I want to quit

[Snowflake]

I'm tired. Mentally and physically. Work gave us 2 day notice that we are changing from salary/exempt to hourly-it's fine just a change.

Radiation -getting old and tiresome.

My therapist and I are also planning to start EMDR on November 28-regarding my family sexual abuse. I am so conflicted and terrified. I'm afraid it was nothing, normal. My family loved me-so what's wrong with me? I feel really messed up! I'm afraid to share, feel, believe. I'm ashamed. She thinks I'm putting up a wall- I think I am.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake Walls are good, they can protect us from getting hurt. They push out the people we feel will hurt us, they can protect us from evil. On the flip side of this, they can also hurt us from moving forward. Walls come in many different sizes, shapes and emotions. Anger is a wall, it keeps most people at bay. It was my biggest wall, and I carried it for decades. Worked well for me, until it didn't.

Fear can also be a wall, but it stagnates us from moving. It keeps us frozen. I'm thinking what your experiencing might be more on the lines of trust!?!?!?!? Trusting your therapist and trusting yourself. You suffered abuse, you have PTSD. Those are facts as you know them. You have cancer and are doing radiation, again facts. You've just had another change, with work, again facts.

Your family may have loved you, but someone sexually abused you, again facts. Separate from each other, but still facts. Deal with the facts separately, don't entwine them together when it comes to your abuse. It will be easier to move forward if you do this...

 

[amosmorris]

It's good you let yourself scream it out in here, @Snowflake. It's fair to want to quit it all. But you're here, and in this space those words are safe and fine to say, and now perhaps--I hope--you can move forward just a little at a time. What's in front of you just in this day? in this hour? Just do those things. A little at a time. Thank you for sharing. I am sending all good to you. :hug:

 

[Gs172003]

I'm tired. Mentally and physically. Work gave us 2 day notice that we are changing from salary/exempt...

The impending therapy on top of everything else? So hard on you but when you come out on the other side..whoa momma world watch out!!