I think I have a terrible psychotherapist

[MrHeisenberg]

Hello everyone,

I am consulting a psychiatrist, who also claims to be a psychotherapist, but I have serious concerns as he seems to be dismissing and invalidating my feelings etc., which I understand that psychotherapists should not do. Here are a few examples during an online consultation:

Me: I'm feeling very anxious about losing my father, who is now 83, especially as I don't have a strong social support network.
Psychotherapist: He's not dead yet.

Me: I'm beginning to lose my hair, and that is making me feel extremely low (I have been diagnosed with androgenetic alopecia).
Psychotherapist: Your hair is fine.

The most shocking statement:

Me: I find trying to converse with strangers in person distressing.
Psychotherapist: I don't care about your distress.

Next session:

Me: I am feeling a bit disappointed about the way you handled the last session, especially when you mentioned that you didn't care about my distress.
Psychotherapist: I never said that. There must have been a problem with the internet connection.

There were no audio problems throughout the consultation.

Is it fair to say that this is a psychotherapist best avoided?

 

[Sues]

Um, yeah. Anyone who invalidates you like that should be avoided. The fact that he is denying what was said is very concerning. If you choose to continue, I'd suggest doing an audio recording of the session so that you can play back exactly what was said. But I personally wouldn't wast any more time on someone who is supposed to be supportive and is dismissing you like this.

 

[Movingforward10]

They are very bizarre statements from him that shut conversation down, don't help and don't explore.

What would you like to do?

 

[MrHeisenberg]

Um, yeah. Anyone who invalidates you like that should be avoided. The fact that he is denying what was said is very concerning. If you choose to continue, I'd suggest doing an audio recording of the session so that you can play back exactly what was said. But I personally wouldn't waste any more time on someone who is supposed to be supportive and is dismissing you like this.

Yes, I have asked to see a clinical psychologist instead, as I think you are right - there are a few red flags there. I think dishonesty is an act of serious misconduct too, and some clinicians get struck off for that, but I am assuming that he didn't forget saying what he said in regards to not giving a damn, but surely his memory can't be that bad. I think it is more likely that he just didn't want to admit to saying something egregious.

 

[MrHeisenberg]

They are very bizarre statements from him that shut conversation down, don't help and don't explore.

What would you like to do?

Yes, I thought so too. I did a bit of research, and it seems therapists shouldn't be emotionally invalidating their clients:

13 Emotional Invalidation Examples & Scenarios | Best Therapists

Looking for emotional invalidation examples to see if you're being emotionally invalidated? Check out this comprehensive list to find out today.

www.besttherapists.com

I'm trying to see a clinical psychologist instead, as hopefully they will have better training and more empathy.