I Want To Kill...

[ms spock]

I get that @Ms Spock (I was looking for something to quote, but really it's your whole post). We're all concerned. We're just saying that judgement isn't the best way to get him to stop drinking or deal with his anger better.

At least I don't think it is. But I am still hoping @otakujome will tell us what he thinks.

I know you get it @sun seeker. And every approach has some value. There are a wide range of strategies available in this thread.

My approach (as I have a connection with @otakujome) is to immediately campaign for his drug use and alcohol to cease and desist immediately. If he is DEAD, then there is no approach of support that will work (unless you are religious). @otakujome knows me well enough to know I don't judge him, of that I am confident.

He is too young to be drinking and taking this many pills that he is taking. If he DIES, then game over, red rover. He is not in his 20s where he can go out on the town and blow off steam. He is not an adult.

He is a young man, despite being very intelligent, he still needs guidance and direction. People told me when I was 15 that my coping strategies were okay for now. BS! And I didn't get out of them then, so now I am trying now. I don't want otakujome to waste 20-30 years of his life. And once again if he dies or has permanent brain damage and the binge levels he is engaging risks death and permanent injury. It is not social drinking that he is engaging in. More and more sleeping pills is not medication under medical supervision or even recreational use.

I will passionately argue my position. I respect you posting yours and other people posting their opinions, but I will disagree as he could die. I am against him dying.

 

[sun seeker]

Respectfully disagreeing is such a rare thing. I want to recognize it when it happens.

I am glad you have a relationship, he needs that with someone he can trust.

I'd still like to know his opinion (am guessing he's so overwhelmed that he hasn't had time to do more than like posts). I'll desist from giving any further opinions until then.

 

[ms spock]

And what if @otakujome's constant conflict with his parents, (and they don't seem to be helpful at all, and they say some awful things) is based on his drug and alcohol usage? What if they are inexpertly managing their panic over his potential death? If I was a crappy parent and my kid was as beautiful as otakujome and I was terrified that he might die, then maybe I would carry on like a fishwife as well. Who knows?

They may have abused him to the point that he needs to self medicate, I get that, this situation is unbearable. Been there, lived that, and I have the T-Shirt.

But if they are trying to stop him from drinking and drugging, even if they are doing that in a really crazy manner, then that is something to consider. He is taking more drugs and drinking more alcohol than the majority than most adults that I know.

 

[ms spock]

It is not a fact that drinking at 14 is wrong. It's a very ethnocentric opinion.

Absolutely total inaccurate perception in my case. I was allowed to drink a glass of wine from a very young age. Much younger than 14, even younger than ten on special occasions.

I do call people on their drinking and drug use. I will not enable.

Also he is 14! His frontal lobes will not develop until he is in 20s, that is the science, so it is entirely fallacious to compare him to a 40 year person.

A 40 year old person is still alive. He is 14 and will be lucky to make 16 at this time. I am interested in seeing that turned around.

 

[ms spock]

Respectfully disagreeing is such a rare thing. I want to recognize it when it happens.

We are a type of family for him. His online family. So how we agree, interact and debate with each other is important for him. Somedays your approach will be best for him. Some days my brand of disco dancing and a bit of big sister tough love is what he will need. He MUST stop drinking, and even if he doesn't now he knows we know. He knows we care for him for who he is, and he knows we will call him on his behaviours - to matter enough for people to call you out is a very important thing for a teenager.

I am glad you have a relationship, he needs that with someone he can trust.

I can be honest with him. I am lucky that way. He knows I care. And Anonymous, whoever that is - totally brilliant person!

I'd still like to know his opinion (am guessing he's so overwhelmed that he hasn't had time to do more than like posts). I'll desist from giving any further opinions until then.

He liked my post! **winks at sunseeker** (So of course I am right!) ***runs off laughing***

 

[shimmerz]

It is

not a fact that drinking at 14 is wrong.

No, but I think one might agree that drinking (or any mind altering drugs) AND expressing a desire to kill is dangerous, not only to others but to himself. 14 years of age just complicates the matter.

I believe this is a very important piece that is being overlooked in this posting.

 

[digger]

I'd still like to know his opinion (am guessing he's so overwhelmed that he hasn't had time to do more than like posts). I'll desist from giving any further opinions until then.

If you look at his profile picture, it says he is temporarily banned, so he can't respond at the moment - he is clearly still reading everyone's responses though as he is 'liking' some of them.

 

[ms spock]

I'm sure if there was another option he might have taken it by now, don't you?

No. He is 14, there is no way he knows about all the options available even now, nevertheless what could be or is available in the future.

There may be resources in his town that he doesn't know about, that is most possible, in fact it is actually probably.

 

[anonymous]

I think people need to get that a boy who is talking about drinking 1 litre of rum to get drunk is drinking regularly and a lot as his body is tolerant of it. Arguing it is legal in his country for 14 year olds to drink is just so missing the point. No way do they think it is ok to drink that much and just because it is law does not mean it is right. Sharia law exists in many countries, think most of us would disagree with those laws.

There is plenty of research to say how damaging alcohol and binge drinking is in youths. He is not drinking small
he is drinking enough to kill combined with sleeping pills for sure.



This boy is playing Russian roulette just by drinking that amount of alcohol. He risks death by alcohol poisoning. That is a huge amount of alcohol and no body is tolerant of that amount in your blood. Sooner or later it will kill you. Combine it with drugs like sleeping pills and you are playing such a dangerous game. Then the saying he feels like killing.

I don't see how anyone cab use the excuse that it us not the worse thing he could be doing. He is combining drugs and alcohol and now feeling like killing.

This is serious. I am guessing if this boy ended up overdosed or dead or killing someone then it would be questioned why didn't someone try to stop him. I hope he is not serious about killing but frankly we've seen too many teenagers who go out and do that and have written on the internet before doing it. And the condemnation of what were the parents doing and why didn't someone act.

I do give a damn and frankly I will never say it is ok under the circumstances and not tell you to stop because you need to understand what you are doing and get that it could kill you or others. And by writing that you are tolerant of 1 litre of alcohol is showing no understanding of the poison that alcohol is. And it is not the same as allowing a child a glass of wine. That level of alcohol especially if you are on other meds will kill and can make you do violent things.

You are playing Russian roulette.

And you are intelligent enough to get that and see it is not helping you. Sorry if that is seen as judging or unsympathetic but sometimes you need to be told the truth before you end up dead or killing someone.

 

[Ronin]

No. He is 14, there is no way he knows about all the options available even now, nevertheless what could be or is available in the future.

There may be resources in his town that he doesn't know about, that is most possible, in fact it is actually probably.

... or it's possible he's tried what's available, ran out of options, and came to us for a little bit of 'okay what now, folks'. There may be resources in his town that aren't of any real help even if he got to know them, but it's not as if he'd be the only person in the blind. This is pretty much sending him into an unknown territory with no map whatsoever and telling him to take care of himself where what he did was come to other people for a map and a word of advice.

Otakujome strikes me as a thinking and resourceful fella. Sure, not necessarily thinking *straight* and acting well on thoughts, but who with PTSD does, hands down I'm not here bc my brain is super fit. If looking more would have been the answer, he would have done it by now. He looked. He didn't find what he needs/needed. He's trying to move from the point he arrived *now*.

 

[anonymous]

He needs to admit he has a problem first to get help. And I'm not convinced that his parents aren't just reacting to his drinking and trying in their own maybe ptsd ways to stop him spiralling as @Ms Spock mentioned.

 

[Tanishq]

I am in agreement with this anonymous person. This anon. person sounds very serious and wise to me. I do agree with that fact drinking hard at 14 is never good. Otakujome is risking his life. We can't tell him go ahead, continue your ways. Why? Because we can see here, he has been lost and trying to work out the situation. He has no help there, everyone is lashing out things on him. We can see here more.

He came to here to educate himself, we also came here for same purpose right? We share the right information here. Everyone deserves to know the right things. There are ways for that.

There are ways to express sympathy and empathy. One can channel them when they are running with bit healthy mind. Getting health is more important in tough situations. Getting health is more important in crisis situation. I have read otakujome's posts and I do acknowledge the fact he is going through extremely difficult time. He is running out of options, I do know this feeling, last year I was going through this.

We all are adult. Person becomes adult after 18 yr age right? Till then it is our responsibility to let teenagers know the truth. The truth about what is good and bad. Then it's upto them what to choose. We can also help each other how making good choices can enhance your life and if one is struggling to find good choices, we can help each other still. It's an action showing care towards those teenagers who are going through rough time. Teenagers are humans who are passing by transition phase from childhood mentality to adult mentality, Sort of growing or awakening to bigger responsibilities. They need support to become a good adult in their own life.

Yes, I have read lot of things like people's lives ruined due to consuming alcohol and drugs. Everyone once in a while thinks to stop this.

Best wishes to young Mr. Otakujome. We are here to support you.