- Moderator
- #25
Sideways
VIP Member
Maybe consider this your “asking for help” swansong? And you did great!
You have an issue with feeling like you need to do everything yourself, and feel a bit isolated about that. So you reached out here to see if others relate. And sure enough, people come back and are happy to relate with you their own experiences.
Uttering the words “Help me...” is the ultimate when it comes to asking for help. But there’s lots of ways we ask for help, and mostly, we communicate that we need help in ways that don’t actually include the word “help”.
In my mind, when I start a thread on this forum, I’m essentially asking for help. Maybe the help I’m after is just to have other people say they hear me, or they relate. But I’ve still reached out for help - even if my post doesn’t use that word. And it always pays dividends when I do that on this forum.
When I get it in my mind “I need help with this?” I can drive myself into a deep dark hole with all the potential implications of that. I can make it seem downright dangerous to use the word “help”. But actually, I can ask for help. I do it here on this forum all the time.
And that’s where you start. Acknowledging to yourself, “Hey, I just pulled off asking for help with this on the forum, and it worked! Great! Go me and my recovering self!” From there, you keep going. Try reaching out somewhere else, see what happens. Start with little stuff, rather than the big stuff. Won’t always work, won’t always include using the word “help” (because that word is waaaay too loaded and difficult to use). But sometimes, like right here in this thread? Reaching out works. Makes relationships stronger, makes life more meaningful. Awesome:)
You have an issue with feeling like you need to do everything yourself, and feel a bit isolated about that. So you reached out here to see if others relate. And sure enough, people come back and are happy to relate with you their own experiences.
Uttering the words “Help me...” is the ultimate when it comes to asking for help. But there’s lots of ways we ask for help, and mostly, we communicate that we need help in ways that don’t actually include the word “help”.
In my mind, when I start a thread on this forum, I’m essentially asking for help. Maybe the help I’m after is just to have other people say they hear me, or they relate. But I’ve still reached out for help - even if my post doesn’t use that word. And it always pays dividends when I do that on this forum.
When I get it in my mind “I need help with this?” I can drive myself into a deep dark hole with all the potential implications of that. I can make it seem downright dangerous to use the word “help”. But actually, I can ask for help. I do it here on this forum all the time.
And that’s where you start. Acknowledging to yourself, “Hey, I just pulled off asking for help with this on the forum, and it worked! Great! Go me and my recovering self!” From there, you keep going. Try reaching out somewhere else, see what happens. Start with little stuff, rather than the big stuff. Won’t always work, won’t always include using the word “help” (because that word is waaaay too loaded and difficult to use). But sometimes, like right here in this thread? Reaching out works. Makes relationships stronger, makes life more meaningful. Awesome:)
