Inability To Express Tender Feelings

[godhelpusoneandall]

I think this must be part of the PTSD Syndrome. My vet, since he had his breakdown seems unable to display much affection. He has complex PTSD from living in an abusive enviroment as a child, but he was still able to give tender affection. Now, no. I know he cares deeply for me, but he seems so very cold. Thoughts and comments, would be appreciated. Kat

 

[Manic11]

Kat,

I have lost so many friends because I cannot open up or express my feelings. Many tell me that I just don't care or I don't trust them. The fact is, even if I trust someone with my life, I don't know how to open up. I try my hardest but I just don't know how! It's so difficult.
Stand by him. I know it only made it worse when I lost friends.
As for how to get him to open up more?
I wish I had the answer...
Then maybe I'd be a better friend?

Good luck to the both of you.
Manic

 

[godhelpusoneandall]

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this, Manic. It must be frustrating and hurtful to have emotions you are unable to express locked inside. Do you feel the emotion and just can't release it? Have you always been that way or just since you developed PTSD. It will help me to understand "how" he senses emotion internally.
Thanks so much for your response. Kat

 

[Manic11]

Sometimes I feel the emotion and just don't know what it is. Where as other times, something will happen and I won't feel anything about it when I know I should.
I have apparently had PTSD since I was very young so I don't know when this started. I do, however, know that when I was growing up I was taught not to feel anything. Everything is good all the time. If I was ever upset, then I should shut up because someone has it worse than I do. So when I felt upset or sad, I finally learned to tell myself to cut it out or else I'll get beat or I'll look pathetic or weak.
Now, it feels like okay I'm feeling this emotion, I want to express it. When I try to put it into words and tell someone its like my brain just shuts off and I can't think of what to say. Like when a word is on the tip of your tongue but you just can't think of it no matter how hard you try. That's a very similar feeling except the trouble is I can't find any words to speak.
The only thing that comes out is "I don't know".

Does he know about this forum? Maybe show him the thread? See if this is how he feels? Maybe it will help him voice his feelings a little bit?

Manic

 

[CCurry]

Hi Kat,

When David is in what I call a fog, he cannot express any emotion. Physically he's there but he's just a shell.

Having said that, once he's past that he shows tons of emotion and is constantly hugging my kids and me. If he should die suddenly I know without a doubt that he did love me, he tells me about 10 - 20 times a day. I'm lucky that way!

He says he's like this because he's never quite sure that his army buddies knew how much he loved them before they died. Makes sense but we are really quite pathetic with all the "I love you's" during our work day.

Carmela