I Need Support - Anxiety Out Of Control

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Josh77

Confident
anthony,
You're right... I couldn't have known that she would kill herself that night. I guess it's just that I wish I did have a crystal ball that night!!
Let me ask you a question Anthony... Is OCD my way of dealing with the anxiety and fear of my traumatic events? So, could it also be true that my primary diagnosis is PTSD and that the Bipolar and OCD stem from the PTSD?
Also, I will post a new thread about the issue of certain prescription meds that I'm taking and basically their effect on my PTSD... please read it and give me your experience... if you can answer the questions above, you can send me a private message if you would like to or answer them here, if you can.
 

anthony

Founder
Josh77 said:
Is OCD my way of dealing with the anxiety and fear of my traumatic events? So, could it also be true that my primary diagnosis is PTSD and that the Bipolar and OCD stem from the PTSD?
Josh, the bipolar I am not sure about. The OCD though is just another doctor over labelling in order to justify giving prescription drugs, then getting a kickback for it. Read the thread I posted a while back on [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread1097.html[/DLMURL], which will give you an idea of all the actual labels as such, that PTSD encompass.

OCD isn't really a way of dealing with anxiety and fear, it is more caused by anxiety and fear. It is a bi-product if you like, of anxiety. When your anxious, what is a normal reaction? Check things, fidget, play with something, distract yourself. Doctors think it is OCD in its actual form, but when you actually read the diagnosis of OCD, the deciding factor to actually having the disorder, is that your compulsions literally stop you from functioning day to day, for example: in order to go to work, you compulsively check the house 5 times, then you make your way to the car, you have to check and recheck 4 times, then you have to drive a specific way, on the way, you can't remember if you checked the back door, so you return home and check the house another 5 times, then the car 4 times, etc etc... that is OCD by definition from the DSM.

People with PTSD present themselves in front of some doctors, and they go label crazy... when infact, all the problems are actually caused from PTSD, not OCD, agoraphobia, major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, etc etc etc. It is often the doctor who is just stupid, labels a person with everything uniquely and wonders why they don't get better (which could be the point for them), or they get kickbacks from the drug companies for the amount of medications they prescribe, hence they use lots of labels to justify lots of drugs. If they said you had PTSD and they wanted you to take 6 drugs, you would be curious. If they gave you 3 - 4 diagnosis, then said you need 6 drugs, you would not be as curious.

Its not a conspiracy theory or the like, it is just fact that doctors get kickbacks from drug companies for prescription medications. Not all, but some choose to take them, thus they generate more revenue for them, with little regard to the patient.
 
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anthony

Founder
Now you have come to terms with the crystal ball aspect, think about it please Josh, and when you have doubt, think about exactly what you just said to me above, I couldn't have known that she would kill herself that night, because its the truth.
 

Josh77

Confident
Anthony,
The symptoms that you described for OCD fit me exactly though... I check and recheck 16 times... I leave the house and go back in and check everything again... I finally get in my car (after checking and rechecking the car) and I drive away, but go back and check... I always double back when driving because I have obsessive thoughts that I hit someone with my car and didn't realize it, so I double back and check for a body along my route!!!! It's crazy and painful!!!!!!!
 

anthony

Founder
Then that is actually OCD then Josh, uniquely from PTSD. So your doctor got it right for once. Often they give OCD with PTSD because PTSD comes with obsessions in order to fight past anxiety. OCD by itself is still curable mate, don't panic about that one. Your therapist can certainly cure OCD for you.
 
D

Deleted member 93

Anthony, you know your shit inside out no doubt. Maybe you can help me here too understand. But are you sure this is OCD stading alone? Not from PTSD? We both know I have more lables than I can count from it being PTSD. OCD one of many. I know it is actually PTSD as it was not so bad until my last crash a year and a half ago. I used to be beyond a clean freak but that was abuse "training". Not so clean now.

Thing is the rechecking locks, going back and forth, ovens, irons, locks, and the one thing pointed out... drive back to that bump and make sure you did not hit someone, I have no idea how many times I have turned around to make sure I did not or make hubs if I was not looking at the road while he drove. An occasional possum was it, or most often a bump in the road. There are some things I am beyond anal on but they (docs) say my OCD aspect is mild compared to the rest and mainly centered on people doing things my way like sweeping... (I learn to close my eyes as I got my ass kicked if not done proper) I have my routes and routines driving... I do not know I would say OCD clearly if the diagnosis came with the PTSD. The OCD can I know be PTSD if it came on at the same time. What are your thoughts? Still learning here.
 

Josh77

Confident
veiled,
i'm glad that you posted!! Maybe we can get this question answered for the both of us because i, too, am confused... the earliest time that i remember checking and rechecking things was after the violence started in my home when i was 11 years old. Anthony, any thoughts? or do you think that this question, in my case, is unanswerable at this point in my healing?
 
D

Deleted member 93

This much I can tell you Josh. If the OCD aspect is truly PTSD at play it will improve with healing. Thing is it takes time to see. You will start to get some of you anxiety levels down and not be so repetitive. I really felt like the fixing OCD is like the chicken or egg first? Because on one hand I was driving myself crazy over some areas like the locks and in turn making me more anxious. But as I healed some (and I am no where close to finished) and learned how to cope and address issues while medicated... Once I did I forgot to lock my door, I was not so repetitive. I have let my house turn into a pig pen LOL, as I have a house full of kids and right now I have bigger fish to fry than riding my kids to pick up their crap. I am picking my battles and ones I can handle. Clean house is low on the list. It is not filthy, but it sure as hell has laundry, colors, papers tossed to the four winds!

So stick around and in time you will be able to see if that is the case with you.

The Bi-Polar. When was that diagnosed? Forgive my curiosity. I was diagnosed that before PTSD. I was also told by other doctors the diagnosis was way off for me. But I did seem to cycle. Thing was in my cycles there were never points of feeling exceptionally well, I wish I had at some point. I would recover a little and function and hit a new low each round for years on end. Until I hit my last low which was just an all out breakdown I have not recovered from but doing better. I still cannot work and have the agoraphobic aspect to the extreme. (I am where the crazy lady who is locked in her house with cats story came from LOL)

No form or fashion or even implying you are not bi polar, but it just jumped out at me and I am nosey since I was misdiagnosed with it at one point.
 

Terry

MyPTSD Pro
Hey Josh, just checking on ya.and Veiled we are all a little nosey. I think if we wer'nt we'd be crazy.
 

Josh77

Confident
This much I can tell you Josh. If the OCD aspect is truly PTSD at play it will improve with healing. Thing is it takes time to see. You will start to get some of you anxiety levels down and not be so repetitive. I really felt like the fixing OCD is like the chicken or egg first? Because on one hand I was driving myself crazy over some areas like the locks and in turn making me more anxious. But as I healed some (and I am no where close to finished) and learned how to cope and address issues while medicated... Once I did I forgot to lock my door, I was not so repetitive. I have let my house turn into a pig pen LOL, as I have a house full of kids and right now I have bigger fish to fry than riding my kids to pick up their crap. I am picking my battles and ones I can handle. Clean house is low on the list. It is not filthy, but it sure as hell has laundry, colors, papers tossed to the four winds!

So stick around and in time you will be able to see if that is the case with you.

The Bi-Polar. When was that diagnosed? Forgive my curiosity. I was diagnosed that before PTSD. I was also told by other doctors the diagnosis was way off for me. But I did seem to cycle. Thing was in my cycles there were never points of feeling exceptionally well, I wish I had at some point. I would recover a little and function and hit a new low each round for years on end. Until I hit my last low which was just an all out breakdown I have not recovered from but doing better. I still cannot work and have the agoraphobic aspect to the extreme. (I am where the crazy lady who is locked in her house with cats story came from LOL)

No form or fashion or even implying you are not bi polar, but it just jumped out at me and I am nosey since I was misdiagnosed with it at one point.

I don't know when i developed bipolar, but was diagnosed with Bipolar-Affective Disorder in the State Psych Hospital in...... 1998. I was committed there for 3 months and they really kept an eye on my behavior and they at first said that i had Psychotic Disorder N.O.S. (Not Otherwise Specified) and Mood Disorder N.O.S., or schizo-affective[WRONG].... it wasn't until my last hospitalization (2 week vacation, LOL) that they pinpointed it to Bipolar-Affective Disorder. Sorry if I'm being confusing, but i can't think to clearly right now... sorry. The short answer is that i was diagnosed with some form of mood disorder( Bipolar) in 1998(when i was 20 or 21 years old) i can't quite remember... i know!! I turned 21 in the hospital so i was 21 when they diagnosed me.)

Josh
 

Josh77

Confident
Thanks for the concern and for the support, everyone!! It is much appreciated, and it helps a lot.

Josh
 

anthony

Founder
Veiled, what you mentioned in regard to your OCD, stands out to me being related to PTSD. What Josh said though, in that it really mucks with his life, stands out more as OCD itself. Yes, PTSD has an OCD component in it, and it can be severe depending on the level of anxiety. If a persons thoughts are simply just not coherent at the best of times because of anxiety, then OCD elements become present because we simply can't remember. OCD also becomes present because of fear, stemmed from our trauma. If your trauma was rape, or broken in too and beaten, then continual house checking, locks, etc is part of the fear, not really OCD itself.

When you cannot function in life though because you have to check, recheck, check again, turn around daily, recheck, get on route, then turn around again, recheck, etc... that is OCD, which is what Josh outlined for himself. Sure, it is caused by his trauma, but it is OCD the moment it absolutely stuffs with your life to the point when you cannot do things on any sort of timeline because your constant obsessions must be adhered first.

OCD itself, means that you have allocated time specifically prior to doing anything, for you to conduct your checks, rechecks, etc. Then you start moving to an appointment, but the obsession itself is more powerful than being at your appointment on time, you forget something, and have to return and do the entire routine over. OCD is not about doing something just once, ie. being a bit anal about security, how your cupboards are stacked and so forth, but it is about serious brain disturbance that you literally cannot function if things are not exactly the way they must be in order for you to achieve whatever your doing.

OCD though, is curable... so its not that big an issue really in the scheme of PTSD itself. If you heal trauma, your anxiety reduces. Once your anxiety reduces, your memory becomes more stable, you remember things more clearly, thus you no longer forget anything you have to do, thus any little obsessions no longer hinder your lifes progress to be somewhere, do something and so forth.

Here is the DSM IV [DLMURL="http://www.behavenet.com/capsules/disorders/o-cd.htm"]criteria of OCD[/DLMURL], and please take note that you need pretty much the entire page in order to actually have OCD.
 
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