I Need To Say This.

[Spock]

Here's a short story of an experience I had last saturday. A friend of mine's father passed away and the service and funeral was last week. ... My wife was crying and I know why, not for him specifically but for all the other soldiers that we've known and see so much about in the news. I held her hand as we sat there, now I was thinking about that as well. From the back of the room which was quiet now came the sound of a bugle playing Taps. I lost it, tears just streamed down my face. Not so much for the deceased but for all the men that I've known and also the ones that I see everyday that are lost over seas.

I was not bothered by how I felt or how I expressed it at that time. There was a time when I couldn't have done that even if I tried. So the emotions are in there maybe you just need the have the right 'day' for them come out. And if they are be glad that you have them.

Jar

Well said Jar. I've had the privilege to speak at a few vet occasions, mil retirement, etc. It is an adventure because I know I'll get choked up with emotion at key point(s) since therapy gave me permission to be real about combat; its experience & the challenges we vets carry thereafter. When I'm getting to the heart of the point I'm speaking about there is a moment where my eyes glass over or I must pause and the audience knows. It is no longer embarrassing, in fact, it is freeing and genuine. The audience get it and they show they better appreciate the person or honor the event and the burden I wanted to highlight. Peace

 

[vikingr12]

Spock, I knew that free feeling too. It has been a long while since I let myself even talk about anything. WHen I finally can, it is quite liberating.

I worked 4 years in a military hospital that specialized in the region for OB-GYN before I went formally into the military. We handled the normal emergencies as well. I worked in surgery and helped handle crisis/trauma pregnancies. Every time I see a pregnant woman now I make it a happy occasion when then it was really stressful to go through. Some women died. Couldn't stop the bleeding. Or their heart just gave out from the stress of birth. But I try and often do succeed to make it a happy occasion when I see a pregnant woman. Talking to them makes it come alive and reminds me I did a lot of good at one time.

And I talk to them about what I did. Every pregnant woman is concerned about how it will turn out, and I can tell them with experience that it will be OK. The sigh of relief and the real smile I get is reinforcing for me. It's almost like the dead have come to life. I like to think of it that way.