Other I'm sorry but the more I grow up; the more I hate men

[oceanandpine]

Dude I hate men. So so f*cking much. Oh, somebody gets raped? 9/10 times it's a man. Oh, a school gets shot up? Oh yeahhh; it's a guy.

I'm so f*cking sick of f*cked up men. Women rarely even do as much bad shit as guys do.

Before I even turned 13 guys wanted to f*ck me; particularly older men.

For example; one time my mom& I were walking the street, there was a creepy guy staring at my ass.

And there's another example with how one of my older cousins (who was a dude) when I was 5&10 touched& fingered me to the point of me bleeding and it'd last at least 1 hour while I was begging him to stop.

When I was 11-13; another cousin of mine (who was 16-18) also wanted to have sex with me and intentionally played games to make me feel flustered and aroused but I thought I was just having a weird crush.

Also, when I was in 6th grade where was a random dude who SA'ed me during PE and nobody did shit because, “boy being boy“.

Or another where I've dated 4 dudes who were abusive in some way.

First 2 week one (I was 13, he was 16) really wanted to f*ck me& basically just control me emotionally, and basically it repeated but got worse with each relationship.

My last relationship; the dude wanted to choke me, and kill my Dad& probably my mom and rape me while I was asleep.

Not to mention there's also apparently a dude my age who's grooming somebody around middle school age.

Also, there's also my brother. He's an abusive c*nt to my mom, he tried to twist her arm and now he's actively abusing the system's biases so he doesn't get charged, and he's succeeding.

I know I shouldn't feel this way but I don't care what type of spin you want to put on it; I wish all that f*cked up dudes could just deep throat a gun and shoot themselves or at the very least get neutered.

I know women are also very f*cked up people (The majority of them), but men seem to have the tendency to just be worse; whether if it's genetic or environmental, I don't know.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I’m sorry you been through so much, i think the world is in a way that guys can get away with jt easier than they should and are not taught as kids and enforced properly how they should be so greedy and powerful men can do what they want. it is sad and it does happen the oher way aeound but i think jt is a real thing that the environment is bad and helps make more of these people or keep them around. i think selfishness is one of the root of these things. and not caring about others and seeing yourself as above people or them as unimportant is catching it runs in families and everything like that.

i think women abuse more than it is reported but men are stronger and more violent with it when they do bad things so they have more chance

 

[stargirl948]

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through and yes, men are generally malicious creatures. You are 100% correct. Every man I have in my life (of which there are very few) goes through an EXTENSIVE screening process for safety reasons and I point blank refuse to engage with men who are not in my inner circle.
Personally I think that men biologically have an urge to be more violent but the patriarchy exacerbates this to an extreme degree. Very much wish that most men would just take themselves off the planet for our sake. Women should have a global revolt against men, the world would be much better then.
And f*ck the guys who get personally offended by statistics, personal experiences, esc. There is so much evidence suggesting most of them are evil but society refuses to accept it because they run society.
I would advise you against saying this to a man though or mentioning it too loud in public, I've been in situations in the past where they get violent once confronted about it.

 

[Movingforward10]

I don't hate men. Or share the same anger.
And it makes me wonder why actually.

I'm very glad I'm gay and don't need to deal with men in my intimate relationships or household. I think it's much easier being a feminist without having to navigate living arrangements with men. As I see so many women do all the household chores whilst also working and parenting and talk about their male partners "baby sitting" the children. Blows my mind at times.

But I don't hate men. Despite a number harming me.
But also my mother harmed me. So...

I was just in a meeting yesterday where a man was so beautifully eloquent with what he said. Emotionally mature and kind. I really took to him. It probably shouldn't be notible when a male is like that. But given the world is a shit show of hate at the moment, I cherish those moments of connection when someone shows kindness to others. On this occasion it was a male.

I think humans are just vile generally. And we're a blip in the history of the universe. That we should and will be wiped out before long given we're in climate breakdown. And then the world will recover without us humans and carry on.
So maybe my anger is more human species wide?

 

[arfie]

hello ocean. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

the meanest of my childhood abusers were women. girl, howdy, i have a hard time loving myself for all the hatred i hold for women. i'll spare you the woman bashing rant which supports my hatred. i'm trying to kick the habit. works in progress.

"Ever'thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul," ~langston hughes

healing hopes for all. no exceptions.

 

[No More]

Sometimes I think we subconsciously look for confirmation bias.

If you are looking at men through the lens of them being absolute dickheads then you’ll probably see dickheads.

I’m not saying some men aren’t vile. I’m just saying, there are just as many that are pretty lovely & throughly decent folks.

 

[Torch]

Sometimes I think we subconsciously look for confirmation bias.

If you are looking at men through the lens of them being absolute dickheads then you’ll probably see dickheads.

I’m not saying some men aren’t vile. I’m just saying, there are just as many that are pretty lovely & throughly decent folks.

Sure. And.
When one's situation of birth is being surrounded by men who behave like dickheads, it's easy to conclude that there is a high probability that there are more men out there who behave like dickheads.

 

[whiteraven]

Right there with you. I actually wrote about all the ways men have harmed me in my diary recently, and it was actually way more than I realized. I mostly don't like people in general, but men top that list.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

I don't hate men. Or share the same anger.
And it makes me wonder why actually.

I'm very glad I'm gay and don't need to deal with men in my intimate relationships or household. I think it's much easier being a feminist without having to navigate living arrangements with men. As I see so many women do all the household chores whilst also working and parenting and talk about their male partners "baby sitting" the children. Blows my mind at times.

But I don't hate men. Despite a number harming me.
But also my mother harmed me. So...

I was just in a meeting yesterday where a man was so beautifully eloquent with what he said. Emotionally mature and kind. I really took to him. It probably shouldn't be notible when a male is like that. But given the world is a shit show of hate at the moment, I cherish those moments of connection when someone shows kindness to others. On this occasion it was a male.

I think humans are just vile generally. And we're a blip in the history of the universe. That we should and will be wiped out before long given we're in climate breakdown. And then the world will recover without us humans and carry on.
So maybe my anger is more human species wide?

You are spot on, we are the only species that fouls its own nest.

 

[Sideways]

You are spot on, we are the only species that fouls its own nest.

I work with dogs, and I can guarantee you this is not true.

And I definitely hear the pain being expressed in this thread. There are certain groups of the human race that trigger the shit out of me and I get pretty irrational pretty damn quick, and it’s not all entirely undeserved.

But…men are not inherently bad. To the contrary, many (most) men are as good and as bad as many (most) women.

There’s so many factors at play here. Confirmation bias is a necessary strategy our brain uses to function in the world - it’s not a flaw, it’s a necessity. But it has its obvious downsides. There’s also the changed dynamics that generate high levels of revictimisation for folks like us that have suffered major interpersonal trauma - if it feels like the shitheads of the world seem to have gravitated towards you ever since your first trauma? That’s potentially not just your imagination, or even confirmation bias - there’s multiple reasons that happens.

There are, finally, some really amazing men in my life, after several decades of being pretty much immersed in the dregs of humanity.

As a woman, I just want to say that I’m grateful there are men on the planet, I value them being here, and I don’t believe the generic hate is helpful (even if it makes a lot of sense to me).

If you have a shit person in your life bringing you down, cut them out, and replace them with the valuable contribution to your life that you deserve. If you don’t allow any men into your life because you’ve had so many bad experiences that you just can’t anymore, I get it. But the bulk of men out there don’t deserve this sort of vitriol being directed at them, any more than we women do.

You don’t have to look far to find examples of shit men. You don’t have to look far to find some pretty damn awesome ones, either.

 

[user27357]

I am not going to defend men in general. As a good man with strong feelings of remorse for any hurtful things I have done to any person it is hard for me to be associated with the dickheads, and it would be very unfair for me to defend men in general and put the good men in any group with the dickheads.
Men are stronger, and driven by the desire for sex. Thats not an excuse but it is a root of the problem when it comes to men abusing women physically. Fact of life, like weather and gravity, it doesn't stop or go away.
The catalyst that turns normal sex seeking men into assholes is selfishness.
It sucks that there are males that cause harm without remorse. They need to be removed to a special place where all the selfish people get confined to a life spent with other selfish people. Drunk drivers, deadbeat fathers, white collar criminals, fascist politicians, anyone of either sex that chases their own desires in spite of the harm it causes others.
You can throw your nets wherever you like and if you want to round all men together and cause them harm who am I to judge? But hey, why not solve a bigger problem and round up all the selfish people? If you think you are going to put all the people that could harm you in one group I think you would be better suited with a larger net aimed at more than one sex.
There ARE good people, some are men. Do you doubt that? Keep looking.
I try to get past the blanket judgement it is so easy to accept and instead search for selflessness in other people. I have to admit that most of my trusted friends are women, but there are good men I know and trust. The trouble is, they also accept the facts that some men are selfish dickheads they don't want to associate with and they too have strong filters in place that put every other man in doubt. It makes it harder for any of us to get through another mans filters and thats the way it goes.
I find selfless people and I keep looking for more. Maybe casting your net over the selfish people will catch more people but will also allow you to seek people to trust from a narrower group that includes both sexes?