I Just Want To Be Anon

[Popcorn and Cheese]

I know this is a very broad posting forum topic but I just wish to be anonymous, so I'm here. I feel alone, abandoned, and ignored. No matter what I do, nothing is good enough. I don't want to be overly out there and seen. I just don't want me to be ignored if I do something or say something. The urges (self harm) are very present with me right now. Ugh. It will be a long night for me fighting these, unless I cave in...sounds good right now.

 

[Nadeg]

Your profile name makes me hungry. ha Self mutilation will accomplish little, honestly. I have cut in the past, on many occasions, but ultimately all I got out of it was these arm scars that I will carry for the rest of my life.

 

[Popcorn and Cheese]

I never leave scars, Idk. I just am super careful about it I would like to believe. I know it doesn't do much data later, but in the moment..feels...just feels..it helps.

 

[Ecuneb]

..feels...just feels..it helps.

I had gotten to the point where I felt very little to nothing while cutting. It was like I was cutting dead, lifeless leather or something. I have a very high pain threshold anyway, but I should have felt something. May be one of the reasons that I stopped doing it. You will eventually scar yourself if you cut deep enough. There is really no way around it. Cutting is a self destructive coping mechanism that needs to be controlled.

 

[Popcorn and Cheese]

I have a low pain tolerance so maybe that's why I never leave scars because I don't go deep. Idk, it's just hard to verbally or express other ways how I feel..

 

[Ihacu]

I understand. It is still self destructive, and can lead to much deeper cuts in the future. Trust me

 

[Vogese]

You are now not being ignored.
You have feelings. They come and go. You can observe yourself having the feeling, breathe in feeling it, breathe out feeling it.

It will pass whether you cut or do not. But cutting builds a tolerance, as well I know.
Walking, doing pushups or calisthenics, screaming, crying, and writing are some of the ways to get past a wave of emotion.

Was there an external reason for you to have these feelings, and if so, what was it?

 

[Popcorn and Cheese]

Ihacu. - Yeah, I know :/

Vogese - I feel ignored I'm so many ways and different situations. External feeling? Yeah there was...id rather not share :/