I want to be saved - Tsunami of overwhelming emotions

[maybeiamabear]

Does anyone else goes through phases of freeze when the weather changes? In the last thrity days I have gone through 10 degree celcius variance almost every ten days as I was travelling and once the trip ended - I have been feeling super overwhelmed and heavy. Very heavy so much that it has been difficult to just flow. Before the trip, I was able to create a healthy routine - work, go out and play football and eat healthy.

Now everything seems to be crashing - it's awfully difficult for me to stay on track with my physical fitness goals. I am trying.

I have spent a lot of time since I have come back on watching sitcoms - have finished Queen of South, The Boys, G U and more.

It's like subconsciously I am trying to save myself from this tsunami of overwhelming emotions and I keep fantasizing a partner would come and save me.

The truth is no one is coming and I have to be there for myself.

I just wish so badly that someone would - I guess I have a savior fantasy - I want to be saved. Saved from my own tsunami and demons.

 

[Friday]

For sure. I especially go through phases where I just want to be told what to do / follow orders… but SOMEONE ELSE… in whatever capacity, to step in and fix things? Damn straight.

Instead? What do I do?

Be the person I want to save me.

 

[maybeiamabear]

Be the person I want to save me.

How? When I feel so overwhelmed. Best I can do is slow down and survive and breathe and live. Is that okay? Is it okay to live a slow life where the goal is not #thriving and #hustling?

 

[Friday]

How?

That’s kind of the best part, IME. Because my brain has this idea of “who” I want to rescue me, and how… I use those details my brain is already providing me with… to learn to be that person, and to do those things.

Nope. Like anything else in life, just wanting it (no matter how badly), doesn’t make it happen. Change is usually slow, because learning takes time. But? Already having the idea of who/how? Gives me a badass map to work off of.

Is it okay to live a slow life where the goal is not #thriving and #hustling?

Always. Hell. A slow life is THE ideal for IDFK how many people. It’s not the way I’ve ever wanted to live my life, but I’ve had to… more often than I care to think about… do to illness/injury/luck or the lack thereof.

One thing I remind myself?

Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.

 

[maybeiamabear]

That’s kind of the best part, IME. Because my brain has this idea of “who” I want to rescue me, and how… I use those details my brain is already providing me with… to learn to be that person, and to do those things.

Nope. Like anything else in life, just wanting it (no matter how badly), doesn’t make it happen. Change is usually slow, because learning takes time. But? Already having the idea of who/how? Gives me a badass map to work off of.


Always. Hell. A slow life is THE ideal for IDFK how many people. It’s not the way I’ve ever wanted to live my life, but I’ve had to… more often than I care to think about… do to illness/injury/luck or the lack thereof.

One thing I remind myself?

Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.

Thank you, this is helpful.

 

[arfie]

oh, my, yes. environmental factors alter my perspectives wildly. right now we are just past the summer solstice. the extra hours of daylight have every critter on my farm (including me) wired and ready to quarrel over every little thing.

when i am traveling, i am processing far more variables than air temps. a journey of 100 miles can carry me into a whole new ecosystem, complete with different air, water, pollution, etc. proportionately more so with longer journeys. if i travel by air, i am shocking my system with the sudden change between boarding and leaving the air vehicle.

i ply awareness, radical acceptance and mindfulness to the phenom as part of my daily inventory. i often clarify the awareness piece with posts and/or journal entries similar to the one you used here. how is mother nature messing with my mind today? i don't get to control mother nature, but i can work with her by simply paying attention to her current mandates.

another yes to the wish to be saved/rescued from my plight of the day, with the irony attached that my fierce independence is often irritated with the people who WANT to save me. still, the fantasy persists. i have played with it by embellishing the fantasies and turning them into short stories.

 

[maybeiamabear]

oh, my, yes. environmental factors alter my perspectives wildly. right now we are just past the summer solstice. the extra hours of daylight have every critter on my farm (including me) wired and ready to quarrel over every little thing.

when i am traveling, i am processing far more variables than air temps. a journey of 100 miles can carry me into a whole new ecosystem, complete with different air, water, pollution, etc. proportionately more so with longer journeys. if i travel by air, i am shocking my system with the sudden change between boarding and leaving the air vehicle.

i ply awareness, radical acceptance and mindfulness to the phenom as part of my daily inventory. i often clarify the awareness piece with posts and/or journal entries similar to the one you used here. how is mother nature messing with my mind today? i don't get to control mother nature, but i can work with her by simply paying attention to her current mandates.

another yes to the wish to be saved/rescued from my plight of the day, with the irony attached that my fierce independence is often irritated with the people who WANT to save me. still, the fantasy persists. i have played with it by embellishing the fantasies and turning them into short stories.

Thank you for sharing, this is very helpful.

 

[abovedown]

Does anyone else goes through phases of freeze when the weather changes? In the last thrity days I have gone through 10 degree celcius variance almost every ten days as I was travelling and once the trip ended - I have been feeling super overwhelmed and heavy. Very heavy so much that it has been difficult to just flow. Before the trip, I was able to create a healthy routine - work, go out and play football and eat healthy.

Now everything seems to be crashing - it's awfully difficult for me to stay on track with my physical fitness goals. I am trying.

I have spent a lot of time since I have come back on watching sitcoms - have finished Queen of South, The Boys, G U and more.

It's like subconsciously I am trying to save myself from this tsunami of overwhelming emotions and I keep fantasizing a partner would come and save me.

The truth is no one is coming and I have to be there for myself.

I just wish so badly that someone would - I guess I have a savior fantasy - I want to be saved. Saved from my own tsunami and demons.

I think I use doomscrolling to avoid stress, boredom and hard feelings like anger, anxiety, depression and sadness

oh, my, yes. environmental factors alter my perspectives wildly. right now we are just past the summer solstice. the extra hours of daylight have every critter on my farm (including me) wired and ready to quarrel over every little thing.

when i am traveling, i am processing far more variables than air temps. a journey of 100 miles can carry me into a whole new ecosystem, complete with different air, water, pollution, etc. proportionately more so with longer journeys. if i travel by air, i am shocking my system with the sudden change between boarding and leaving the air vehicle.

i ply awareness, radical acceptance and mindfulness to the phenom as part of my daily inventory. i often clarify the awareness piece with posts and/or journal entries similar to the one you used here. how is mother nature messing with my mind today? i don't get to control mother nature, but i can work with her by simply paying attention to her current mandates.

another yes to the wish to be saved/rescued from my plight of the day, with the irony attached that my fierce independence is often irritated with the people who WANT to save me. still, the fantasy persists. i have played with it by embellishing the fantasies and turning them into short stories.

@arfie How do you do radical acceptance in practise? I love the idea but idk how to apply it in practise

 

[arfie]

again i marvel at the human reality that the easier something is to do, the harder it is to describe. but? ? ? let me give the description another shot.

i neither argue nor censor my feelings/thoughts. i simply observe and process. they are what they are, whether i understand them, or knot. accepting my feelings, thoughts, flashbacks at face value leaves me more room to regulate my physical reactions while i allow them to develop of their own accord.

for what it's worth
i became acquainted with radical acceptance through buddhist channels. it has since morphed into a staple in contemporary psychotherapy. there is tons of internet data available on the subject.

 

[E.G.T]

Does anyone else goes through phases of freeze when the weather changes? In the last thrity days I have gone through 10 degree celcius variance almost every ten days as I was travelling and once the trip ended - I have been feeling super overwhelmed and heavy. Very heavy so much that it has been difficult to just flow. Before the trip, I was able to create a healthy routine - work, go out and play football and eat healthy.

Now everything seems to be crashing - it's awfully difficult for me to stay on track with my physical fitness goals. I am trying.

I have spent a lot of time since I have come back on watching sitcoms - have finished Queen of South, The Boys, G U and more.

It's like subconsciously I am trying to save myself from this tsunami of overwhelming emotions and I keep fantasizing a partner would come and save me.

The truth is no one is coming and I have to be there for myself.

I just wish so badly that someone would - I guess I have a savior fantasy - I want to be saved. Saved from my own tsunami and demons.

I can relate to the savior fantasy. I know it's unrealistic, but I think it's a natural desire to be saved by someone else. There's a fineline between being dependent and having support. We are not meant to go through life alone and being dependent is also not healthy. I hope you can find some support while mantaining your independence.