Intense attachment, help

[Stephernovas]

You're not dealing with PTSD, so you can possibly skip the 'iron the trauma crease out of your brain' bit and get right to the building better cognitive processes bit.

Wait. You don’t have PTSD? I’m quite confused. I thought this forum was for people who have the diagnosis, and if you don’t, you identify as a supporter. I don’t know about you all, but that’s important to me to be clear.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

No official diagnosis.... but people have suggested possibly the C-PTSD due to childhood issues.... but I've never brought it up in therapy. I probably should ask about it next time. I'm interested to know myself

 

[Stephernovas]

Uh, what kind of people?

 

[Deleted member 42665]

Uh, what kind of people?

Please stick to my thread topic, thanks.

 

[Stephernovas]

Well I would, but I am only interested in speaking with other people legitimately struggling with PTSD. I was under the impression those on this site were diagnosed and it was completely confirmed - much like a peer support forum. I get uncomfortable and frustrated when people come on here and 'play PTSD', because to me, you don't truly get what I (and others) are challenged with daily.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

Well I would, but I am only interested in speaking with other people legitimately struggling with...

So you are better than me? Interesting, I didn't realize that and I never claimed to play anything, if you followed my other posts you would of seen I was open about not having it. I'm done posting here, so tired of being lectured because I'm not exactly you, my struggles are not important etc. Bye, sorry to intrude on your life and assume all people suffering could support one another.

 

[Stephernovas]

So you are better than me

Actually that is not what I said at all. However, I do find it interesting that it sounds like others have felt the same way and voiced their opinions. I don't have time to scour this site to find all of your posts to know what's going on with you at all times. I did state that I personally understood and appreciated that those who are not diagnosed on this site, but as supporters, or in another section of this forum, specifically under 'other disorders', or 'general'.

Also, I'm not sure why would you assume someone thinks they are better than you? Nothing about this diagnosis makes one person better than another, nor do I think myself in any way as better than anyone else. Furthermore, no one said your struggles were not important. I did highlight that I felt it was important to note that you aren't a sufferer. Given what people have been through and where they are at, it sounds to me like most people want PEER (PTSD) advice. Personally, if I'm struggling with a PTSD symptom, I want to know if the person I'm speaking with truly knows what I'm experiencing, or is a supporter trying to understand. To me, there's a HUGE difference.

 

[Emotional girl]

@DogLover33 I know we had a slight falling out on your other thread and for that I am sorry but I was honestly just looking out for you.
When I have read your posts I can see alot of me and I think we are quite similar.
I orginally went to see my T with PTSD but after a while we discovered that I have CPTSD as well.
I do believe that certain things that happen in your childhood have a massive impact on you as an adult and that is why attachment and abandonment problems happen in therapy.
My therapist has told me in order to deal with my attachment and abandonment problems I have to look at my core beliefs because basically they are at the root of all my problems and that is the biggest thing I need to work on.
Have you talked to your therapist about your core beliefs?
I know it is going to be hard but you also need to talk about your childhood.The hardest thing I had to do was discuss my dad in therapy but it made me realise why I have difficult relationships with men and that my therapist had everything my dad couldn't give me and that is so difficult to let go of.
I saw on your other thread that you are going to talk about your attachment and I think that is absolutely brilliant and you should be proud of yourself.
Wishing you all the best with the rest of therapy.

 

[Friday]

Personally, if I'm struggling with a PTSD symptom, I want to know if the person I'm speaking with truly knows what I'm experiencing, or is a supporter trying to understand. To me, there's a HUGE difference.

This is one of the excellent uses of the Ignore Feature.

There’s almost always a small minority of people on the site who do not have PTSD, don’t think they may have PTSD, are not supporting someone with PTSD, nor are a student/researcher investigating PTSD... but are here for their own reasons.

Placing such people on ignore when you stumble across them hides their threads and posts and unmuddies the waters.

If you need any help using the feature, please open a help ticket.

If you -or anyone else- would like to continue the discussion of PTSD Peer Support vs General Mental Health Peer Support, please start a new thread.

 

[guest]

Has anyone ever talked to you about Borderline Personality Disorder and "Favorite People"?

I read some of your other posts and (for me) it sounds like your therapist has become your "favorite person" and this is why you are in part so strongly attached.

 

[hithere]

What helped me is #1: quit trying to escape the feelings and allow myself to feel them fully. Lean into the distressing attachment emotions. They were deeply rooted and there was a cause to them. For me it was: Trust=Warm Feelings=Attachment=Terror/Pain. (fear of abandonment) When I felt "good" feelings at first, those caused the distress. I learned to Lean into the good feeling and allow myself to feel the warm, cared for feelings. When I allowed myself to feel the positive feelings and stop fighting them, it lessened. It helped me to feel positive feelings from the t , to sit and allow the positive feelings and not punish myself for wanting that or needing it. by just allowing myself to be human and allow those warm feelings, I found that they lessened eventually and I could work something out from the past. #2 when the feelings of future loss of the t came with their terrorizing feelings, I allowed those feelings and leaned into the grief and fear. There was a belief "I can't survive without them" I really allowed this to flow through me, (and have an awareness that I was grieving a broken attachment from the past traumas.) So with the belief "I can't survive these feelings" I leaned into them hard and I allowed those feelings to just slay me. It felt like I was being killed slowly. I allowed those feelings and they ran their course eventually. They popped up again and again and each time they popped up I allowed every ounce of painful feelings. I basically allowed my entire being to feel every single feeling of suffering and it passed through my body like waves of pain. The fear of future abandonment began to lessen.

 

[Deleted member 42665]

I got so many notifications in my email I decided to come read what people were saying. I quickly wanted to address a few things

Emotional Girl-- yes we are gonna work on core beliefs and attachment issues. We have not really dived into the childhood too much as he likes to focus on the here and now more.... but maybe we will try to dig into it. The problem with me, is due to my job, I still have nearly daily interaction with my abusive mom. Makes progress even harder to make...

As for the person who asked about BPD... my T works with people like that, does not think I have it. He thinks I am more avoidant personality. Generally I do not attach to people. Ever. I keep them at a distance. I would not say he is my favorite person per say but probably the one I felt cared the most, but after what happened, things are different now. I don't feel as cared about etc anymore, Its tough and I have to make myself
stop caring about him somehow.... so I'm working on that.

Thanks for the people who supported me, sorry I got upset but Its tiring when people harp on me for coming here. My struggles are awful too and I also need support, there no reason we can't support each other. I don't post on the other parts of the forum because this is a therapy part and that's where I need the most support.