It takes me a long time to trust therapists, or really anyone. My trauma therapist said it doesn't surprise her because of my trauma history. She told me it's normal for people with PTSD.
She asks me and encourages me all the time to tell her anything that would help me feel more comfortable (she even stays away from the word safe because feeling "safe" can feel like an impossible goal for me.) Most of the time, I don't know what would help, but she offers ideas and we keep trying them.
Trust takes as long as it takes. There isn't really a right or wrong or a time by which you should trust a therapist by, as long as you keep working at it and it sounds like you are.
I agree with the suggestion to try to talk about why it's hard to share more with him. I found that so helpful for me to do myself. Just talking through fears about sharing with my therapist helped me in therapy, and in life.
Maybe you could also talk to him about suggestions of things to try that would help you feel safer and more comfortable in therapy, rather than just about how good it would be to share more?
For me, I feel more comfortable in therapy when my therapist gives me a 10 minute heads up before the session ends - then we have time to wind down from any tough topics we have talked about and I don't have to be worried I will leave her office raw and upset. It helps when she explains things more to me. It helps for me to get reassurance about PTSD and the therapy relationship too.
Talking is really hard for me too. There have been times where I have to write stuff down, bring it to session, and I tell her it's too scary to say this. I let my therapist read it in session, she then reassures me about it, and then I can talk about it in little bits at a time. Sometimes I write a lot about a subject and imagine telling it to my therapist, and I get scared. But, if I do it a few times, when it comes time to actually talk to her, it's easier. I told her that I do this and she thought it was a good idea because it's like self imposed exposure therapy in my own head. It can also be triggering to do this, so it's something to do with caution.
I know you feel like you need to do what he suggests, but it's only partly true. It's a good idea to consider his suggestions with an open mind, but you don't have to do them. In fact, it may be very important for you to pick which suggestions you want to do, and which ones you don't, and what you are not yet ready to do. Part of healing from PTSD can be about learning when and how to say "no" and "not right now." Therapy is a great place to learn and practice that skill. Plus, it can help show the therapist you are trying to figure out what will help.
That being said, you can disregard any of these suggestions too if they don't fit for you.
By the way, you have great English! (Maybe better than my English, and I'm a native English speaker!)
