Is It Hard For You To Stop When You Are Sick?

[Tinyflame]

I normally try to get to work irregardless, but oddly today I was sick and called in sick, because of the feedback from this thread to some degree.

I don't know if it's 'right', or not- I always feel 'wrong' to do so- my family never does and frowns upon it. I know people say ~take care of yourself first but that doesn't apply here (my family).
It also makes me feel weak and like a failure, so I don't know if it's a 'sane' choice or I'm not trying hard enough.

I also don't know if the stress is making me sick, or because I feel sick my abilty to manage the stress decreases. There are several people I see who have what I seem to have now, but still me-being-me I wonder if it's just my ~fault (not a virus?)

 

[The Albatross]

Unless I'm contagious, I do try to keep my regular schedule and push past it. My husband says I push too much... some friends do too. But underneath it is a fear, for me I am afraid to be at home alone.... because of the time I actively isolated. If I am at home for longer periods than a long weekend... I get really comfortable and don't want to go back out into the world. I just want to stay safe, quiet and at home. I have been working hard to chip away at it... but in my heart, I know it is an effort for me to maintain the motivation to work and shop... and when I get relieved of the responsibilities through an illness... I have to battle with myself and launch myself back out the door.

I was actively drinking at home alone... so I guess it's a healthy fear. But I do tend to push hard even when I'm sick to stick to my schedule.

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't know, I can't seem to give myself permission to be sick. I don't understand any of it, for other people it doesn't seem to them to be a big deal, for me it feels like blame or failiure or my fault or not legitimate.

I remember even throwing up in school when I was sick at 5 or 6 years old- the teacher (who was so nice and so gentle) said "WHY didn't you say anything?", and I felt so ashamed, like I disappointed her. Frankly I was too sick to say anything but I wouldn't have, never occurred to me.
And I remember another time in school (as a little kid) getting sick and my sister having to carry me home, though the rest is a blur, I didn't say anything then, either.

I guess somewhere I'm looking for someone to say it's 'ok', -though that is not likely right. But honest, I guess. -(?)

 

[Kim]

I can relate to the getting sick at school.

 

[kimba]

I can't stop unless something forces me to. I have to be so sick, injured or physically exhausted that I don't have a choice, then it will be "okay" to give in. If I don't catch a migraine soon enough, I'll end up in bed. I don't let that happen though and will take migraine preventative Excedrin first. I live alone and don't have friends that would stop by and I probably wouldn't let them help anyway. The old "I'm fine even if I'm dying": mentality.

 

[Gamereign555]

I have actually noticed that with me, when I get sick or are coming down with something that it is hard to notice sometimes and it will rather manifest itself as added anxiety. Sort of like the ptsd is the burn on my finger that makes me forget about the cut on my toe, overall yes I am in worse condition but I also feel as if being sick isn't felt as much as it used to be.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes, I don't feel guilty if I can't help it- I once felt sick - 'pushed it'/ passed out/ got a concussion (then I was convinced it was 'ok'), also do not feel 'getting sick' coming on. Thanks gamereign555, I should have remembered to look at my thoughts and have a better idea where they (may) be coming from.

My mom used to say it = no big deal (to get sick), better to just get better and a day or a few days wouldn't make a difference, anyway. It is just so hard for me to integrate that into my own mindset, though I have no trouble understanding that for others.