Is Avoidance Best?

[pumpkin13]

Hello,
I've been "diagnosed" with PTSD about 2 years ago. My sister told me she was sexually abused as a teenager, but couldn't talk about it until now. Since then I have never been the same. The first 6 months or so I did not react, I was proud of myself thinking "oh I'm handling this pretty well", etc. Little did I know that panic attack, crying spells, severe anxiety at night would hit me. Whenever the subject is mentioned on TV, in a movie, in a conversation, I just retreat to the bathroom and cry, feeling helpless. I finally decided to skip avoidance and seek help, seeing a therapist (Cognitive behavior). She made me talk about it, go into details, then out of the blue looks at me ans says: "we're running out of time. Let's pick this up next week". I lost it. I started crying, and felt absolutely horrible about it for a week. I felt that this therapist (like many others) just open wounds, looks at the clock, takes the money and kicks you out. I don't really believe talking will help, maybe time will...
Since then I've made many attempts to seek help, but all therapists I've seen dont really seem to know what they're doing. I'm anti-psychiatry and anti-drugs, and I've notice they're very prone to inserting people in categories, not really trying to understand what's going on.
So the question is: is avoidance better? (that is, avoiding all triggers while doing yoga, meditation, and sports. hoping time will heal me?)
or should I keep looking for therapists, as destructive as that is for me? (I end up feeling like a hopeless case because if they cant help who can?)
Thank you so much for reading this

 

[Casey_03]

No no no no no! A million times - no! Avoidance isn't better. Especially not if you have the reactions to triggers that you do now. You have to power through the therapy, or at least talk to someone about this. It will get easier and you will gradually feel stronger. Avoidance will only set you back in recovery and probably cause more emotional turmoil, ultimately. Feeling horrible is just part of the process. That will happen a lot. You will hate the therapists you see simply because you are showing them a vulnerable side - that's normal. You can also try to get it all out on your own by doing something creative -- writing or painting, or something to let you express how you're feeling about your trauma. Write a letter that you will never send to anyone. Write it to whoever hurt you or whoever you're angry at, and say everything you want to say to them. You don't have to send it. But it will help take some things off your chest.

 

[claire east]

Casey right I written a six page letter to my abusers I never sent when I read it back I couldn't believe how graphic it was but it made me feel so much better I showed it to my counsellor she was amazed how brave I was I had a couple counsellor the first one was so crap I did two sessions then I changed the one I was with after I was with her nearly two years keep trying you will get there but don't ignore it it make it ten times worse I'm your head

 

[anthony]

Avoidance is a strategy, sure... and yes, therapy is very limited by time and often money. Talking is the best way through it, by you have to find the resolutions you're looking for as you travel. Talking is talking... if nothing is coming back, then you just go round in circles.

You're here... so ask the community specific questions and obtain diverse opinions in which you can pick and choose what to try, or what fits you best. Options, options, options, is often the best solution in healing trauma. There is no one way, but many paths lead to the same place... being reduced symptoms for you.

 

[Neverthesame]

Whenever the subject is mentioned on TV, in a movie, in a conversation, I just retreat to the bathroom and cry

Since this began, has this improved to a level that you no longer need to run to the bathroom to have a cry? Or will this be a persistent problem?

She made me talk about it

Did she teach you grounding exercises to help you deal with the escalation of symptoms?
This happens when dredging up all the stuff you have tried so hard to forget before you began therapy. It's normal to feel worse while in the thick of it.

we're running out of time. Let's pick this up next week". I lost it. I started crying, and felt absolutely horrible about it for a week

This would have been a good situation to have used the grounding tools I mentioned earlier.

If or when you go back to see her, tell her that you would like to learn some grounding tools. You may also want to ask your therapist to do a grounding exercise with you at the end of the session. This can help you to calm yourself so you don't leave the office feeling so upset.

Plus, it will also serve as a warning for you to know when your time is up. So you don't feel so blindsided by it.

Don't forget as well, that she likely had another appointment after yours.

is avoidance better? (that is, avoiding all triggers while doing yoga, meditation, and sports.

When avoidance behaviour is having a negative impact on your quality of life, then no.

But there's no harm in becoming active, if for no other reason than it being good to your overall health. No harm to try those things.

or should I keep looking for therapists, as destructive as that is for me?

Yes. There are lots of good ones out there, search long enough you'll find one. Seriously.

 

[Friday]

Check these out : :D

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/how-to-use-triggers-as-a-means-to-recovery.87557/

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/bubblize-ing-a-definition.50002/