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I Just Finished A Year Of Emdr.
- Thread starter PerfectlyFlawed
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PerfectlyFlawed
Silver Member
Thank you everyone!
AngelKeeperJ
Sponsor
I have an awesome T and that makes all the difference!!
What EMDR did for me: Be patient, it's a long story.
My little girl passed away 19 years ago tomorrow, and for the first 5 years, I would have flashbacks to the moment she stopped breathing. We knew from her birth that she would not live out a normal life. They said she 'might' live until 3 years old. Well, she lived for 11 years!
When she was born, I had asked God for 2 things. One, that I be with her when she passed, and the other was for her to pass quickly, not hooked up to machines. I had to institutionalize her when she was about 2 years old because she was a 24/7 'job', and I was 'sinking' in despair, and I had a son who was a year and a half older. It was a choice I thought I could never make. But she was sick ALL the time.
The institution was going to close, and she went to a foster home that was only one hour away, versus the 4 hours she had been for 9 years. I couldn't take her because I had to work full-time, and she was a "2-person lift", and I couldn't lift her alone.
She got sick almost immediately and her care went from excellent to horrible, which I would find out 6 months after her death. She died just a little over 3 months out of the hospital.
The flashbacks I had were of those last moments, holding her, and whispering to her about how much I loved her and how much I would miss her. Those moments were engraved into my soul.
That sad, sad, recurring memory was the first one we addressed in EMDR. 'We' created a new memory that we 'implanted' into my mind that I can still 'bring up' when I need to.
My 'new' memory is of her ascending into a blue, blue sky, holding Jesus' hand. She is turned slightly towards me, and looking back, waving. She is saying..."thanks Momma for loving me and sharing me". I can 'see' it as clear as I remember the night she died. She blessed SO many people in her short life, even without the ability to talk.
We 'reprocessed' that bad, sad event, into a visual that I created myself. I believe it is how it happened, I just needed EMDR to help me 'see' it.
Obviously, it has changed my life. Even though I discovered the truth 6 months after she passed, that 'memory' still comforts me. If she hadn't been moved closer, it could never have happened that way. I could never have gotten to her in time.
All said, it is important to know how long the practitioner has been doing EMDR, and there has to be a trust between the therapist and client.
It takes courage to think 'outside the box' but I needed something different than 'just talking' about her. I was blessed, and it worked!
Thanks for bringing it up. This will help me process tomorrow!
What EMDR did for me: Be patient, it's a long story.
My little girl passed away 19 years ago tomorrow, and for the first 5 years, I would have flashbacks to the moment she stopped breathing. We knew from her birth that she would not live out a normal life. They said she 'might' live until 3 years old. Well, she lived for 11 years!
When she was born, I had asked God for 2 things. One, that I be with her when she passed, and the other was for her to pass quickly, not hooked up to machines. I had to institutionalize her when she was about 2 years old because she was a 24/7 'job', and I was 'sinking' in despair, and I had a son who was a year and a half older. It was a choice I thought I could never make. But she was sick ALL the time.
The institution was going to close, and she went to a foster home that was only one hour away, versus the 4 hours she had been for 9 years. I couldn't take her because I had to work full-time, and she was a "2-person lift", and I couldn't lift her alone.
She got sick almost immediately and her care went from excellent to horrible, which I would find out 6 months after her death. She died just a little over 3 months out of the hospital.
The flashbacks I had were of those last moments, holding her, and whispering to her about how much I loved her and how much I would miss her. Those moments were engraved into my soul.
That sad, sad, recurring memory was the first one we addressed in EMDR. 'We' created a new memory that we 'implanted' into my mind that I can still 'bring up' when I need to.
My 'new' memory is of her ascending into a blue, blue sky, holding Jesus' hand. She is turned slightly towards me, and looking back, waving. She is saying..."thanks Momma for loving me and sharing me". I can 'see' it as clear as I remember the night she died. She blessed SO many people in her short life, even without the ability to talk.
We 'reprocessed' that bad, sad event, into a visual that I created myself. I believe it is how it happened, I just needed EMDR to help me 'see' it.
Obviously, it has changed my life. Even though I discovered the truth 6 months after she passed, that 'memory' still comforts me. If she hadn't been moved closer, it could never have happened that way. I could never have gotten to her in time.
All said, it is important to know how long the practitioner has been doing EMDR, and there has to be a trust between the therapist and client.
It takes courage to think 'outside the box' but I needed something different than 'just talking' about her. I was blessed, and it worked!
Thanks for bringing it up. This will help me process tomorrow!
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