I'm done

[Awinaj]

Just wanted to post a final message here. Had no one to talk to for weeks now. I think I am done, I know I'm exhausted and spent and have given my all, which clearly was not enough. I'm not angry, just tired and sad....family didn't 'get us', I lost friends fighting to defend him now I realise I lost myself too....final straw, nothing left.

Never have I loved or given so much to someone who I still believe to be very special. I know this will set me back a long way in recovery but its not healthy for me anymore. Feel such a fool to have believed in someone and tried to help and be a support to them on their journey.

Anyway just realised today that I'm done. No fuss, just quiet contemplation. He doesn't know it yet but when he remembers I exist, I won't be there. I have always wished him well and its not my intent to punish him. I blame myself for my own pain. I just can't be a cheerleader to someone who doesn't care if I'm even on the team. Who picks me up and drops me like a hot potato, who treats me like a last minute option, who never wants to be seen out with me, who cancels last minute, who holds my hand and pours out his soul and then disappears for weeks, can cope with physical intimacy but not a relationship, who has time for everyone else but me and who blames everything on PTSD. Thanks for everything guys, wish you all the best.

 

[Rujek]

So sorry things didn't work out for you! There is someone out there who will treat you well and who will meet your needs.

Peace to you and good luck on your journey!! XO

 

[Seza]

You need to take care of yourself because he obviously isn't doing it. You deserve a partner who can give along with the receiving.

 

[Jida]

Just wanted to post a final message here. Had no one to talk to for weeks now. I think I am done, I know I'm exhausted...

Please know that I am not here to criticize, judge, nor to make you feel any worse than you already feel for having invested so much of yourself into this relationship while loving this man that said he's been diagnosed with ptsd. I noticed that you said you think you are done with him. Hmmm. I know that you don't believe you deserve someone who takes advantage of you, and all of the above cruel and negative manners in which he's treated you thus far? Yet, you said I think I am done. Where along the way in your life did you ever start believing that this is all you deserve, at all costs, i.e. friends, etc? When? I hear you saying you don't deserve this cruelty from him yet he's been dishing out to you for a while now and you have been staying right there while he did it. And now you still aren't sure if you've had enough?

I believe in my heart of hearts that you deserve a person that is going to love you and reciprocate that love, and be genuine and authentic and treat you with the respect that you have given to this man, whom is (from your words) incapable of giving back respect and love to you. I totally believe that you need perhaps (only think about please) to look in the mirror at the woman staring back at you and ask yourself what in you has allowed this to go on for far too long without addressing it? And ptsd or no, we are all human in here and we know when we are treating others poorly and also when we're being treated same. So ptsd is truly not an excuse for me to behave poorly and mistreat people I love with disdain. Please only think about what I've written here because I was just going to pass on by and not say anything and decided to risk and share my thoughts and these are only my thoughts - and not an indictment, nor am I trying to hurt you in any way, shape, form, or fashion, I honestly just care, and you sound like you are in so much pain here. And I've been there done that. I've treated loving people in my past with indifference, and I've been treated so as well and now I am trying to change. You deserve so much more than from what you've above shared that he's dishing out to you. I hope you will see this and make that change! whatever that may be.

And from reading the above from you I can see why you are hurting so, however, I must draw a firm line re my expectations, values, and moral beliefs on what I will and will not tolerate in any given relationship (whether friend or lover, etc.) and it sounds like from your above description of him to me that he has used you like a doormat, a rug, something conveniently to wipe his feet upon and you have allowed same for quite some time now. And now I ask why? Why have you allowed this cruelty from him to go on and on? Why? I'm sorry I said it and I meant it. Please, you owe me no explanations here, I only want you to ask yourself why? I care.

 

[Ude]

To the OP.....I can empathize. I'm sorry and take care :hug: