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Is it introversion or my traumas?

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CooCoo4CocoaPuffs

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Am I an introvert or is it my traumas? I ask this, in my own mind, often?

SPOILER: I am quiet, mostly silent, not verbose, not especially loud. I DO NOT TRUST PEOPLE. I have been beaten up, denigrated, threatened, violated (not in the SA meaning.) in multiple ways, on multiple occasions including by my parent. I learned from a young age I can only rely on myself.

I get triggered by weird people accosting me when I’m minding my own business. Like shouting comments. I cannot stand this.

Worse, I fear some maniac producing a weapon or worse, idk.

I’m fine(ish) in necessary social interactions like a doctor’s office or dentist office or a hair place or what-have-you.

Maniacal extroverts make me cringe and regret going anywhere. Shouting at me in their over-the-top way, like I OWE THEM my time and I exist for THEIR energy supply?!

Meh. I’m not in a good mental space, today.

Also, I f*cking hate when an extrovert asks me “how are you?” And I say, “fine” and they freak out, “JUST FINE?!”

Yes, b*tch, just fine. Fine is A LOT, for me and when I’m busy, in the “get through this agonizing social engagement” mode you get monosyllabic responses if I don’t know you! Gosh.
 
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