Ideation Trumps Ideation

[anonymous]

I can't kill myself, because I have to wait for someone to die, so I can kill someone else.

What a f*cked up world. What a f*cked up statement. What a cockup I've made of our lives.

 

[TXbandit]

are you ok? Need to talk?

 

[GWhizz]

I'm sorry it feels this way right now. Do you want to try tell us about it? :hug:

 

[TXbandit]

Please answer. You have many members worried about you. We are here to help. Please talk to us.

 

[Kefira]

We're all here to support one another. If you don't want to talk, I can respect that but if you think it might help, certainly you have willing friendly ears here waiting.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and hope you find some comfort soon whether it's through talking to us or whatever selfcare works for you.

 

[Justmehere]

My neighbor did what you are thinking of doing, he was a doctor, but he never had the courage to reach out for help.

You already have much more courage than him just by reaching out here.

Although my neighbor only killed himself and two other people, both family members, and entire community of people were extremely traumatized by his actions. No one saw what he did other than his victims (but he did confess to police before he killed himself) but still an entire community was shaken.

There is no way to commit suicide or murder without traumatizing many many more people than you realize - than any of us who have struggled with any of those thoughts realizes.

You do have courage and strength he did not have. Things can change and get better. The thoughts you are having are just thoughts. Ok, so they probably feel really compelling and like your only way out, but if you keep reaching out for help, I have no doubt that you will find other means of relief for the very real pain you are in.

The suicidial and homicidal Ideation - it would be wrong for you to act on those - but I don't judge or condemn you for having them - it's not so much a sign of you being screwed up but a sign of how much pain you are in and how desperate you feel.

Please keep reaching out for help.

:hug: