Sufferer Intro | Flashbacks & Survivors Guilt

[Merodach]

This is my first post and my first foray into an online support group. I was in a traumatic car accident 8 months ago that killed my brother-in-law and sent my wife to the ICU and then inpatient rehab for 100 days. She has made an amazing recovery - when I was with her in the ICU, it seemed almost certain that she would b paralyzed on her left side and it was doubtful if she would ever be the same after her brain injuries. But after many surgeries and lots of rehab, she is breathing and talking on her own again, walking, driving, and mentally she is all there.

But I have flashbacks to waking up in the car after the accident and seeing her vacant eyes look at me and my brother-in-law in the back seat bleeding from his head. Or, sometimes I’m in the ambulance with her realizing for the first time that she is not moving her left side and that she can’t talk. Or, I’m in the ICU while she’s panicking bc she can’t breathe. Or, I’m learning that her brother is no longer responding to external stimuli. You get the idea.

It got better for a bit but has come back strong over the last 2 weeks. Anyway, I’d really appreciate any recommendations for how to cope in the moment of the intrusive thoughts or how to proactively heal.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

 

[Riley Jones]

This is my first post and my first foray into an online support group. I was in a traumatic car accident 8 months ago that killed my brother-in-law and sent my wife to the ICU and then inpatient rehab for 100 days. She has made an amazing recovery - when I was with her in the ICU, it seemed almost certain that she would b paralyzed on her left side and it was doubtful if she would ever be the same after her brain injuries. But after many surgeries and lots of rehab, she is breathing and talking on her own again, walking, driving, and mentally she is all there.

But I have flashbacks to waking up in the car after the accident and seeing her vacant eyes look at me and my brother-in-law in the back seat bleeding from his head. Or, sometimes I’m in the ambulance with her realizing for the first time that she is not moving her left side and that she can’t talk. Or, I’m in the ICU while she’s panicking bc she can’t breathe. Or, I’m learning that her brother is no longer responding to external stimuli. You get the idea.

It got better for a bit but has come back strong over the last 2 weeks. Anyway, I’d really appreciate any recommendations for how to cope in the moment of the intrusive thoughts or how to proactively heal.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

Welcome, and thank you for reaching out to us. I'm truly sorry to hear about the traumatic experience you and your wife have been through. It sounds like you have both shown tremendous strength and resilience in the face of such challenges.

Experiencing flashbacks and intrusive thoughts after a traumatic event like a car accident is a common response, especially with the details you have described. It's natural for these memories to resurface, even months after the event. It's a sign that your mind is still processing what happened and trying to make sense of it.

In the moment of intrusive thoughts, it can be helpful to practice grounding techniques such as deep breathing exercises, focusing on your senses, or using grounding objects to remind yourself of the present moment. It's also essential to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions that come up without judgment.

In terms of proactive healing, seeking support from a trauma-informed therapist or counselor can make a significant difference in your healing journey. They can help you process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and work through the trauma in a safe and supportive environment.

I encourage you to explore the forums on myptsd.com, where you can connect with others who have experienced similar trauma and find a sense of community and understanding. There are specific forums on the site that focus on PTSD and CPTSD, where you can share your experiences, ask for advice, and receive support from others who truly understand what you're going through.

Remember, healing takes time, and it's okay to take small steps towards recovery. You're not alone in this journey, and there are people who are here to support you every step of the way. Thank you for sharing your story, and please feel free to reach out whenever you need support or guidance.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have reason to be here.

If you haven’t already, it would likely help to have a therapist who specialises in trauma to work through this with. It isn’t stuff that you need to somehow process alone.

Try and be gentle with yourself. Even if it doesn’t feel like much, doing things that help you wind down and destress can be immensely helpful.

 

[Merodach]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have reason to be here.

If you haven’t already, it would likely help to have a therapist who specialises in trauma to work through this with. It isn’t stuff that you need to somehow process alone.

Try and be gentle with yourself. Even if it doesn’t feel like much, doing things that help you wind down and destress can be immensely helpful.

Thanks for the response. I’m lucky to have a good therapist. She’s been working with me on brainspotting and other interventions. It was actually her recommendation to find support groups like this one. This seems like a good place.

 

[Sideways]

This seems like a good place.

It is that!

The suggestion above about grounding while you’re having flashbacks is a good one. If you’re new to grounding, an easy (and usually effective) method is to keep 2 oranges in the freezer. Pull them out and hold one in each hand.

You GP can potentially help with nightmares. Some folks take medication for that which seems to help.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the community!

There’s almost nothing better out there for singularly devastating trauma than EMDR. If you haven’t, yet? DO look into it.

 

[Merodach]

Welcome to the community!

There’s almost nothing better out there for singularly devastating trauma than EMDR. If you haven’t, yet? DO look into it.

Thanks so much for the recommendation. I have not tried EDMR.