I'm Doing This For Me, Because I'm Worth It

[OKRADLAK]

This is a motivational thread!

It is hard for me, too. I am technically normal weight but my body composition is messed up because when I first got PTSD I stopped eating and lost a tremendous amount of weight. It was not anorexia. Then, when I gained it back, my body was so messed up!

I had a body fat test and I was underweight and overfat. The reader was like, "There must be a mistake" and I was like, "No, I just almost starved to death because I have PTSD" (Back when I told people).

Research has shown that anrexics and people who have starved who then gain weight actually DO tend to gain it mostly in the abdomen area, contrary to the held position that it is all in their heads. It also shows high percentage of body fat, relative to weight.

The only way to offset it is intense workouts whilst gaining weight to put the muscle back on that has been starved off. Because you lose muscle and gain fat.

This abdominal fat is not just cause of aestheic concern.....it causes increases in insulin resistance, diabetes, and metabolic syndrome. Joy. It makes us at higher risk of death because we starved.

So just because I starved out of stress, now I have to be extra vigilant because who wants to spend 8 hours in the gym??

If I gain weight now, yes, it's all disporportionate because of the upset balance but more importantly it can cause serious problems because of the way it tends to accumlate in people who have starved.

So I have to be careful to not binge which of course I always want and love to do because it boost seroton like nothing else in the world. Nothing beats a huge dish of carbs. Sorry. I could eat 10 bowls of cereal and want MORE MORE MORE! I want it now, but am here writing!:D

So awesome KP to start this because it will help! It's not all about losing weight, but beaing healthy because you are right. You are worth it and so are we all!:)

 

[KP the nut]

(((OKRADLAK))), this brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing.

Together we can do this

 

[Incendiu]

I just wanted to say everyone here is doing so good...well done all.

 

[Queen Boudica]

So relate to what you wrote Okradlak. Not only do we have the PTSD, but the coping stuff, starving and bullimia in my case, also messes us up. And we have to deal with that as well as the PTSD symptoms.

BUT at least you are aware of it and know what to do about it. Even though we may falter along the way. There are lots of people out there without PTSD and who eat terribly and who are walking heart attacks and they are not even aware of it. Or are in complete denial about it.

Not sure any of that makes proper sense. But what I am trying to say, you have the knowledge and you are applying it. It does not have to be done perfectly, every bit helps. It is all a step in the right direction.

 

[Marie E.]

(((KP))))

 

[Loloma]

I don't feel I have completely blown it and as dear old Scarlet O'Hara said - 'tomorrow is another day':rolleyes:

Don't beat yourself up, it's a slow process. You can't expect to suddenly change your way of thinking after some many years. I used to smoke like a chimney until 1996, then stopped that was hard. I drunk like a fish for years till my health declined so badly and nearly destroyed my liver. Talk about self abuse.
Finally I replaced the smoking and drinking with eating. Now I have a large belly, diabetes, angina, etc. etc. and a broken relationship. I need to do this for me, because I want to learn to love and care for myself.
KP baby steps, don't deprive yourself of everything otherwise it won't work. Just make it a little less each time, slowly does it. You have so much support here. (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

 

[OKRADLAK]

Another technique that lets you have a "free day" is if, once your are used to a fitness regime, is to really "blast" on one of the workouts. Maybe do it longer or harder just for one day to offset a bad food day.

Of course, make sure you know your limits and not to just rip! lol!! But if I blast on food....well.....time to blast on a workout. grrrrrrr

Caffeine before a work out helps, too . Heh.

 

[Froggie]

I agree with Okradlak, with a diet we need a free day otherwise we end up with a binge trap somewhere along the line and then we feel like a failure. Congratulations to everyone who is putting in efforts to change their lifestyles ... Big BRAVO !

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Proud of you KP....you are doing a fantastic job.

 

[CraftyCath]

I can truly associate with the starving thing. I've never been anorexic/bulimic but I have come very close. I had had times when I would get the food in my mouth and couldn't swallow it, when the knife and fork would feel unnaturally heavy and I could barely lift them. I went 3 days once on just 2 mars bars, nibbling it every now and again. I was stick thin. Now I am a bit over weight because as OKRADLAK said you just put it on quickly once you start to feel better.

I truly want to say WELL DONE to everyone here, we are fighting a hard battle with the PTSD and all warriors need good, healthy food to keep us fit for the fight!

Thanks for the thread KP, you are a marvel!

 

[James B.]

I'd say food and all that, you know, 'nutrition' and the whole thing, may be one of the 3 most personal subjects there are.

I mean, what else is there? Ok, you got 'human intimacy', right? That's really personal. And then you got your spiritual or religious (spiritual) orientations, beliefs etc. Alright. So..we got spirituality, intimacy, and food as (what I feel may be) the top 3 most personal subjects, normally.

Just a hunch....:D

 

[OKRADLAK]

That is a profound hunch, James! And even more poignant because for many of us, the first two have been stripped away. So what do we have left? Truly I would not eat if I did not have to . It is always complicated for me now. Do I eat this or that? Why did I eat that? etc/ It's a nightmare.

That is the last remnants of my being human.

Also personal is what we choose to study and watch and allow in to our senses. I hate TV for instance, but have nothing against it. Too many triggers and I can't sit still to watch it.

But we can choose to erad a newspaper or a indepth article on a deep subject and that is pretty intimate, too. It may be all we can so I try to make it a good one!:)

<edited by Nicolette: no need to quote entire preceding post you are replying to thank you>