Relationship I ruined my relationship and i can't get over it

[lostforgottensoul]

Well now Anthony has an article posted that speaks to this - how someone with PTSD often gets overwhelemed and stressed in the relstionship and so will jump from one relationship to another. I was just reading it the other day.

Yes, I do this...but I end the one I am in first. I can hop from one to the next in a day but always ending it first. PTSD may cause you to want to hop relationships and/or beds but it will not cause you to cheat. I am not saying that you are saying that but rather just making a statement.

Also, get off social media! If I could burn Facebook I would! If you are watching what he does and how he does it, you will have a very hard time moving on!

 

[Sunshine702]

I am done with social media. I know it doesn't help. I just wish someone could tell me how I could mean nothing instantly to a person who meant everything to me.

 

[EveHarrington]

It's PTSD emotional numbing. I think people have been trying to explain this? Feelings fall completely flat and we feel nothing.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Feelings fall completely flat and we feel nothing.

Which means he doesn't know what he feels about anything, including you. So he may be heads over heals for you still today but just not think he is because he cannot feel it.

 

[Sunshine702]

And there's nothing I can do about it but wait until he is able to figure things out on his own. This is the most heartbreaking, frustrating situation I have ever been in. I feel helpless.

 

[Sighs]

There is something you can do about it - work on moving on yourself.

This may sound harsh but I really think you dodged a bullet with this man. I'm sad that you miscarried, but at least you are not tied to him forever. My daughter's father was a serial cheat and I finally got rid of him after the third time I caught him. Sadly, I have had to still have him in the periphery of my life as we share a child.

You deserve better than this. Don't let him get away with it because of his PTSD. Its not an excuse.

PS - You should go and get a full STD check up. For your own peace of mind.

 

[LuckiLee]

It seems to me younger veterans do more of the relationship jumping....

My guy has had PTSD for almost 30 years. He had alot of short term relationships throughout the years. He wasn't in therapy. And the VA was just throwing meds at him.

I think with age he realized he finally needed to make some changes (he was in a really bad place with depression and thoughts of suicide). He called the VA crisis line. And is now taking PTSD seriously. Hallelujah!

I'm really sorry you're going through this. And I know you're heartbroken but you deserve better and until he takes his recovery seriously he won't change.
IMHO.

Good luck and hugs to you and your Veteran.

 

[Sunshine702]

Thanks everybody. As time has gone by I have realized I am better off. There really is a big difference between someone who has PTSD and someone who is just a jerk and uses his PTSD to try to get away with horrible things and I'm learning that as I move along. (And the first thing I did was get a full check up - who knows what he was doing behind my back.)