Inner child

[Snowflake]

I feel like my inner child is dead. In my mind she was murdered long ago, buried in some unmarked grave. She was unable to have the childhood and family every child should have. She can never experience childhood again, never be rescued, loved, adopted. She’s gone.
Anyone else feel like this?

 

[Skywatcher]

I think “inner child” is a hard thing to grasp since my inner people are all different ages. Is the inner child what single trauma people have?

 

[Snowflake]

I think “inner child” is a hard thing to grasp since my inner people are all different ages. Is the inner child what single trauma people have?

I have multiple traumas. I guess it’s one of my inner children that I feel is dead. Not all.

 

[Friday]

Is the inner child what single trauma people have?

Therapeutically speaking, with trauma, it’s a form of avoidance. It distances what happened onto “someone or something else” / “not me, them”, which allows things too big to be looked at first person, to be looked at in the 3rd person. The goal, of course, is to eventually reduce the avoidance down to nil. Instead of it happened to her when she was three, or him when he was 25? It happened to me when I was three, or to me when I was 25. Instead of what she needs is XYZ, it’s what I need, etc.

The concept of an inner child isn’t solely owned by trauma, or PTSD/CPTSD... it’s been a metaphor, simile, or reality used by almost everyone everywhere in recorded history. As have non-anthro representations (the wolves in my heart, the tiger of my soul, the cherry blossom, the reed) all representing different aspects depending on the culture in question.

Like all therapeutic tools that make use of existing symptoms, avoidance -in many forms- can be used wisely to great effect, badly to terrible effect, or middling/mediocrely to muddy effect. Depending on the skill of the therapist themselves.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think maybe she is hiding because she doesn’t feel safe. I had to talk to mine and assure her that I would protect her no matter what, and soon enough she started to emerge. Her existence clashes with adult life and relationships so sadly I haven’t seen her in awhile. This makes me sad.

 

[Lynxx]

I feel like my inner child is dead. In my mind she was murdered long ago, buried in some unmarked grave. She was unable to have the childhood and family every child should have. She can never experience childhood again, never be rescued, loved, adopted. She’s gone.
Anyone else feel like this?

Snowflake, I mentioned to a friend this evening that I felt like my inner child had died. I didn't even know you had written this in the forum, until I started making a new thread. That us where I found you posting.
I relate a lot to having a dead inner child. She never had a childhood, she never had friends, all she saw was awful misery and I know she was in a lot of distress. I believe my inner child died from neglect.
I live will guilt knowing I let my inner child down. Yet, I've tried writing to her. I got a few words written on paper but I don't know what to say. I don't feel like anything thing I write will make her believe I'm being genuine - that is if she still exists somewhere inside. If she does she hiding in the deepest, darkest shadows.

 

[Snowflake]

Exactly! I’m working on this in therapy. Trying to reach her. It’s extremely exhausting.

 

[DharmaGirl]

After about a year of therapy, I felt my inner child peeking out to see if it was safe. I didn't try to contact her, she just came out. I bought stuff she wanted within reason, and visualized me holding and rocking her.