Infraction System

[Nicolette]

Hi Faith

While I can appreciate what you are saying how do you suggest we maintain a forum with over 1,000 active members and create a general standard without us having to spend the greater part of our day writing personalised messages to everyone? Like other aspects of life, there are rules/guidelines which need to be followed for the benefit of the community. How do you manage that if you don't have a standardised system? Without the infraction system it was getting out of control and now, from what I see, offenders seem to take it more seriously now which is for the benefit of all.

If you speed you get a speeding fine....full stop! The police don't care if you were running late or your mother was sick or you had to get home for the kids. It's just something you have to adapt to. If you told the police you had PTSD they would not change their decision either. As a member of this forum you join agreeing to follow the rules. It's just the way it is.

 

[Nicolette]

Oh, by the way, I also wanted to add that all members generally get a warning first (not an actual infraction) and there is some personalisation as we (time permitting) let you know how to fix the problem.

 

[anthony]

Anthony and Nicolette maybe that's not your intentions, but the fact is some people will feel that way (PTSD or not) because of questionable rules such as the grammatical rules. Are such rules as that really necessary?

Yes... they are. We have had the system available to use for well over a year now, though not used it for reasons as you mention. Saying that... it was taking more and more time to get through issues with members. The end result was still the same though... whether we PM'd them or give an infraction through an automated system, they member still got irritated, abusive or irrational about the notification. The end result is still the same... you will always have people who just don't want to follow rules. PTSD is not an excuse to not follow community rules. Trauma is not an excuse to not follow community rules. As Nicolette mentions... neither is an excuse to ignore community rules in society.

So, it would seem to me and I think a lot of others that that would be more important than grammar.

I had a member just PM me recommending I mention about grammar, paragraphing, etc... as they just cannot manage to read posts because they become so difficult for someone with trauma to read. There are reasons for some rules... especially paragraphing and grammar... as it allows a trauma sufferer to break-up their reading to read in smaller bites, instead of having to lose their place and they just get the shits, then stop reading all together. Then the poster often gets offended because nobody is responding to their posts. Vicious cycle... all of which we have found from experience, not just making things up here. This forum has been around for years now and the rules have been developed as issues have arisen to the point where the majority agreed it was an issue.

I concur... rules should be evaluated. I guarantee you that if you put the rules up for post you will still find the majority accept the current rules because the majority developed them. I typically only get one or two who have an issue, debate the rules, etc. Not the majority.

Maybe instead of eliminating people in that way, because two people don't have enough time to maintain such a large forum, you should elicit some help from other's in the editorial dept.?

We do that also, however; many endup burnt out. Just ask past editors... many often don't last long because it becomes a distraction to their own healing and often result in a breakdown. Again... history dictates this to us.

I hope this doesn't come across as offensive; it's not intended that way. However I think a lot of people feel the same way.

No, not offensive at all. Yes, we do care about others. The majority though do not seem to backup what you are saying here... with your thought of feeling the same. The majority of active members often PM me or reply that the rules are current, accurate and reflect the majority values for what they want in the forum. Some things are just not up for debate also... being how to edit the forum overall. The majority don't want to take on the headache, so they don't get a say in those aspects.

It is like the one here and there that has an issue with our policy of no links. They may very well have a valid website or be referring a valid website, however; once again that then makes editing that much harder by having to choose which are valid vs. which are not and are removed. This also opens up the forum for many spammers.... one time posters who make a post for the sheer purpose of getting a link, typically with some hyped up nonsense.

All policies and rules here are based on the years of experience in running this forum and others. They are not just madeup or introduced lightly.

Good questions and thank you... I hope this helps any others understand.

 

[Grama-Herc]

Anthony,

Thank you for reminder> The occasional reminder of "The Rules" always helps. Especially the part about paragraphs.

I guess I have ADD or something, because it is virtually impossible for me to concentrate long enough to understand or finish a L O N G one paragraph thread.

I know that I have to watch myself on this issue. I get wound up some times and go off on a tangent and before I know it I have a "HUGE" single paragraph rant! I got off on something one time and when I re read my thread I had not included a single punctuation mark---it was a mess so I just deleted the whole thing.

Lately, I have been ignoring completely any thread that is just to long and has no paragraphs and that actually is not fair. I know I am missing a lot of useful information and opportunities to maybe help someone.

So Anthony, thanks for bring up the subject of paragraphs. It helps when you remind us of these things.

 

[midi]

Yeah, I too, skip over long paragraphs. I can't read them.

 

[fin]

I dont think its ADD Grama-Herc, I'm pretty sure it isn't, I have the same thing...I can open up to read something and there just seems to be an insurmountable mountain of words starring back at me, and it just feels overwhelming.
And I know I have to break when I read also as it gets hard to stay with the some of what we read and not be triggered some...and I find when I come back that I have no-idea where I was just 5 minutes before. Some of it is down to concentration with me also, but I know we cant be the only ones.

Grama when I have found myself doing the same thing and writing one long continuous paragraph...I either quickly read back through (if I can ) and put in breaks/paragraphs...even if they are a bit of a mess I figure it is still easier for someone else to read . And they get the idea of what it is from it.
If I cant but feel that I have written something that was important to me to get out, then I try to cut and paste it into notepad at home...then take a small break come back and then edit it and then paste back to here.

I tend to write on here directly but I think maybe I need to write off here and then paste.
The thing also....(am off now,,,sorry LOL) the thing also is that I can sometimes find myself editing and editing and not posting and putting it off. Or posting and rambling some...But that tends to be in my diary...so I can live with it better there.

of course I now have to post before I get down that whole am I rambling thing again, wher my confidence goes and I dont post, because I think that I have nothing to say that anyone would get anything from.....aye yi yi!! (that aye bit didnt look right either!)
ok just post fin

~fin

OMG !! have just seen it...am sorry I go on some.

 

[Tinyflame]

I can't "do" the paragraphs, either, Grama-Herc.

 

[Faith Hoffen]

Thank you Anthony and Nicolette. You did answer all my questions.:)

 

[jeapea]

Thanks Anthony,

The FAQ section was what I meant when I said I did go there.. but couldn't seem to retain the information long enough to get my post on here.. or I simply misunderstood it... You're right, it IS very involved... so now I use notepad BEFOREhand in most cases.

and

I agree with Gramma Herc, too. Maybe I have ADHD along with everything else...
Just have a hard time of it some days... I can get my poop in a group.. but that doesn't mean it's going to stay that way very long.

Not in any way trying to excuse my mistakes... or justify them... my point was.. when in doubt, the rules aren't the problem, so just use notepad.

 

[anthony]

Trouble with reading is not an ADD thing... it is a PTSD issue. The simple fact that your brain is within an anxious state, has endured such trauma, often changes aspects of your memory retention, which means simple things like reading. A PTSD sufferer will typically have to break reading into small parts, paragraphs, etc. Reading a book can often be tedious in that it may only be possible to read a few pages per day. It is merely the effect trauma has had upon the brain.

Saying that, it like most symptoms can be fixed. It is an effect of trauma, however; by exposure you can actually retrain the brain to be able to read more effectively once again by doing it. Read books... you will find it hurts the first few pages, chapters, though the further you get through a book the better you get. The more books you read the better you become at reading itself. The more you read the better your brain opens its channels to memory retention and so forth. This is fact... not fiction. PTSD hinders reading, however; one does not need PTSD to be hindered in reading. Some find it fascinating, some just don't. It is one of those things that must be done often to maintain effectiveness at. If you stop reading books for example for six months, when you pickup a book again your reading skills will be lesser than they where before. Again, you don't need PTSD to become better or worse at reading. PTSD does hinder, yes... but it can be overcome with exposure.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks, Anthony.

I used to have to read volumes of material, then I didn't read a book for at least 10 years and thought that was why my ability to get through more than a few pages/ retain it (or my memory, in general) was "gone for good".

Gives me hope!

 

[fin]

thankyou anthony from me also

I am starting to find some on and off improvement just by coming here, wanting to read to get better, and wanting to read to understand others, and now wanting to read to be able to find out how people are doing.

Some days are off days and I just cant take it in, but more days now are better.
Thankyou like Junebug said; it gives me hope...also.