I Know Another One.

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I appreciate the remarks guys she was my best supporter. I did bite the hand that fed me. I didn't want to. The monster will go to all means to destroy me and it almost has. I can relate to what Robin Williams did. Depression sucks. Thank God for the VA meds. She is going through stuff with her own demons. She is dealing with a lot and I broke her heart. Yes there has been a lot of telling me how she feels and I understand I hurt her I broke her heart. None of th s was intentional though. But I don't want her to look badly at all. Wish there was as ite as good as this for people with civilian or past marital PTSD. It would be beneficial. I am taking care of me. I love her but I accept if she walks away forever as sad as it is its what is meant to be. If he wants to talk I will be here if she wants to one back My arms are wide open. But most of all I am finally fixing me.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I would like to apologise if I made her to look bad. I appreciate all of the advice and it helps a lot. I just was wrong pointing the finger st her. This is my demon to deal e with I appreciate the help she did give me. I want to get out of focusing on the bad all of the time. It's time for change or die trying.

 

[combatgoldfish]

You'll notice time and time again you'll be the only person left standing when the dust settles. To really work on yourself, you MUST focus 100% of your time on you. Being single allows that.

Stay the f*cking course and don't forget you're f*cking awesome

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Thanks brother

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Attila I am so happy you have a wife that strong. Hopefully someday I will have the same be It J or someone else. Thank you for the inspiration

 

[dutchiedelta]

It's not about her being bad Thomas.
It's probably about the lady not being able to understand what PTSD is and what it means.

Not her fault. Not your fault for blowing a gasket.

This is your life!
You're new on the path to (partial) recovery and some partners can take it, others can't.
If she can, it takes balls of brass on her part.
If she can't, no blaming her.
But you might want to think about her limitations as a human being as well before you ask too much of her.

 

[Raven]

It seems like your ex is trying to make the separation things harder, not easier.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Raven I promised not to point fingers at her or say bad things. Its starting to effect my health. I just want peace.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I am stopping the bashing and banter. She is a good person. Maybe. She just can't handle it with her own PTSD maybe we just trigger each other too much. But this was my monster I didn't lasso it in. Its not hers to contain. I wanted a life with her. But accept its just not to be right now until we both make changes. I am starting the change already. I hope she has. Thanks for listening everyone but I don't want everyone thinking bad of J. This was me and my monster.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Everything I have written on here has been used against me as ammunition for her to v continue her hatred of me. I am now afraid to write anything. Even the past few post were blown back in my face as me singling her out. I didn't use a name or say any specifics but she knew I was talking about her. I really hope I can use this site to express my concerns and feelings. I really enjoy being able to blow off my steam on here.

 

[atilla]

Sorry Brother none of us intend to bash her, but you are a fellow warrior, and it's just in our nature to defend our own. We understand what you are going through and I hope it all works out in the future. Stay strong.

 

[Raven]

If you shouldn't say negative things about her, then she shouldn't say negative things about you. It's a two way road. Also, she shouldn't be e-stalking you if she's really done with you. It sounds like you're not the only one having trouble letting go.