I messed up my job..

[alienplantnapper]

So I had to leave work early Friday because i had some really weird ptsd related anxiety issues that actually caused me to vomit (a first). Saturday i had to call in, and i was told id need a dr note. This morning i got embarrassed about everything and just couldn't bring myself to call or anything.. which is an auto let go.
( they do have documentation of my diagnosis) which is why the embarrassment. I get super embarrassed when i have freak outs at work, or if i can't make it because of this thing. I feel like ppl are thinking that im being stupid and that i don't make any sense and i feel bad for letting them down.
So.. now i have to seek another job and im now afraid for anyone to know about the ptsd and im worried about holding work without anyone finding out.
I guess im just venting..i feel really irresponsible rn.. like i did something really wrong and im fighting that voice again.

 

[blackemerald1]

@alienplantnapper have you confirmed for certain that you have been fired? Is it still possible to get the certificate and call your employer? If you can please call your doctor and get an appointment. Even an after hours appointment may help.

You may be able to still return to this employer because they do have the documentation of your diagnosis. Possibly your doctor can explain to your employer you were physically ill as well as suffering from PTSD.

You may have vomited for another reason. Are you sure it was PTSD/anxiety alone? Being ill and having PTSD is the pits and illness can complicate PTSD symptoms. If you are having such severe anxiety you may need to get some treatment anyway.

I feel like ppl are thinking that im being stupid and that i don't make any sense and i feel bad for letting them down.

Another reason you should seek some treatment. You cannot know what ppl are thinking bc you cannot read minds.

I'm sure you are far from stupid but yes you haven't done yourself or your employer any justice in this instance.

I hope you feel much better soon.

 

[alienplantnapper]

Thank you...i feel like i can't just run to the e.r. every time i freak out though..for one, its a lot of money.. For two, they're just going to tell me to take my meds..i have a therapist and a psych dr.
And I'm sure it was just nausea from anxiety stuff because it happened again following memories, ect.
I currently see my therapist weekly so i don't think i need to seek more treatment..
It may be possible to get a note from my therapist for this employer, but honestly im too embarrassed to face them again.
It won't be hard for me to find another job.. Im just tired of this thing following me.

 

[Changing4Best]

I would try to face up to it and handle it, rather than get another job. It will just follow you to the new job, and the same things can happen there that have happened at this job.

 

[blackemerald1]

Yes, totally agree with @SpiritSong ^^ Face up to this behaviour & symptoms before it becomes a pattern.

Keeping a job and some stability with an employer is a good goal to keep.

 

[alienplantnapper]

So, I spoke with a manager about what happened. And ive decided to take a couple of weeks to get my meds right (i had been taking half the prescribed dose for a while now).
It may be possible i could go back there once my meds are adjusted and im having less episodes. Or, maybe its time for a change in work environment.
Ive just been dealing with this the most (ptsd) for a few months and haven't really given in at therapy yet. I guess its a good time to start really trying to do the work and feel the feelings.
Ill just try to utilize my little period of free time to get better.