Is It Just f*cking Me?

[lostforgottensoul]

My dog is very well trained thank you, has the runs for the millionith time and yeah good in my step mom when she talks to me like shit every day and i have to care for her when she, oops, gets high again.

f*ck that!

 

[The Albatross]

I don't think I misread your opening post but I could be wrong. Carry on then.

 

[joeylittle]

Just one suggestion - the 25$ place that closes at 7 - ask them if anyone on staff would be interested in a little extra to take your dog home and sit him til you get there.

And a bigger suggestion - keep looking for housing options.

I hear what you are saying about the $ and the commute and the pets and the upheaval...but it sounds like you are in a never-going-to-get better situation with your dad and stepmom. In other words, as long as you are seeing your current situation as the only option, things won't be able to change.

Sometimes it just takes starting to look.

This might include looking for a different job. I know that's easier said than done, but still - just looking never hurt.

Not looking, nothing changes.

 

[The Albatross]

Or I was thinking about a pet sitter rather than a kennel.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Just one suggestion - the 25$ place that closes at 7 - ask them if anyone on staff would be interested in a little extra to take your dog home and sit him til you get there.

It seems to me a 'pop & son' sort of operation but still a business. Maybe. The son whom I spoke today doesnt seem to know much but its worth asking.

Rover.com seems to be a feezable option if i can get over this issue with my house. Actually, its even feezable for overtime for if dad & my step mom move.

it sounds like you are in a never-going-to-get better situation with your dad and stepmom. In other words, as long as you are seeing your current situation as the only option, things won't be able to change.

It does and my hope is that change would be them 'getting it' and i had set up 'fixed' sort of therapy sessions for when my dad goes with me, and he will, but he will never 'get it' and if he stayed the way he was before, id be ok with it but it seems he is backing up to align more with the remainder of my family. He will never be as drama starved as they are but he is buying into their bullshit.

My huffing and the money issues on both ends were the main reason they moved back in (mostly on their end, they asked me to move in though I was sinking and not telling anyone) but i had also spoke to my therapist many of times about my need to forgive my dad and so we had sort of hoped that he would go to a few therapy sessions (he went to one but will go if i ask) see i have the issues i do for a reason, at the time i thought he fully believed me, and i would also at the same time eventually be able to forgive him and i could heal the relationship with my dad. Actually i think that is the main reason i let them move back in, the last time I have huffed was the weekend my ex roommates moved out and there was a gap in there where i lived alone.

Anyway, I really didnt see this huge back sliding. Its been unhealthy for a while but not like this. I told him to leave once, he said he was paid up for the month so would leave at the end of the month...and i guess i'll find a hotel room at 74...and i may be homeless...and............. I dont know how to get them out gracefully without injurying our relationship more. I know im being manipulated, though I dont think he's doing that in purpose (you'd have to meet him...he is as clueless as they come). I dont know how not to feel bad that im putting my elderly father out.

Im going to have to discuss it, a lot, with my therapist as I want to salvage as much as I can of our relationship. Though its not much of one, I do cherish what I have of it but my therapist is on that same wave length and have been for a long time.

This might include looking for a different job. I know that's easier said than done, but still - just looking never hurt.

A new job may come anyway if i dont get promoted soon but cross trained in this and that without a pay raise. I havent looked but been wanting to. Brighthouse is the closest company off the top of my head that has a call center here that id like to work at but they are being bought out by Charter and rumor is they are closing their call center here. Sprint wont hire me back as I got unemployment from them and at the point I dont think sales will work with this anxiety. I dont know. Will look though and see what call centers are around. Sure doesnt hurt to look but in Florida at a call center I seriously doubt starting pay will be higher than my current rate. I so wish I worked on the other side of the company, they are union and get paid like 3 times as much. Actually I wish I still lived in KS, SO much easier to live with one income.

Not looking, nothing changes.

I know, I certianly know, change is my middle name. Its just the changes to look bleaker than my current situation. My head calulates things non-stop. Sometimes its 'ways out' and other times its to decide what the best decision is and i cant find a way different that is any better other them they getting it and treating me better and i cant force that. I mean looking wont hurt and I will look, just not getting hopes up as I did looking for a 1 bedroom closer to where i now work which is just 8.5 miles away cheaper than i currently pay when it ended up apartments half the size is twice as much.

In the explosion before dad left to see my brother, he said my therapist was unprofessional and he wanted to talk to him. All along my therapist has been wanting me to tell my entire story to my dad and ive been not wanting to. In that explosion i told him he is welcomed to go at my next session when he is in town (a week from tomorrow) and at this point he can be told anything by my therapist, I dont care. That is still open and my dad said he will go if i ask so maybe if my therapist tells him, which he has offered to do, maybe my dad will get it more and get why i dont want to go? Maybe hearing why my therapist believes me will help? Some times to ask my therapist tomorrow I think. But that cant hurt either as at the moment he doeant believe me. Why not just let the cat fully out of the bag? It will take longer than an hour so a few sessions maybe? Anyway, thinks to talk to my therapist about.

 

[Sideways]

Trying to keep up with the posts - in case it hasn't come up, do take him to the vet if the runs persist and there appears to be no cause. The runs kills more kids than any other disease on the planet, and dogs, like humans, dehydrate really quick if they get the runs:(

Know you're looking out for the fella coz I know how important he is to you. And given how much dogs pick up on their owner's mental health, it could well be he's seriously stressed out and that's given him tummy trouble...

 

[lostforgottensoul]

do take him to the vet if the runs persist and there appears to be no cause. The runs kills more kids than any other disease on the planet, and dogs, like humans, dehydrate really quick if they get the runs

Oh I will and he always drinks A TON so im not too worried about dehydration. I think its a mixture of things. He already has a more sensitive tummy than most dogs, I had forgotten I mixed in (a little bit) of new food that looked way more healthy though he's been on most of the top brands looking for food sensitivity but the food is already mixed in and i did it before they left (and bought a 50 lb bag of the new stuff as he normally has a bit of more runny poop during the slow switch but takes the food well once switched) and so im going to buy a small bag of his normal food to give him during this time. Also he is normally on a 3 times a day schedule. I know he can hold it 9 hrs as both dogs were alone for that long when we all drove up to N Florida. Their dog is with my step mom. He has horrible seperation anxiety and someone is normally always home and then my stress. It wasnt near as runny so i think some of his 3 a day schedule is in that. It wasnt as much either and he didnt pee. He knows he did wrong so unsure if his training is slipping but he is well house trained and never went on the floor except if he just couldnt hold it anymore.

I'll see how he takes the crate tomorrow too. But dont worry, my animals are way better taken care of then I am, he will see a vet if it persists. He threw up on my couch today too so im getting worried but trying not to get too worried, it could be the food. And im watching his water intake, its normal and his behavior else wise is also normal (other than not wanting to go outside and making me chase him around the house but i think that was the fireworks plus a thunderstorm today but will watch him closely, I promise!)

Know you're looking out for the fella coz I know how important he is to you. And given how much dogs pick up on their owner's mental health, it could well be he's seriously stressed out and that's given him tummy trouble...

Indeed I do and yeah, it could be me thats causing it. I know when I explode or even raise my voice he runs so it very well all might be that.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

First day Im going to put him in the crate. Its not for 10 hrs, its going to be from 1:30pm to around 4pm to go to my therapist and walmart but its a huge step for me to do it.

I dont have a crate bowl but his food and water bowl goes inside of a like metal thing. It doesnt rise it but a few inches but it holds it so its less likely he will turn over the water bowl. I made him go in it to make sure he still has enough room and he seems to.

I put some favorite toys and his very favorite which i dont let him have often because it has a squeeker and its annoying but he goes insane when he sees it so im going to put that in there. He has a squeey rubber bone but i cant find it. I put his food in the holder but he goes crazy trying to take the blanket thats in the and cover it up and im scared he's gonna knock the whole thing over so I took it out and just left the water in there.

Im not even sure if he'll drink out of the stainless metal bowl as he has an auto waterer thats way too big to put in there. Its like 5 gallons or something.

Anyway, needless to say im freaking out in putting him in there even for 3 and a half hours. I have 2 days to become ok with 10 hrs...oh god!

The runs have stopped and i propably shouldnt have given him the anti runs pills as he could barlely go when i just took him out. That will work its way out but poor guy is now constipated. I feel bad for that! :( If I would have thought back, my parent's dog went through that at the same time they left to the point that he, also house trained, was going on the floor in front of us and my step mom freaking out that he was dying. Their dog is a chihuahua so pampered to a point that i want to puke. Anyway, bugs, viruses, etc can pass from dog to dog and after a few days their dog got better and so if i would have remembered that i wouldnt of shoved the anti runs pills down his throat... :(

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Annnnd he breaks my heart. As soon as left, though I left the tv on for voices, he started barking insanely. God I feel like im doing something to him and not for him. He does that if he's tied up too or closed in a room by himself. He hates to be alone. Its severe seperation anxiety. I stood by the door for a while to listen and once he thought I was gone he seemed to settle a bit. At least stopped barking for the few mins I stood there.

I saw a neighbor put her dog in the screened in porch when she left but he would break through the screen. Him jumping up to see out it (we have water proof screen on the bottom half and the roof that you cant see through but air can come through) he rips the screen. He can bust through that easy. I dont like to tie dogs up, at all, but even if I were going to tie him up in there theres nothing to tie him to and the feel like tempature today is 110 degrees. Im not doing that to him. The other day the feel like was 120. Its too hot to have him out that long.

The crate is better as its a comfortable 74 in my house 100% of the time and he is secure. I still feel bad though.

 

[desiderata310]

Remember: he STOPPED barking which means that while he didn't want you to leave, he managed to soothe himself and settle down. Dogs sleep an awful lot. He is going to settle in and sleep and it will be ok. You're keeping him someplace safe, someplace that feels like a cozy den. He has food and water and room to move around a bit and he's going to be ok and happy to see you when you get home.

Breathe. It's going to be ok.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

he STOPPED barking which means that while he didn't want you to leave, he managed to soothe himself and settle down.

He did but not sure if he started back up. He didnt drink out of the bowl. I came home with a load from walmart so didnt let him out right away, he was whinning so loud that outside it sounded like someone was strangling him. I made him lay down and be quit before I let him out (he knows the command "quiet" though its slipping because of my parent's dog barks at a leaf that flys by and Chopper thinks he can too) but he did and i praise him a ton like super excited type of praise and gave him a few treats trying to associate being in the crate for long periods of time to good things.

He has a bit of the runs again but im trying not to worry, his body might be trying to re-regulate from the pills.

He drank a ton when i let him out so i know he didnt drink any in there. I got a crate bowl instead of one of those big dog water bottles as i would have no idea how to show him that licking it produces water unless i hold it and let him investigate it. I dont know.

I'll have to show him that thats where the water is. I really cant take this crate thing for 10 hrs if he's not drinking....that associates way too much plus he needs water.

I couldnt find any dog calming stuff at walmart in any fasion but the lady there said she gives her dog camomile tea and it calms her dog down a lot so i got some. I was going to get the sleepy time but didnt. Ive never heard of that working. I need to google a bit to make sure its ok to give to dogs.

The dog calming stuff I'll have to go to the pet store and my pain level couldnr hold up to stop there but maybe tomorrow if i feel up to it.

They didnt have a small bag of the food i normally get, the brand is there but only the grain free in a small bag. The new food is one that looked good and ingredients are much better but i bought a big bag of it so he has is normal brand, the new brand, and now grain free of his normal brand all mixed up. I hope thats good enough to stop his runs if caused by the food change.

Im also going to tell my dad that i need to get him on a going out twice a day schedule instead of 3 times a day so i can work with my dad and its perfece timing as mon my work schedule changes.

Oh, also I found Bio Silk for dogs both shampoo and waterless shampoo spray that smells devine! I bought the spray as i like his normal shampoo that I use. Thats awesome that Bio Silk now makes dog shampoo.

 

[scout86]

He didnt drink out of the bowl.

I know it's nice if they have access to water 24/7, but lots of dogs don't. Mine usually come with me during the day, and I've found that even if I offer them water during the day (and I do) they usually won't drink until we get home. Lots of times that's more than 10 hours. Same for being in their crates. (And my house is warmer than yours right now, since you've got AC.)

One of my dogs is scared of thunderstorms. The vet told me to give him benadryl for that. The same stuff they use for human allergies, over the counter. He weighs about 50# & they said to give him one tablet 15 min before it storms.(That would be great, if I always knew when that was!) It seems to help. Might help with separation anxiety too. What ever you do, try not to make it a big deal, or it will be a big deal for him too.

This isn't ideal, I know, but it will be ok. You'll get it handled!