Today was a bad day for me - as always. i am struggling with life physically and mentally. and my parents are convinced that I convinced myself that "it's all in my head" true it is because that's where the ptsd is, but they think i convinced myself. I hate when people say "I understand" when they completely don't.
Losing interest in things is just a phase or you convinced yourself you lost interest. That's like saying "Bah Humbug" during CHristmas.
I was nieve when i had my incident on 9-11-2007. I was shy but I gave people a chance. Now i just don't don't know. I have seen one too many people lie to get what they want even though they know the truth. I convinced myself is bullshit. When you see one too many things in person such as people lieing, you honestly believe there is no real honest people out there.
They Truly don't understand. I'm alone in this suffering. because they think i convinced myself i have symptoms of PTSD. I WISH I did convince myself instead of it happening over night. It just changed over night, i couldn't think. my mind is 100% blank nad they understand... BS.
nothing makes sense to me any more. I try to write and I struggle to make a simple letter. "OH you were writing perfectly on paper." It's like an orange... It LOOKS good and juicy and delicious but you don't know what's on the inside.... The inside can be different. For all you know it looks good because you see the outer shell, you don't know whats on the inside... The inside can make differences.
I guess in spite of what they say I think a little bit of it makes sense.. Yes I did make my mind go blank because it was always thinking of people dying. my parents dying. It was always worrying and in most mornings it still does. I'm tired of being like this. I'm aggravated every day when i can't be who i was last year. It makes me literally scream inside that people say "I understand" when they truly don't. THeir minds work perfectly. They can talk to people one on one. I can't seem to find words to say because my mind is blank. i have no interests. I wish I could turn myself around but it's not doable. at least not now.
Losing interest in things is just a phase or you convinced yourself you lost interest. That's like saying "Bah Humbug" during CHristmas.
I was nieve when i had my incident on 9-11-2007. I was shy but I gave people a chance. Now i just don't don't know. I have seen one too many people lie to get what they want even though they know the truth. I convinced myself is bullshit. When you see one too many things in person such as people lieing, you honestly believe there is no real honest people out there.
They Truly don't understand. I'm alone in this suffering. because they think i convinced myself i have symptoms of PTSD. I WISH I did convince myself instead of it happening over night. It just changed over night, i couldn't think. my mind is 100% blank nad they understand... BS.
nothing makes sense to me any more. I try to write and I struggle to make a simple letter. "OH you were writing perfectly on paper." It's like an orange... It LOOKS good and juicy and delicious but you don't know what's on the inside.... The inside can be different. For all you know it looks good because you see the outer shell, you don't know whats on the inside... The inside can make differences.
I guess in spite of what they say I think a little bit of it makes sense.. Yes I did make my mind go blank because it was always thinking of people dying. my parents dying. It was always worrying and in most mornings it still does. I'm tired of being like this. I'm aggravated every day when i can't be who i was last year. It makes me literally scream inside that people say "I understand" when they truly don't. THeir minds work perfectly. They can talk to people one on one. I can't seem to find words to say because my mind is blank. i have no interests. I wish I could turn myself around but it's not doable. at least not now.
