I See No Other Way

[Healing Reins]

I never thought I'd be back in this space again....of wanting to end my life but I'm back... Yay.

So basically I have to pass the state test in math writing and reading. I've passed it in both reading and writing but I can't seem to pass it in math. I graduate June 7th and I have to pass the test by then and if I don't I don't graduate. I have all my credits done, so all I need is the oaks. I know this might not seem like a big deal to you and it might seem stupid but I'm really bad at math and I'm getting to the point where I'm just done with everything and don't want to live anymore....like I have 3 chances to take the test and I've done the review and I do fine on the review but the questions are really hard. I can't seem to get thru it. I just don't feel like life will get any better. I honestly just want to be done. I don't want to like shoot myself or anything... I just can't continue living like this.

 

[Healing Reins]

And I know that probably none of this makes sense... I just need to know what to do about the thoughts of wanting to die. I can't call my therapist because I don't know her number and I don't want to talk to my parents because they will put me in a hospital...

 

[Hope4future]

First, please talk with an adult you trust and make sure you're safe. Secondly, I'm a teacher and I know about the oaks tests and please know there are alternative ways to prove your abilities in math. Talk with your teacher and your school counselor about it. Also know that you can take as much time as you need on each test.

Talk with your therapist about the stress and about ways to reduce test anxiety so that doesn't get in your way.

It's hard to hear when you feel hopeless, but this is a situation with multiple solutions, none of which involve killing yourself.

Talk about your suicidal thoughts, get support around the test, and be safe.

I'm sorry it's so hard.