I Just Don't Get It. Public Places.

[wildfirewildone]

:clap:I am sooooo HAPPY that you went to WalMart by yourself!!!:6: Pat yourself on the back and say 'Great Job, bec!!!!" You did what you needed to do and even though it took awhile to get yourself there on your own...you were able to use some coping skills to keep your anxiety at bay!!! :bighug: It doesn't matter how long it took to make the effort but that you did!!! I have problems from time to time leaving my apartment and so I know that your efforts were difficult....but you DID it!!!!:biggrin:Keep up the good work!!!...PEACE FOR THE PLANET

 

[Grama-Herc]

AUGH!!! Leaving the house is sometimes the most difficult part of this agoraphobia. I have begun to plan trips to walmart when it is the most conjested with people. I do concentrate on what I need to get, get it, THEN I wonder through the isles until I begin to panic. I then force myself to go wait in line for check out. I have however learned to use the self serve so I can leave if I get to freaked out. I also have finally gotten over being embarrassed by the severe sweating I have when in the panic mode. People in line stare at this woman in line with sweat drippin off her chin and her hair line. I do sweat profusly when in an attack so I know they think "What the H--L is wrong with me. But it is my way of pushing myself. So far seems to be working. Unfortunately, I pushed myself to far the last time and am suffering the consequences. Can't leave the house. Simply can't The thought sends me into a sweating tailspin. So I will ride this wave out and restart my trips when I'm able. Just hope I don't run out of anything important within the next few days 3 CHEERS FOR TRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

It really does get better as you get healthier ladies....I too was like everyone else. Would rather use newspaper than have to go to the store. LOL!!!!!!!! God I hated it......It does get better. I can shop now without the panic mode setting in. I don't LOVE to shop, but I don't hate it either anymore....

Wen

 

[fin]

you know I can feel my anxiety levels rising just reading a couple of posts here. Sorry folks, it me...

I did the same thing She Cat, I think just 2 days now with newspaper, I finally got myself out today to my really really local shop and bought some...almost forgot what I had gone in there for tho'.

And I have to say I could not move quick enough getting back. But I did it-today and I am trying to feel real good about it.

Supermarkets I sometimes have to just park up my shopping and get oustide. I have sometimes gone home without it, but generally I try to get back in and finish the whole check out bit. I think my local store maybe knows me by now ...when I ask to park my trolley they are cool. And just sometimes getting away from everyone and the closeness of it is enough to get me through. It helps tho' to go with some I trust that knows me also. I am not 100% sure of what I am going to do anymore on that front now my care asst. has left. BUt right now so long as the dog and cat have food and i have something in somehow...then we will manage.

It has to get easier -it is encouraging to read She Cat that you have found it does...thankyou for posting that there. i have had one real good experience in I don tknow a couple or more years...out shopping and that was a couple of weeks back now. And it meant that I was not freaking out, but I did when i got home (which was a bummer). But I am hoping for more. I can see that it has been a while since this thread was started, I hope that everyone is still all cool with it or getting there and finding something of what we are learning is helping. I know I have found myself changing some and I can only hope it will get better for me also, I do know it will take time and I also know I will have hit and miss days but hey it beats the alternative.


oh and I dont really know what I would do if I was told I couldn't park my shopping and get out, I like to think I would just walk out rather than loosing my cool and completely flipping out, but it is always there by the time i have to get out of those places. It does drive me nuts and I often screw up so badly...I think Herc is right ...make a list stick to it and get out as quick as possible.

Oh and go out of hours also...I mean out of the normal peak time for the place being packed out..that has helped me some. And maybe pace yourself a bit. (although I do try this also)

oh god and yes...just getting out through the door.
I use to a couple of years back- get or rather ask, a friend or my ex rather to drop me in town -first thing in the morning, before, on his way to work...before it got busy...then I would try to get back myself...I stopped this but it did help me keep going a little while longer- before the crash came for me. So..

 

[Blues in NYC]

I like parks. City parks that are clean and well kept. At least once a week, on good days when the weather is good I like trying to get to one. But when they are crowded it can get a bit hard for me. At the same time, on good days, seeing people in the park taking care of each other is a good reminder. Like so many here, I have trouble trusting other people. I also have trouble trusting myself. These little vignettes of care and even tenderness are similar to reading symptom threads here on this board. When I see someone in a wheelchair, with a cane or in a stroller and someone else helping them do the basic stuff in life, I don't feel so alone. This restores my faith in the world just a little bit. One small brick at a time.

But I've never liked malls. They've always felt like places where life is a bit too truncated. The lights. The constant bombardment from marketers which is a form of insidious psychological warfare. No. No malls for me.

If I need to budget my energies, I'm saving mine for an outing to the park. I feel a bit human in the park with the flowers, trees, clouds and squirrels.

 

[CaptainR]

I thought I was gonna be the only man to post in this thread, then I see Blues beat me to it...

I was thinking about this and it seemed that crowded places don't bother me much most times, but then I realized that it may be because I always have a gun on me. So my time in a mall is spent watching my wife and daughter(s) shop while I hang back and keep on guard for trouble.

I can understand the anguish over crowds and feeling vulnerable when I recall the times in the past few years when I attended big league ball games where I couldn't carry a gun or a knife, and it was a serious stressor. It was a hard choice to make - to miss something that I really wanted to partake in - or go in what felt like a naked, vulnerable state.

So, I'm not sure if I'm even on track here. I'll go most anywhere if I'm allowed to be armed. If it's the rare place that restricts that right - well, I definitely have to be highly motivated and psyched up to pull that off...

 

[Lucky Laser]

I like public places at times just because I feel less lonely. Its the same feeling I get when I was a kid and I used to be afraid of thunder in the middle of the night, and I would turn on the radio or TV to feel like someone was with me. At the same time, there is the crowd anxiety that crops up if things get too crowded... so its kind of a balance for me.

 

[Claire]

I always have a gun on me

I find this a bit disturbing. Do most people walk around with a gun on them in America? I had always imagined you had them in the house more than on you.

It makes sense that YOU feel safer this way as you are still guarding but I'm not sure I would feel so good! It would make me feel even less safe in a shopping centre if I thought everyone had a gun.

 

[fin]

Claire feeling this unsafe is pTSD, and it is NOT only in America are people armed to the teeth to get out, we have it here in the UK also. And you only have to switch on the news to know what is happening all around us.

It is difficult, but I want to stress here to you Captain, I would try to get your pTSD under a little more control and try to stop carrying that gun around, because while you might think it helps oyu feel safe and stay in control, I do believe that is a placebo. It is a fallacy in my opinion that oyu need or have to carry that weapon around with you. It wont help oyu stay safe -it may actaully endanger you further. Learning to manage PTSD will be what will help you get out into public places. Leaving it unmanaged and carrying a concealed weapon I would have thought could actually leave you and your family much more vulnerable.

But I do understand what you are saying.

Take care
~fin

 

[CaptainR]

Claire and Fin,

I apologize for not being clear in my post. Sometimes I forget to include what could be pertinent information. I carry the gun, always, because I also carry a badge - I've been a cop for 24 years now and it is just second nature to me. With the level of random violence that seems to be increasing and increasing, I don't know if I could live with myself if something happened while I was nearby and I wasn't able to help someone in need because I wasn't fully prepared by being properly equipped.

I've been involved in a serious shooting incident and hope never to be involved in another. But as horrific as the experience is, even seventeen years later, I still feel the need to be ready to fight against evil or criminal violence against myself, my family, or against anyone I'm able to protect from it.

Sorry to have knocked the thread off course.

 

[fin]

I really dont think you knocked the thread off course at all Captain, thankyou for sharing this with us. I appreciate the different perspective, and I am sure you are not alone in what you have felt about being ready to do something, I understand this, a slightly different viewpoint but I do understand what you have said.

 

[Claire]

Thanks for the clarification CaptainR!