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Well......I am not going to go get anything. I deserve better treatment than this. He finally messaged me...I know he is grieving...My GOD....I understand grief but I deserve better...I know I do. I just feel so messed up right now.
 
I refuse to go to funerals unless I knew the person very well. If I do go as a comfort for a friend, I never go beyond the foyer of it. If this is too much for you don't even bother going.
Ask yourself, would you put someone in jeopardy, just to be a comfort for you? And jeopardy I mean causing an effect that could create a path to a flashback?
If the answer is no, be your own best friend and forbid anything in your life that would cause jeopardy for you.
If others don't get it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,screw um for not understanding,,,,,,,,,,,,and don't riddle yourself with guilt that is not going to help you, but eliminate you from moving forward.
What would the most endearing person from your childhood do, if they were the one to make the ultimate decision?
Don't be so hard on yourself.
And hopefully in the future you will be able to use the glorious word no, way before you start getting yourself into a fit.
The quicker the word no is used, the less trauma and stagnant behavior will intrude on you.
hope this helps,,,
 
This whole episode has my PTSD symptoms worse right now. i know it will pass but I feel so emotionally exhausted and hurt.
 
Well...thank you for asking...I finally slept about 7 hours straight so I think I am a bit better today....I just have to think positive and not so negative. I think never dating again (or at least for a very long time) will also help. I just have to work on me and be the best mother to my son. This has turned me off of men completely. The increase in my symptoms is really making me crazy but I am hoping this overwelming feeling sadness goes away soon. Thanx again for asking...that was very nice of you.
 
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