I'm Suffering Depression

[Changing4Best]

Since the day after the election and just in general since the Christmas season has started, I am depressed. I have no family close by, I live alone. My husband passed away in 2005 and I was never able to have children. So now that all my friends are in love with their grandchildren, I am without any to kids or grandkids to cherish.

I have no official invitation for Christmas day. The Senior Center will be closed on the Friday and Monday and Tuesday of the Christmas weekend as well as the Saturday and Sunday that it is always closed on, so I am looking at 5 days of being alone without my friends nor any family.

Everyone else will be with family, and I would just be the outsider, so no one has invited me. Other years I have been able to hint that I will be alone that day and would appreciate an invitation, but this year such hints are falling on deaf ears so far.

I bought some presents, sent some cards, will be sending more cards and did some wrapping of gifts today. That helped a little.

I bought myself a radio. That was my Christmas present to ME. It was an expensive radio too, as I live out in the mountains and reception here is limited in general to one country station, and country is not my fav style of music. This radio plays the classical station that is 2 hours from here or more by car. I am delighted that I bought it at least. Now I can listen to all kinds of stations, as it picks up stations from all around the world. It has AM, FM and short wave.

Back to the depression. It comes and goes. One of my problems is that I am laying in bed a lot. Another is that I am not enjoying some of the things I usually get enjoyment from. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar as well as the PTSD (which is from childhood molestation and an adult rape). I also have Seasonal Effect Disorder.

I have had many adverse reactions to various meds. I almost died from one, and another ended me up in the hospital for 8 days. I also tend to get low blood sodium easily and so I am choosing to go WITHOUT AN ANTIDEPRESSANT.

What do you do to combat depression? Any suggestions would be very welcome. I know exercise is important. I have been going out for walks. That does seem to help. However, I hate the cold and it is getting colder by the day and winter has not even officially started yet! Reading is good. I have a book that is a collection of poetry that is supposed to raise one's mood. But that is all I can think of!

 

[Bliss]

Hi, I don't have any wonder cures, but wanted to say I am in a similar situation, by myself, camping m for Christmas and new years. I can tell u the things that help me. Like u my radio is awesome, I read, my dog really helps, I am never really alone, spirtual connection, eating alot of protein and I think the biggest as far as the holidays goes is knowing how tons if people are alone, and many that are with others were probably wishing they were alone! I've been alone for most holidays the last ten years, it's not really any harder than the other days, I don't feel there is something wrong with me anymore for being alone at holidays and that helps alot. I think relying on our faith is most helpful too. Wishing u well

 

[Changing4Best]

I like your idea that it is OK and maybe even desirable to be alone at this time. I had not thought about finding myself with someone or a bunch of someones that I would rather not be with. I love my family, a sister and her 2 adult children. Her husband is nice too. I have some cousins, they and I are Facebook friends at least.

One year my pastor invited me for Christmas. That was delightful, but we have a different pastor now and this one would not want to invite me as they have young children and I might be kind of out of place in their gathering.

What I did do was to ask that pastor who ended up inviting me if there was anyone in the congregation that might be willing to invite a poor widow for Christmas supper, and he invited me! I wonder if I ask this pastor that, if she might suggest someone or might even do the asking for me. It is so embarrassing to ask to be invited....

 

[Bliss]

I like your idea that it is OK and maybe even desirable to be alone at this time. I had not thought...

Not sure if I am doing this reply thing right we will see what happens, may be a long quote!

I was just thinking about how I came to know there were alot of people who were alone at the holidays and become ok with it, because the first few that was the problem, I felt shame, like a loser, when on most days I am ok with being alone

It was going to community meals that churches sponsored, there were tons of people and volunteers were all having a ball, it was alot of fun, would that be an option, if nothing else comes up, don't know how far into mountains u are

 

[Deleted member 541]

@SheilaKathy first off, have your vitamin D level checked. When it's low, depression sets in very fast. 60% of the population above the Georgia line is deficient in Vit D. If yours is low, I suggest VIT D 3 not straight D. And trying to get your level to at least 50 or higher. 30 is considered optimal, but higher is better. Also look into buying a happy light, as they aren't really that expensive.

I have no one either, and haven't for many years. My closest friend lives in MI and I'm in Ma. My daughter, grandchildren and I are estranged and have been off and on for the past 25 yrs, so I don't see them either. I just try and look at it likes it's just another day. It doesn't bother me anymore. It's a day off and just another day of the week as far as I'm concerned.

I think instead of focusing on what you will be missing, try to focus on what you do have, and it will only be a few days. Maybe volunteering at a homeless shelter??????

 

[Changing4Best]

My psychiatrist is supposed to prescribe some Effexor for me today, as recommended by my MD. They had to work together, because of my tendency to have low blood sodium. As to Vit D3, I take 5000 IUs of it per day. Last I heard from them, it was "too high" and they advised that I stop taking it, but I am continuing to do so anyway. I know it helps.

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug::hug::hug: @SheilaKathy .

 

[Deleted member 541]

@SheilaKathy Just be very careful with the VIT D. Levels 100 and over, you become toxic and can develope hypercalcemia, which can actually cause depression, amoung other things.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@SheilaKathy Do your Drs have a cause for your Hyponatremia? I had it once due to medication and having Central Diabetes Insipidus. Didn't even know I had it, and was only caught because Dr had ordered blood test. Mine was so low that when dr called me, he wanted me to eat 2 teaspoons of salt ASAP. Nope didn't do it. LOL!!! Salt is gross....

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, salt IS gross! I agree. I will ask about my Vit D level after this upcoming blood test, thanks for the info!

 

[Changing4Best]

The hyponutremia seems to be caused by conpound issues, one being some of the meds I take and some being just my natural makeup. Either way, I drink a sports drink to offset it.

 

[barefoot]

Sorry to hear you are struggling with this at the moment, Sheila. Christmas can certainly be a very challenging time of year for many people - either because people feel lonely or because people don't want to spend it with certain people they "have" to spend it with!

What I did do was to ask that pastor who ended up inviting me if there was anyone in the congregation that might be willing to invite a poor widow for Christmas supper, and he invited me! I wonder if I ask this pastor that, if she might suggest someone or might even do the asking for me. It is so embarrassing to ask to be invited....

I'm wondering if you could maybe let your pastor know that you will be alone for Christmas and that you would rather have some company, so does he know anyone else in similar circumstances as perhaps you could get together and help each other out?

If he does know someone else (or maybe others plural) in the same boat and you could do something together, you asking him the question will have helped others too who would otherwise have been alone. And, phrasing the question that way, it doesn't sound like you are asking him to invite you himself - because it sounds as though the thought of fishing for an invite directly from him makes you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable.

And, of course, asking the question about others, he may still invite you himself anyway!

If not though, I guess I would echo what others have suggested: either seeing it as just another day if that helps or celebrating it as a special day however you would like to do that....what would make the day special for you because you have the freedom to do whatever! I like the idea of consciously switching your focus to what you do have and what you are grateful for - I know that can be very tricky when you're feeling low, but practising self-compassion and gratitude can be powerful mood lifters. And exploring any volunteering opportunities over the Christmas break is also a good idea, depending on what you have in your area.

I hope the meds help you to settle/improve your mood and that the holiday season gets better for you.