I May Or May Not Be Engaged.

[tho9900]

as you can see you are famous here! lol we've had quite a time on your thread! Sorry about what happened... I really am.. I think your decision was a wise one.. You weren't foolish believe me.. one, I have done stupid.. it's nothing like what happened with you... foolish is what ends u up in the hospital with 14 surgeries ahead of you...

Two, and I think I sent you this in a msg.... but:
"50 years from now when you look back at your life don't you want to say you had the guts to get in the car??" (Transformers)

Well you got in it, it broke down, but you did it.. everything we do in life is a learning experience even if it hurts.. if this is it move on, but always hold the good things with you... if you feel being drawn back remember the bad..

Glad to see ya back.... I'll PM u, got a lot of catching up to do with you lol....

 

[Raven]

I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't heartbroken. After I got home, my playlist hit this song:

Adele knows how to sing a torch song that hits below the belt. I haven't heard it in months and months, and then it came on today. I just broke down. Years from now, will I look back and wish I hadn't given up on him? What will he think? He said to me that he'd fight for me no matter what, that he'd fight for a discharge. He's so far away and I should have known better than to let him under my skin like that. Normally I'm soulless when it comes to these things but once in a while there's a man who is able to completely wreck all of my defenses and Gary's one of them.

And I don't know how to tell him that no matter what, he'll never be my bird. I let my bird fly away too. Or I threw him away. I don't know.

 

[tho9900]

that's a very powerful song, and it echoes in me... wow... I got more to say but have to listen to the song again and digest it...

 

[JarHed]

Hey Raven

Everyone has regrets in this life. No one is exempt. I always think of the 'what if's'. There is someone from my past that I last saw more than 20 years ago. There probably isn't a day that passes that I don't think about her. You make the decisions that you do and try to move on. It's never easy, but sometimes it's the best we can hope for.

Jar

 

[Tim Cake]

Onward and upward, Raven. Keep working at life until you are happy, then coast for a while and enjoy that hard-earned happiness!

 

[Sarg]

Hi ya, gorgeous! Glad to see ya back. Look, from an old man, love tangles the straightest web. It hurts. That means you're more alive. My love has been gone seven years and it still hurts. But you move on. One foot in front of the other, that's all we can do.

Love from an old fart.

Sarg

 

[Tim Cake]

Keep on trudging forward Raven....

 

[Wagon]

You did good Raven. Doing the right thing hurts sometimes. Besides you don't want to be called a Wespac Widow, because that's what they would call you.

Peace and Hang Tough
Wagon.

 

[Raven]

...And why do I let myself keep getting pulled back in?

The fact he keeps gushing about how much he wants to marry and spend his life with me is really sweet, though scary at the same time. And every time I pick a fight about something, he whines that I'm pushing him away and then he'll either declare that he'll never give up on me, or he'll threaten to kill himself.

I don't know if it's the type of man I'm drawn to or the type of man I attract, but every one of my serious boyfriends has been balls-to-the-wall about this crap.

Why shouldn't passion trump common sense for a little while? I foresee a fiery wreck in the future, but I'll survive it.

 

[Wagon]

My shrink made me think about that. Had me compare all my long term relationships.

Guess what....the Beast dictated everyone, every character type......because I've had the Beast since I was 20 and I'm 44 now and the bastard has steered me towards one certain type even though I would very much welcome something else AND am attracted to a different type of woman. Go figure.

Kind of a crappy looking back at the same exact mistake repeated over and over. Do yourself a favor. Try to not make the same mistake again. Be an adult and make the improvement.

You know what the great thing about finding out that I had PTSD is. I'm no longer an emotional 19 year old when it comes to relationships.

So your penultimate question is "Why shouldn't passion trump common sense for a little while?"

Because you know it's wrong....it's not fair to the other person, it hurts the other person and it will hurt you..survive or not. Why not quit f*cking up and improve? Isn't that what we are all here for?

 

[JarHed]

The statement; 'those that don't learn from the past are destined to repeat it', is a totally rational statement. It doesn't factor in any emotional content. The fact is that people are governed more by their own emotions than by logic. Knowing we shouldn't do something doesn't mean we won't.

In a way you have to look into yourself to see why it is that you are either attracted to a specific type of man or that you attract a specific type of man. The answers lie within.

 

[CAFTT0607]

Raven

I haven't said much about this but the boy has issues, ok? He is codependent. He is totally dependent on you for his worth. In other words, he has tragically low self esteem. It is your choice, but I would cut and run. He is going to continue to cling and seek your approval. Ya can't change him. He has to do that. I am sure he has his good qualities too, but his overwhelming codependence is his core character. Anyway, hope I didn't piss you off. That wasn't the inten. You may ask how I know this...honestly, I used to be the same way...for years. I recognize all the signs. Thankfully that is all behind me, like years ago. I am a much better man now but early on I was a codependent clingy pain in the ass. It isn't easy for me to admit that but I wanted you to know I was not talking out my ass. Anyway, take it for what it is worth...just trying to help.