Inner Apocalypse....

[Rani G2]

Hey,

how do you find that courage to face reality every single day? You wake up, and you need to keep on moving.

Depression got reduced during the last few years , I made tiny steps. But I face these moments when things fall apart.

I find it hard to be with humans.

Shankara

 

[VioletButterfly]

When I'm having a difficult time, I remember a suggestion from my last T. I split my day down into the smallest components and strive to do one thing at a time and not deal with the whole picture of the day. For example, I have a list that I may aim to accomplish, but it may well turn out to be a day where I can shower, eat breakfast, take vitamins and that's it. Or, it may be a day where I can accomplish my entire list.

Reality isn't something that I take on as I don't really control a large part of that in my life. I don't feel that I have the strength. I've turned a lot of it over to my higher power and have had to change the way I think about life. I look to do what I can do each day and shoot for building my strength, but accepting myself where I am each day as it can vary greatly. When I'm doing better, I do try to keep to my routine each day of self care and being compassionate with myself.

I don't do well around people either unless they are friendly. I spend much of my life alone in my apartment. I do appreciate the kindness of strangers when going to the market or bank as that is about all the interaction I have most days unless I'm on an assignment. I don't know how I'll do when I am in the workplace each day. I seemed to do okay during my temp assignment except for the boss who harassed me and now I'm having to quit, but I at least I know my noodle and skills are still intact. The political side of relationships and adversity, however, I did not deal so gracefully with. I don't like adversity. I can't seem to manage that very well.

I hope some of that helps. VB

 

[Snowflake]

I break down my day by hours and even minutes sometimes. If I look at the whole day I panic and have suicidal thoughts.

 

[Rani G2]

Hey Violetbutterfly and snowflake

thanks for your replies. There is a huge void, I dont know what to write. I feel pure hopelessness.

@Snowflake I feel very similar, dont have the suicidal thoughts, but its hard to live and breathe

 

[Friday]

Keep moving.

Tomorrow & tomorrow can suck it. For true, sometimes I just need to kick my own ass so I can start concentrating on how much my ass hurts, and get my fight back, instead of worrying about all the <waves hand around in air> other... Which hasn't happened, yet. Which will come in its own good time. Or not. And we'll burn that bridge when we get there.

If I can't see a future? Fine. We've got right now. Now isn't forever. It keeps changing. But now is what we can actually do something about. Even if it's just get through it.

 

[Ronin]

how do you find that courage to face reality every single day?

Courage, I don't.

But it's a challenge slash obstacle slash annoyance in my way & I'm happy removing shit blocking my way. Of which reality can be one. Faster returned to happy activities that are self & soul restoring that way, too.

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug: