Im So Hurt

[Deleted member 1860]

Sorry its impossible for me to keep everyone's posts straight. If I had the expectation of everyone knowing my backstory, they'd laugh....I have made over 6k posts/replies.

I don't think you understand what a boundary is. I think it would be a good idea for you to read up on boundaries. You say he's never set any boundaries, yet he stated boundaries in that text, referring to having done so in the past.

The truth is that people are CONSTANTLY setting boundaries. Some people refuse to "listen" and rather cry foul when they get pushback rather than admit their part in it all. If you are a person who need someone to tell you point blank "My boundary is ______" then I don't think you're ready for a relationship.

 

[ekane]

You said he has not set any boundaries you just talked about space etc etc.

THAT is the boundary. Reread the text again. Leave him alone. According to him, he is fed up and says essentially you are being selfish and he is stressed about his brother right now and needs you to stop. Whether or not his assessment of you is fair doesn't matter. Just stop. Do something to entertain yourself or vent to your friends.

Is it over? It should be. If not now then eventually yeah. Because either he is right and its over. Or he is wrong and is being an ass, which means you shouldn't want him anymore anyway.

 

[joeylittle]

Only people i have spoke too is his room mate which they live together so he sees what happens and its me seeing if his doing okay when im not around Because we are all friend's.

This would make me freak out, were I your boyfriend. Even if you're just seeing if I'm ok - because that is like keeping tabs, monitoring, and that can be stressful (for anyone).

I don't think you can have both - the three of you can be lovers, or the three of you can be friends, but you can't be intimate with your bf, friends with his roommate, then talk to his roommate about your intimate issues with your bf. There's a level of trust that is different - not greater or lesser, just different - with romantic relationships. Unless his roommate was your absolute best friend prior - and even then, it all feels too close. in a strange way, you accidentally took his roommate away from him (I think), and I do see how he might feel that way.

I vote serious cooling off period. I'm not sure he owes you an apology - the impression I get is you've both misunderstood each other, and both have things you could talk over and make better.

I am sorry you're hurting - it's a hard situation. Best thing might be just to get your mind focused on things that can give you some happiness back.