In 2009 I was a part of this community for the childhood trauma of being abused by family members.
Well, I left my two children with my ex to keep them from that family. I spiraled into drugs. I married a neuroscientist and ran away to France. Right before COVID. I was physically, sexually, and we emotionally abused again. I'm so glad I didn't bring him into my children's lives. I blame myself for this because he said to me he had never tried drugs and wanted to. When I arrived to France he was fully addicted to everything and it spiraled. I admitted myself to a psych ward to escape him. But went to live with him after on the streets of Marseille when an English speaking woman saved me from being trafficked. I was tricked into going with men for food and a safe place to eat and then they made me bathe and have sex with them. I slept in corners. On dirty mattresses. I ate from dumpsters. I had to run away from my ex chasing me. Once naked, with a knife, after slapping me in the face 15 times. Those are the main flashback memories but I can't remember everything, it's mush. It comes in waves and startles me. A few months felt like several years.
I'm looking for supportive friends/survivors who are Christian and/or open minded. Praying is all that I can do sometimes to stop the horror. I don't mind people who aren't Christian I just especially want to meet people who can help me build faith. There is a reason I survived and made it home.
I have a psychiatrist and therapist and a Christian therapist. I have church friends. But, sometimes I feel they just don't understand and that makes me feel alone. I don't want to feel alone anymore.
Well, I left my two children with my ex to keep them from that family. I spiraled into drugs. I married a neuroscientist and ran away to France. Right before COVID. I was physically, sexually, and we emotionally abused again. I'm so glad I didn't bring him into my children's lives. I blame myself for this because he said to me he had never tried drugs and wanted to. When I arrived to France he was fully addicted to everything and it spiraled. I admitted myself to a psych ward to escape him. But went to live with him after on the streets of Marseille when an English speaking woman saved me from being trafficked. I was tricked into going with men for food and a safe place to eat and then they made me bathe and have sex with them. I slept in corners. On dirty mattresses. I ate from dumpsters. I had to run away from my ex chasing me. Once naked, with a knife, after slapping me in the face 15 times. Those are the main flashback memories but I can't remember everything, it's mush. It comes in waves and startles me. A few months felt like several years.
I'm looking for supportive friends/survivors who are Christian and/or open minded. Praying is all that I can do sometimes to stop the horror. I don't mind people who aren't Christian I just especially want to meet people who can help me build faith. There is a reason I survived and made it home.
I have a psychiatrist and therapist and a Christian therapist. I have church friends. But, sometimes I feel they just don't understand and that makes me feel alone. I don't want to feel alone anymore.
