When I was first diagnosed with PTSD I too took a back seat on pretty much everything I was involved in. Not because I couldn't or lost my talents, but mostly I knew I couldn't commit to teaching children, playing on the worship team etc... when I had so much bitterness and anger towards God. I won't play or sing if I don't mean what I say. I also had no idea what each night would bring - ie flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares - I didn't know from 1 day to the next what would look like.
I did hide away for a while, but once I was able to speak out a bit, I found out later that just by being real with my closest friends (who knew nothing about the ptsd) was more encouraging for them than hiding in the closet have been - which is what I wanted to do. They didn't know about the real trauma, just that I had had a very difficult medical experience and was struggling to recover.
If in my position I was able to reach others without trying, I would really encourage you
@sonicwhite not to disappear but rather just be you in a different capacity. I'm doing a lot now behind the scenes because I just can't be up in front of people. I don't sing on the team, but I organize and set up the monthly rosters. It's a need that I can fill, so I do it. Very few people have a clue where it comes from, just that it's organized on a spreadsheet and easily available.
I don't know where you're at in your faith. I pretty much lost mine. It's a long healing journey, but your humility and acknowledging that there is a reason to "step down" from where you've been serving is huge. You're in a position where you probably have to say something about it - give some sort of reason, but that doesn't mean it's the end. Like has already been said, actions speak louder than words. Stepping aside for the right reasons is soooo much better and gives a much better example than those who talk the talk, but never walk their talk.
I applaud you!
