For me, it took a long time to be able to say the words out loud "I was a victim of abuse" or "...
Yessss, victim shouldn't be used as a negative. Before my mother knew the full extent of what I went through my mother and brother used to tease me that 'she's pulling the victim card' when I would get emotional and try to control situations I was uncomfortable with even laughing at me for doing something traumatizing that my mom didn't appreciate the context of. Once I told my mom the full extent of what I went through and truly owned my victim status, she started treating me better. In fact now, she is one of the most caring and loving people to me. It was a major breakthrough for me!
If people don't see you as strong for being a victim then they are not worth your time. Part of strength is accepting your limitations and working within the bounds. Using your self awareness and skill to forge ahead in inconceivable situations. Using your skill to push beyond what you think you can handle till your old comfort zones are what you look back upon.
I am a victim, no doubt about it. Also has taken me loads of humility and tears to recognize it to mysel...
Yes, this is what I mean.
I don't think that being able to say "I was a victim" is feeling pity for yourself. It's not...
Yes, it depends on the individual, it's being truthful with yourself.
I dont really find saying Im a survivor invailidating as I did indeed survive torture and cam...
I'm glad you made it through and you are here today.
I don't really believe people get stuck in the victim mentality if they are making efforts to process emotions and that's what all of us are doing here, no? It's kind of like you have to acknowledge something is wrong, like if someone say for instance has a kidney disease, they get a transplant and there are certain processes they have to go through despite receiving a kidney. They no longer have kidney disease, but they did receive a transplant thus they are still a transplant receiver. I did receiver victimization, I am a victim and it did place me in disease. Am I still being victimized in that state of disease? No, but I have to live with the repercussions. Much like a kidney patient (my boyfriend was one) has to take pills in order to survive, I have to swallow the bitter pills I need to in order to survive.
That makes me a victim, screw that victim mentality stuff because admitting the truth has taken me farther than any 'survivor' mentality ever has. I felt like I was hiding a kidney disease or something honestly. No one knew what was wrong until I let my guard down. It's like how MDMA there can be very effective for PTSD based therapy because there are intense feelings of trust. If you're a survivor, if you're strong, if you have your guard up, you're not exposing yourself in the same way as a victim.
In order for healing to take place, there need to be an openness and vulnerability. It's not like a surgeon can operate on a part that needs addressing without it being exposed, right? You can't have your guard up during that lol.
*ck all these words - Im me - Bloomy!! Im not a victim, not a survivor, nor warrior, nor fighter. I...
Anyone that is a victim is progressing because they're being honest with themselves. It's a hard truth not many can admit. Like Jung said, if you resist it persists. What we need often need to do is get down to the foundation before we can build upon it. Anyone with PTSD is a victim, whether of circumstance or otherwise. You need to give yourself sympathy, compassion and nurturing when you have PTSD. You know what really helps though? to own up to it. First I am a victim, then I am healing. Fighting against the title of victim in my opinion just makes the beast harder to slay. Like Kant said maturity is the ability to face ones self and anyone who can identify as a victim is quite mature for that reason.
