I Just Wan't Some Sleep Pretty Please.

[Fadeaway]

@SheilaKathy We just completed 6 weeks of couples therapy. he made a lot of promises and talked about how supportive he was...

Everything that he agreed to he conveniently doesn't remember or he twists around. For example, today, I said "In a relationship, how much physical affection per day would you consider adequate?" We spent the next four hours arguing over me supposedly saying, I think his moral character is inadequate." He kept saying, "You just don't think I am good enough, that I am inadequate."

I kept repeating over and over that I not only was not making character judgments about him. I was asking his opinion about something and I never said the word INadiquite, I said ADIQUITE.

 

[Changing4Best]

I think maybe you need more couple's councelling and this time get his agreements in writing and signed and sign yours too, of course! Good luck.

 

[StarChild]

he made a lot of promises and talked about how supportive he was...

Did he do that in front of the therapist, or later on at home?

I kept repeating over and over that I not only was not making character judgments about him

Spent the rest of the night trying to tell him i never said he was doing it wrong.

I think I see a pattern here; He seems to seek and gain some sort of control over you, with his word-twisting games. And by desperately trying to disprove his statements, a) you and your needs get totally lost, and b) he then really holds power over you... - I wonder though... What would happen, when you would stop taking part in his psycho games? What if you would act completely different? Maybe act surprised, like "Oh darling (or whatever), you're just to smart for me. How did you figure out so quick my true intentions? Oh what a poor fellow you are!" and then remove yourself from the situation immediately. Or just something like "Yeah, you're right, poor beggar!" And remove yourself from the situation.

Maybe my suggestions are totally stupid, then please just ignore them. But what I'm trying to say is, what would happen, if you would stop to try to convince him = giving him power over you, and just try to not care about his mind games? As I feel, that in almost desperately fighting for his understanding, care, love or whatever you need, you're making yourself even more vulnerable and dependent on him. And I can't help but think, that he's enjoying these situations he creates. What do you think of it?

Oh, and please, don't think that I'm judging you, as I clearly don't. I just tried to put in words what my heart feels, when reading about your situation in several of your threads.

 

[Fadeaway]

I am trying, I just suck at it.

 

[StarChild]

...? Did my post make you feel sad @Fadeaway? If yes, could you try to express, what exactly made you sad?