I Think I Dissociated Yesterday And It Is Freaking Me Out

[Momto3chickadees]

I recently started back in therapy. I had my 2nd session of EMDR yesterday and during it new trauma came up that I was not aware of. Not that I'm aware of much that happened in my childhood to begin with. All of the abuse that I know about has been from flashbacks. Anyway this was new and really upset me. I finally pulled it together and we finished the session. All of a sudden I felt detached, like everything was far away from me and I felt like I was talking in slow motion. It completely freaked me out. I told my therapist and she said it sounded like I was trying to dissociate. I know from the flashbacks that I have dissociated as a child but this is the first time that this happened to me as an adult that I'm aware of. Now I'm afraid that it will happen again.

 

[gone]

I dissociate all the time around/during/after/as-a-result-of EMDR therapy, usually with dizziness, vertigo, and a feeling like my body is literally flying apart, legs and arms coming off). My T helped me create a grounding routine, pulling in all the senses. I carry a little stone that I picked out at a rock shop (one that resonated with me), then concentrate on feeling it in my hands when I'm dissociating. I carry a scent that I don't wear (a little tin of solid perfume) to sniff. I make noise (whistle, or, at home, a Tibetan bowl). I push down through my heels to get my energy to ground, then clasp and unclasp my hands. Also, I've added in on my own recipe: visualizing my core, that it's strong and grounded and steadying. Anyway, it's all hard, doesn't always work, but sometimes really does. I'm told it will get better/easier with practice.

 

[eav]

I dissociate all the time around/during/after/as-a-result-of EMDR therapy, usually with dizziness, vertigo, and a feeling like my body is literally flying apart

Me, too! So glad to hear someone else say this! I'm doing EMDR twice a week right now, and the dissociation is pretty intense.

 

[Lucycat]

I'm doing EMDR twice a week right now, and the dissociation is pretty intense.

That is interesting. The EMDR guidelines suggest that you should have a break of at least a week between sessions of EMDR because it is so intense. I am not surprised that you are finding it difficult.

I would be interested to know why your T has chosen this route? Is it part of his/her normal protocol and how does he find the results compare with less frequent sessions?

Dissociation does get better the further you get down the therapy route for sure. I don't do it very often at all now. But in any case it is not something I am in the slightest fearful of, as I feel it is part of my normal.

 

[gone]

I'm also doing EMDR twice weekly at the moment and was told by my therapist that twice is 'optima.l' (I asked for twice--she didn't offer--because I can't work right now anyway and because before I got this new therapist I was stuck in the Kaiser system doing nothing for 4 months.) Often, for me, the first session of the week opens the gnarly doors and the next one spends more time assessing the effects of that and strengthening my resources...

 

[eav]

That is interesting. The EMDR guidelines suggest that you should have a break of at least a week between sessions of EMDR because it is so intense. I am not surprised that you are finding it difficult.

I am not sure why twice a week--I'm just trusting my therapist. I find it especially hard when we don't finish with a memory in the two sessions and I have to wait through the weekend. I think if I just had one session a week, I would have a hard time most weeks, waiting to finish. Plus, I am not the most patient... (understatement).

 

[gone]

Me too. The long wait between one week's sessions and the next is tough. I'm super tweaky just now, roller coasting between deep depression, twitchy hypervigilance, and dissociative dizziness about every five minutes. Hoping treatment/meds will help soon.