I Opened Up And Was Rejected..

[McCray]

I had been experiencing a flashback for a couple hours last night. So I decided to write a long message to my friend I feel safest with about what I am going through. He only very briefly knows I have ptsd. He saw the message hours ago but has not responded so I take that as rejection and it hurts :(

 

[TonyG]

It's very difficult to know how to reply to such a text, I had a similar situation with a friend on Facebook and he had just returned from deployment and had been drinking and told me a story about something that had happened and how he was feeling about it, I froze I didn't know what to say as I was worried my response would be the wrong thing to say, I have no training in dealing with someone in such a fragile state,
He doesn't know I am a sufferer, he just confided in me and I wasn't much help.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: @McCray

He saw the message hours ago but has not responded so I take that as rejection and it hurts

You can take it as rejection, but that is an interpretation. It's not known if this interpretation is fact or not.

I get emails and texts all the time that I open, and then respond to later. I often will check email on my phone while I am doing other things, like waiting for a bus, grocery shopping, etc. I mark the email or text as important, and then I respond when I can sit down and take time to respond with care. This would be especially true if someone sent me a text or email about very sensitive matters, like yours. Usually when I get something like that, I pick up the phone or respond in person, but it takes time to be in a place to do that.

Another interpretation of his lack of response is that he is waiting for when he can take time to respond fully, in writing or via other means, because he cares for you.

So much can be misinterpreted on email and text. Try to take this lightly and hold all interpretations of text/email lightly.

No matter what his reaction will be, you have taken a huge step to build up your support network, and you have that to be proud of. I hope he responds to you soon.

 

[Momofthree]

I know it's hard not to feel rejected but like @TonyG said it's hard to know what to say so you have to give him time to formulate a reply. Maybe send him another text asking if he has any advice or anything to say about what you said. Try to take a deep breath and give your friend the benefit of the doubt. I know I would be feeling rejected too, but it's probably all in your head. ((Hugs))

 

[digger]

There are a number of explanations for him not responding yet that don't include rejection. As has already been mentioned, most likely is he's taking time to get his thoughts together properly so he can respond sensitively. Depending on the nature of what you have disclosed to him, he may just not know what the best thing to say is, or how to say it. Perhaps it's not practical for him to respond right now. Perhaps he's surrounded by other people and doesn't think it would be appropriate to respond while he is or that he would be able to give the response the attention it needs. Perhaps he has some crisis of his own to deal with and needs to attend to that first. Perhaps he 'saw' it but hasn't actually had time to read it yet - 'marked as seen' could just mean that he opened the tab with your message on, doesn't mean he's necessarily read and digested it...
Lots of possibilities, give him a chance maybe before assuming the worst of him?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I agree, I think that you're interpreting this as rejection but that may not be the case. We deal with this crap every damn day, so in that sense we are desensitized to it all. This is all VERY new to your friend and as such, he may not know how to respond. Perhaps its time to pull out your CBT skills. Are you mind reading? Yes, I'd say so, as you are telling yourself that your friend is rejecting you but you don't know for sure. What are other explanations for him not responding? Maybe he has a VERY busy day and can't respond at this very moment. My suggestion is to give your friend time to respond, and if you don't hear from him within the next day, then call him and touch base with him. You could even say something about how you know you disclosed a lot of your personal struggles and how you know that it is a lot for others to take in, but you value his friendship and that's why you turned to him. If he flat out rejects you at that point, then you can take it as rejection. But until then, you don't know for sure.

 

[haltija]

It could be that he wants to reply in a sensitive and well thought out manner. I do this sometimes so that I can respond correctly, with compassion. You wrote something deep and meaningful to you, that takes a lot of consideration and empathy. When people can't relate to those emotions, they're going to need time to put themselves in your shoes to help you, because they care. It's a sensitive issue for you and needs to be handled gently.

You might be feeling rejected, but that's okay. It's good to understand that and to be honest with yourself about those feelings. Worst case scenario, screw it. You did your part and opened up. That's something to be proud of.

 

[Kintsugi]

@McCray I know you haven't been around for a few days, but when you get a chance, can we have an update on this? I'd love to be able to further support you with the situation now having time to develop further. Hope you're doing well. :)