I'm Not Going To Make It Through The Winter

[BloomInWinter]

((((Jadebear)))))

 

[Jade-]

I'm sure I sound irrational. Sorry.

 

[Reclusive]

It's okay to sound irrational - I think we all do that from time to time to time to time.....

Have you decided what your first flower tattoo is going to be? Are you going to pick them based on looks or meaning or....?

 

[Jade-]

I haven't decided yet.....gonna wait and see if I make it through first.....

 

[Jade-]

When I read this thread, it sounds so irrational....so why is it even in my head? Why am I so convinced I'm not gonna make it through the winter?

 

[anthony]

Stick with the opening paragraph of this thread... you identified the problem and the irrational belief association. Paranoia!

 

[Philippa]

I've only just realized from reading your post that the feelings I had relating to not having a future were a result of ptsd/. No one ever told me that in counselling before. Crazy...I thought I was just extremely negative.

I've also had that sense that I would die soon in my 20's. It happened twice, but I'm still here? It REALLY felt like it was really going to happen, it was like a knowing, so I didn't question it, I just accepted it calmly. Weird.

WInter is coming up for me as well, and I have had my doubts about making it through without the fellow I recently left behind, but, as much as he would say supportive things sometimes, the abusive belittling and just flat out creepiness was too much to deal with, so it looks like we're both gonna spend our winter alone and deal with it somehow. Maybe I will meet a new and healthier cuddle buddy?

 

[Sethe]

It seems like Spring down here!

I went to a nursery today and bought some plants and potting soil. One is a beautiful purple-flowered plant. No scent, but it's pretty and it makes my inner kid happy.

I cut up some egg cartons to start seedlings in too.

What should I plant for you Jadebear?

 

[amethist]

For Jadebear.



Growing slightly imperfect, but still growing and will flower in around 15 days for the first day of spring.

 

[Iam]

(((Jade))) I'm sorry that you are struggling. I'll be happy when the next two weeks have passed and you will be able to see that it is PTSD talking and making you feel this way. I agree with whoever pointed out last Dec that this may be a flashback. It makes sense somehow.

My T told me that our minds tend to self sabotage when we start feeling better. I wonder if this has something to do with it as well. You are doing so much better now and obviously want to live. Maybe somewhere in you subconscience you are still not believing you deserve to live a happy and fulfilled life?

Well you do Jade. You are a wonderful, sweet and compassionate person. What flowers are you going to plant in spring? I have flowers I plant for each of my granddaughters every year. You have a grandchild right? Maybe you can start and new tradition and do that too ;o) Plant ones that will come up every year.

 

[Gloria]

JB,
I completely understand how you feel. I just had a really bad set back with my PTSD and my therapist that when you feel overwhelmed you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been doing a lot of reading this past week on PTSD symptoms. What you are feeling is "normal" for PTSD sufferers. I swear that I have to repeat to myself all day long that this is just PTSD symptoms and this will pass. PTSD really sucks!

I sure hope you are feeling better now. I like the idea of getting a tattoo of flowers. I just got back from a cruise and I never realized how many people really get a lot of tattoos!
You go girl!!
Hugs!
Gloria

 

[intothelight]

Hi Jade,

Its spring. You made!

(So did I.)

Deb