Lostbear- My flashbacks occur in the same manner as yours. I am unaware of it coming on until I am in it, there is no time to stop them, nor has there been any trick or key to preventing them- other than to manage the triggers and other symptoms which decreased the number of flashbacks. There are times when this is not possible, a trigger is a trigger and some of the times you simply can not stop it from getting to you. For me, this is when my triggers begin to increase- when one trigger pops up and surprises me, or I develop a new trigger- this has an impact on the frequency of my flashbacks. The "spike periods" come and go.
I am sorry that you felt discomfort over the response that was given to you by your classmate, I can certainly relate. But let me just say one thing about it if I may. It is not easy to have any person ask you a question about your condition. Had this person been all sweet and kind and politically correct about it, it probably still would have offended you simply because it is a difficult topic. Instead she asked you something point blank.
She did not know, she wants to know, the only way to know is to ask. That is how we are taught to learn for ourselves. She did it directly, and it made you uncomfortable. But that does not mean that her intention was to do anything but to understand, or show concern or to assist. Some people can communicate extremely well, others not. That does not mean that those who do not communicate well have intentions of being mean or hurtful.
Part of living with PTSD is knowing that people do not understand what PTSD is and means, in general. Some know it well based on experience (as we all do here), but others in the real world, many have only seen the adaptation offered by hollywood. Believe me, the reality is much more pleasant than the Hollywoodized version. It is not easy to be thick skinned, but with PTSD you almost have to learn to do it. So that you can offer a genuine smile and reply with, ______________ (No, I am fine, but thank you for your concern. Yes I do have a problem, thank you for making me feel worse about it. Fill in the blank with whatever you see fitting)
Personally, I do not care if my PTSD triggers and symptoms m,ay have caused me to look bad. I really do not care one bit about what anyone thinks about me. Anyone worth my time will take the time to get to know me, and will be willing to ask me questions so that I may explain myself. And if their line of questioning seems inappropriate or hurtful, I remind myself that questions are a means to understanding. My responses can help people around me to understand that yes there is something wrong with me, no I do not need a doctor, and no I am not always like this.
And if it turns out that someone does not like me, or appreciate me, or understand me- my policy is to make the effort to be kind, compassionate, and understanding of them and myself. People will hold their opinions like a badge if honor, my opinion of myself just happens to be more important than what anyone else's opinion of me may be.
