Relationship I'm So Blue.

[Glara]

Thanks @Shadowofdoubt, I'm having a hard time reading and writing these right now. But I really appreciate it.

 

[Glara]

He texted today. He just said hi. But that's ok. I know that he doesn't really want me to leave. I've got plenty to do up here to take care of myself and keep busy. I love him and I want to be there and I'm really willing to wait. My life up here is complicated, so it works.

 

[Shadowofdoubt]

I'm glad you got a little relief. Are you able to just call him and talk instead of the texts?

 

[Glara]

@Shadowofdoubt I could but I'm not sure that's what he wants at this point. I get the feeling he was checking to see if I gave up on him. He doesn't seem like he wants to talk yet.

 

[Sabrina0712]

I know exactly how you feel Glara...the guy I am talking to last thing he said was he slit his wrist n was heading to the hospital...no word nothing :( He is not returning my calls or texts...all I can do is pray he is ok. He is 2 states away n he was suppose to move here to CO this week n I just hope to god he is ok. I haven't heard from him since last Thur. I wish he would just text me back n tell me he is ok...but nothing. I miss him so much n I wish he knew I am here for him. I think its the move n everything that is overwhelming him.
Glad you heard back from your guy Glara...they come back in tiny steps. Wish you all the best!

 

[Glara]

OMG @Sabrina0712 that's horrible! So scary. I hope you hear soon. I'm sure he's ok if he went to the hospital, he's probably admitted and can't call, if they felt he was a dangers to himself. Please keep us posted.

I my case we had no plans to move in together. We talked about a lot if stuff when we first reconnected. It would be very hard to give up my job under the best of circumstances. I guess what he meant about live by himself is not be in a relationship. Idk.

Anyway, again please let us know when you here from him.

 

[Sabrina0712]

I definitely will @Glara ...but he is not moving here to be w/me. He has always wanted to move here before he met me but knowing that he was suppose to be here this week that part hurts. I wish he would just reach out to me so I know he is ok. Been staring at my phone all weekend...just crazy how your life stands still for one person....if they only knew how much what they do or say hurts us. He is HUGE on surprises n so sometimes I wonder if he is going to surprise me n just show up here at work (wishful thinking).
How are you holding up Glara? This Forum is a Godsend! I love it...there is so many things he had said n done that I see goes w/so many stories here. Amazing.

 

[Glara]

@Sabrina0712 I know my guy knows it hurts me. Last week I thought he was breaking it off, even though those weren't the words he used.....He just texted to ask how I did driving in the snow lol.

Anyway, I now think he was just saying he's sorry because he haven't been texting or calling. It's just the way he said it. He's been suicidal and it was very bad in Oct. I suspect just as bad now, but he doesn't want me to know.

I wonder if he wonders why I'm willing to wait. My friends say it's unhealthy. I've asked myself that as well. I guess it's partly because I'm attracted to him, but mostly because I feel like I know his heart and I've never met anyone who feels so deeply and sincerely. Sometimes I think maybe it's some kind of game, he can't be that deep, but most if the time I know he is. Is it like that for you?

 

[Sabrina0712]

@Glara ...definitely like that for me as well! The things he told me n the calls he made to me when he was down n me staying on the phone w/him till 5 in the morning...just listening to him talk about his feelings, his family...just like how he comes in out of the blue...he disappears. Right before Christmas he was gone for about 2 wks didn't hear a word from him than on a Sat night he called out of the blue while I was out w/my sister.

He was feeling depressed...driving around aimlessly. I stayed w/him on the phone...one cause I truly care for him n two I was so excited to hear from him. I was on the phone w/him for 5 hrs! Than the next day...he acted as though I was nothing! Like we never had that conversation.
Now he is moving here n he told me he wants us to be just friends...he has been in the friends mode for a few mths now n for me its hard knowing he is here n we are just friends...I can't handle it so I told him I can't see him when he is here its not fair to me. That is why he has gotten so angry n talking about killing himself n taking pics of his gun n telling me he slit his wrist cause he knows I care so much about him.

Why is he doing that? Do you think its fair that they can "use" us any which way they like n we are suppose to go along w/it w/no strings attached...no! If I took his friendship but still have that love for him n see him n do all the things I know he would love me to do...what if he met someone n I still have that hope that we will get back together? Is that fair to me? Its why it breaks my heart that I can't accept his friendship...it is killing me. Now everyday I text him since his last text on Thursday...no word or call nothing.

Why do they do this??? I am so hurt...part of me wants to be his friend but I am tired of being used n used as a punching bag when he is in a bad mood (he tends to take all his anger out on me).

You don't treat someone like that :(