I Want To Take Your Pain...or Some Shit

[JimOIFOEF]

I know what you mean about the guilt's Jim. Seems like that is all I get now days. I get into the mental loop of shit I could have done differently/better/faster, but even in my head it never works...shit still happens the same way even in my head regardless of what I do. Those are usually when we end up in the worst fights. I try to head it off by trying to distract myself, but it rarely works for long. Then it is 2 or 3 bad days at least before I get out of that mindset.

Its always a questions as to how much battering ram bullshit she can take before I end up with an empty house. Its not like I chose to do it or say what I say and I regret it afterwards, but I'll be damned if I can stop it while it is happening.

 

[Raven]

As misguided as her comment was, it came from her desire to reach out and help you. In the future, when she runs her mouth like that, just say, "Please don't say that, it's not helping." I know it's hard to calm down and say something rational in the middle of a fight though. My husband puts up with my PTSD, my ADHD, and my anal retentiveness. He's also prior military so he gets some of it.

As far as your relationship, it sounds like there are bigger wrenches in the gears than a remark that rubbed you the wrong way...

 

[Scorpigrow]

I know it doesn't help with all PTSD situations, but I taught my wife to touch me, hug me, or cuddle me when I rage out. I calm down quicker and feel like I have an anchor back to reality. I told her to stay silent if I'm talking violent. Let me run the coarse then it's kinda like I fizzle out and cry in her arms. I was abused as a kid so personal connection took a long time to build with her. They mean well, but they don't understand. I tell my wife I'm glad she can't fully understand, otherwise she'd have PTSD too and we'd be in a world of shit then. So I guess you should be thankful she's ignorant to death and hate. But you aren't bad or wrong. You're trying to survive, so take a "get out of jail free card" so you can reconnect with her. I'll tell you what I never feel better than when my face is wet and my wife's scratching my head whispering I love you.